Last night, Dwayne Johnson, otherwise known as The Rock, returned to the WWE. People were called candy-asses, eyebrows were flashed, and there were long, dramatic pauses before people found out who was doing the cooking from which a smell was emanating. Many odd things happened with his monologue–odder than the usual professional wrestling event: Justin Bieber was referenced, things were likened to Barney the Dinosaur’s anus, and a legitimate movie star and actually-good actor said the following: “It is because of you I am back in this ring, and I give you my word, I am never, ever going away.”
The only currently known solid fact to take from his appearance and lengthy monologue (two videos totaling over twenty minutes, which can be seen after the break) is that he’ll be hosting the upcoming Wrestlemania XXVII on April 3.
The captured video is flipped horizontally, but that doesn’t detract from any eyebrow-flashing.
(via Bill Simmons)