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Power Grid

The 10 Worst Schools in Geekdom

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  • Sarah

    Morning Glory Academy.

  • Ari Carr

    Totally have to mention Morning Glories Academy from the comic Morning Glories! That is one school you do not want to go to.

  • Nikki Lincoln

    Neptune High

  • TKS

    Sky High, from the Disney movie of the same name.

    A high school for superheroes that floats in the air above a metropolis. On their first day of high school students are separated, according to their powers, into “Hero” and “Sidekick” tracks. The Sidekick track is exclusively subjects that deal with making “your hero” look good. This system leads to massive bullying for the sidekicks, both from the students and the faculty.

    Not to mention the gym activity, “save the civilian.” students are separated into two teams of two. The “good guys” try to save a mannequin from being destroyed by a giant grinder, and the “villains” try to prevent them. During this activity, teachers reminisce about when THEY USED ACTUAL PEOPLE. They killed people trying to train heroes on how to save people. (While also training heroes on how to kill people.)

    Not to mention that no non-superhero education ever happens. Lord save us if a superhero from Sky High is ever faced with a life or death algebra problem.

  • Anonymous

    Seriously. We’ve seen the students in an actual classroom, what, maybe once? At which point the room filled with water to try to drown people. Everything that hasn’t been psychological torment has been “team-building exercises.” Wait, no, that’s still the same thing.

    Also, if you attend the school, your parents evidently utterly forget you ever existed. Mind you, that might be a *selling* point for some teens…

  • Anonymous

    …I really, really want to read a story with a life-or-death algebra problem now.

    “I will push this button and annihilate the entire eastern seaboard… unless Captain Magnificent solves this tenth-grade algebra problem in the next five minutes!”

    “You FIEND!”

  • Duffy Austin

    It’s not fair! Does Abe love Joan or Cleo? What will Scudworth do with a bunch of frozen famous historical clones and a board of shadowy figures? DOES JOHN STAMOS LIVE!?

  • Kit Maxel

    Wolverine teaches Comportment!

    (Officially, Wolverine teaches history and something about fighting [ ])

  • Terence Ng

    I seem to recall that Jason once showed how to spin a bow staff as his talent for class…What high school does Show and Tell?!

    There was a great vignette by Scottie Young about Anole and in it, he actually states that all the time the students spent fighting off death threats resulted in Anole having a terrible education. When the school closes and he goes back to regular school in his home town, he realized he was nowhere near the level of education of his peers. It’s a rare glimpse into these oft-seen classes but never seen curriculums…other than Telepathy, Flight, and Martial Arts classes.

  • TKS

    Fowra Suppah, Oi, err ah, want a pahty plattah!

  • Shannon S.

    I’ve started to wonder if people didn’t use the Sunnydale High library because they felt ‘creeper out’ or something. Like they were being watched. I mean I know people are stupid, but you’d think standing on top of a literal gateway to hell would warrant a couple hairs standing on end.

  • Anonymous

    also, the scooby gang had to deal with snyder…what an ass

  • Anonymous

    also, giles wasnt the most attentive librarian to the students. for instance, he didnt help that kid who needed a copy of emily dickinson, and the books werent always shelved properly. (huge gaps in the stacks, upside down volumes, ect.)

  • Alexis Talbot

    I absolutely loved Animorphs. It was awesome! <3

    Personally I think pokemon's a viable option for a worst school ever, simply because they don't even send you to an actual school. Your just thrown out in the world at ten years of age and fight using creatures. Seriously, Pokemon is awesome, but I doubt my parents would've ever let me do that. Even as irresponsible as they are.

  • Mark Brown

    What about Lawndale High, from Daria?

    While we DO see the students in class, between the idiotic students, the dysfunctional staff, and Principal Li, I’d certainly consider it an academic dystopia.

  • UrbanK9s

    I would say Fujimi Acadamy from “Highschool of the Dead”, considering everyone in the school either gets killed, turned into zombies, or flees in the first few episodes (not to mention how “wonderful” the one teacher you know of who escapes is), but I don’t know if it counts since everyone who is still alive has left the school after the first few episodes.
    Also in anime, there’s Yomiyama North from “Another” where class 3-3 is cursed, and each year the curse may end up causing multiple students and their family members to die in disturbing ways if it isn’t stopped (and even if it is stopped for that year, there’s always next year)– and this had been going on since 1972. Yet the majority of the faculty keeps quiet about it and does not try to help or even talk about it if asked.

  • Francesca M

    I was just about to say!

  • Francesca M

    Also Better they forget you than the alternative for them.. GULP.

  • Stacia Evonne

    The DWMA (Death Weapon Meister Academy) from Soul Eater and Soul Eater NOT!

    The grim reaper himself is the headmaster … nuff’ said .

  • Anonymous

    He will finally open Cloney Island! It will be just like Madame Tussaud’s, but with a much chillier climate.

  • Erica Tomas

    Holy crap, someone else has watched Clone High! That is still one of my favorite shows, and i quote it on a constant basis. In fact, just two minutes ago…”I’m gonna eat you like a dingo eats a baby. Koala! Wallaby! Oi oi oi!”

  • Emily Hill

    What about Casper High from Danny Phantom yeah we saw them in class from time to time but with how many ghosts were zipping around not including Danny Mother F-ing Phantom/Fenton I’m surprised they didn’t abandon the school or hire a priest to deal with these things

  • Rebecca

    I’d have been pretty creeped out if my school library had been 95% books on demons, witchcraft and the occult. I imagine that all the books actually useful to non-Scoobies would have fit on half a shelf.

  • Anonymous

    Given some of the events in the comic, I’m still not entirely clear on whether or not that alternative is real or some sort of induced hallucination. (Then again, a fairly solid argument could be made that it’s hard to tell if *anything* involving that school is real or no.)

  • JW

    Good one! For those not familiar though, it may require clarification:

    Neptune High was the school that Veronica Mars (in the series of the same name) went to for the first two seasons of the show. Some spoilers follow though not with specific episodes listed:

    The school sits in a town where the heroine literally describes it as where everyone is either really rich, or working for them… and boy does it show. It’s corrupt as hell, from the student body (ID forgery! Secret societies! Graft! Blackmail! Motorcycle gangs!), to the administration (one teacher was boinking a student and paid her off to get an abortion; the system allows for “Pirate Points” that allow kids who are say, on the football team, to get privileges like lunch delivery, while leaving the kids more into arts or sciences in the cold; the IT guy was selling students’ email passwords; the principle forced the journalism teacher to NOT cover the most important school-relevant story and when she allowed it anyway and broke the case thereby saving an innocent kid… she gets pushed out).

    Also, all of the kids from these families are being screwed by the system somehow, whether it’s their rich (and in some cases, probably abusive) daddies, or being accused of crimes they didn’t commit. Did I mention the local sheriff is a lazy ass who refused to follow up on Veronica’s rape and has railroaded at least a couple of men who turned out to be innocent, and has like zero respect for any of the citizens they supposedly protect, let alone the poor ones?

    Did I mention that despite the “teen girl solves mysteries” angle, the show was in fact very much told in the classic noir style, too? So yeah, you get a real zeroing in on the corruption and poverty and occasionally abusive parents… and this is the system these people have to live with. Rich assholes control almost everything, generally at the expense of the poor.

    Oh, and CRIME. I have no idea what the actual canonical crime rate is in the series, but it must be pretty damn high since there’s at least one or two if not several crimes every damn week AT THE HIGH SCHOOL ALONE.

    Haven’t finished watching the series yet, but the local college seems to have an equally high crime rate, which is otherwise not surprising for a college campus (young impressionable drunken youths living away from home tend to get targeted, after all), but in this case is really saying something. Did I mention there was a serial rapist on that campus at one point?

    Seriously, that place sounds like an awful place to live.

  • Arresi

    Mathemagics by Margaret Ball and the related short stories in the Chicks in Chainmail anthologies. Magic spells take the form of algebra equations. Features a barbarian warrior who moved to the suburbs, her daughter, her algebra teacher boyfriend, and a cast of warriors, warlords, wizards, and PTA members.

  • Anonymous

    I should’ve thought of those, because I’ve actually read — and enjoyed — them; I still have a battered old paperback of Mathemagics. The “superhero” bent of the original post and my reply evidently kept me from thinking fantasy. Mea culpa!

  • Radb707

    All this and not a single mention of Todd and the Book of Pure Evil? Like 5 students die every episode! The school is always getting overrun with plants, convered in blood, converted to a RPG, or a musical. I know it’s only big in Canada, but someone has to know about it.

  • Tasha Oliva Peláez

    I’m so glad the Animorphs made it! I thought of them as soon as I saw the description for this piece. I remember Rachel receiving some award for getting all A’s in the books at some point and being like “WTF? She is always battling Yeerk-infested Hork Bajir at like 3 AM, who has time for school work? Especially when you are in love with a boy who is unfortunately trapped in a red-tailed hawk’s body?”

  • Tasha Oliva Peláez

    I’m so glad the Animorphs made it! I thought of them as soon as I saw the description for this piece. I remember Rachel receiving some award for getting all A’s in the books at some point and being like “WTF? She is always battling Yeerk-infested Hork Bajir at like 3 AM, who has time for school work? Especially when you are in love with a boy who is unfortunately trapped in a red-tailed hawk’s body?”

  • Tor H

    Throw some ‘errs’ and ‘ahhhs’ in there. What’s your hurry?

  • Lil Hana

    I personally wouldn’t want to go to whatever school that was in Battle Royale. Be a part of the randomly select a 9th grade class that fights to the death? No gracias.

  • Matt Jackson

    Cromartie High from the anime of the same name. It might be a school for badasses, but not the academically inclined. It’s bad enough dealing with a gorilla and a robot, but FREDDIE MERCURY?

  • Lady Viridis

    I only just watched Buffy over the last year, and one of the things I was constantly discussing with my friends (veteran Buffy fans) was how the hell Sunnydale high manages to stay open. I mean, it’s one thing to talk about the stupidity of parents who move to/live in Sunnydale when it’s open knowledge that dozens of kids die at that school every year. But how do they manage to keep the place staffed? Why would anyone ever agree to work there, again, when there are dozens of deaths, disappearances, and weird events every year, and at least a few teachers die along with the kids? I guess you could make the case that the Mayor and the cops keep things hushed up, but it seems like word would still get out.

    As far as Animorphs goes, I’d have to argue that the school itself is not actually terrible, it seems to function like a fairly normal school. Yes, some of the teachers are possessed by brain slugs, but in most cases that doesn’t affect their teaching. And the Animorphs themselves seem to manage an attendance rate no worse than some normal kids up until the later books, when the war becomes more open. Of course, like most TV schools, the show may have done things differently.

    Xavier’s school, though, has no excuse. There is just no possible way anyone is getting an education when there’s only 4-5 teachers for the entire place, and half the students are being trained for a personal army. The other question I always had is: who is cooking and cleaning for all these people?! In a mansion that large, you’d have to have a pretty big staff just to manage the place (a la Downton Abbey) but there’s no one.

  • SoupyTwist

    Nobody’s mentioned Greendale Community College.

  • Dal.

    Good one!

  • Anonymous

    Yeah, though it’s spiritual successor Blue Exorcist had *slightly* more time in actual classrooms, between trips to theme parks/Hell Gates and battling demons…

  • Anonymous

    Holy crap yes! ANOTHER was a great anime! Ah, but people don’t talk about the curse because if you do, you might cause it to happen again, so the keeping quiet and trying to limit exposure to both the class and the knowledge of the curse made sense within the story line. But hot damn, I love that anime!

  • Michelle Rivera

    CLONE HIGH! The most quotable show to ever hit planet earth, not simply MTV. My husband and I are obsessed with this show. It’s hilarious- also, you might recognize the entire cast of scrubs’ and SNL voices. UH MAY ZING. So I guess what I’m trying to say is – plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag. Plastic bag!

  • Emily Hill