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Afraid To Be Away From Your Phone For Even One Goddamn Second? You Might Need the noPhone

Today in: Jokes we wish were real things

noPhone

Confession time: I can’t deal with not having my phone on me at all times. All. Times. It’s bad enough that when I saw a link for the noPhone, a simple phone-sized piece of plastic for when you have to be away from your phone, my reaction was “That’s stupid… wait… no… that’s brilliant… I need that… damn it it’s not real.”

As best as I can tell the noPhone is notReal. There’s not ordering information and the website is full of a number of really subtle jokes. For example, here’s their demo video for how to operate it:

Yup. That’s the whole thing.

There are also things like this testimonial from user Dave H:

I used to sleep with my phone in my hand, but my night terrors would cause me to hurl it across the room in an unconscious panic. With the noPhone, I can still enjoy the comfort of holding a phone in my sleep, without waking up to a shattered screen. Thanks, noPhone.

Almost certainly fake, but I’d be lying if I said I never fell asleep with my phone in my hand.

Joke all you want, noPhone, but if you were real I would 100% buy you.

(noPhone via TechCrunch, image via noPhone)

Previously in phone dependence

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