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  1. Real-Life Bionic Man on Display in Washington DC

    His prosthetic face is even more unsettling than his robotic body. Maybe it's the combination of the two.

    The "Bionic Man" is a 6 foot tall robot outfitted with all of the top technology available in prosthetic organs, and he's the star of the Smithsonian Channel's documentary The Incredible Bionic Man. After a brief stint at New York Comic Con, he'll be on hand at the National Air and Space Museum in Washington, DC on Thursday, October 17.

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  2. Most Boring Vigilante Group Ever Paints Illegal Crosswalks on Busy Tacoma Street

    They fight for Truth, Justice, and the American right-of-way.

    A street in Downtown Tacoma, Washington has seen a recent spike in traffic accidents, and apparently the city hasn't done much to quell the concerns of locals in that area. Enter a group that calls itself "Citizens for a Safer Tacoma," who have taken it upon themselves to spray-paint their own crosswalks to keep pedestrians safe from cars. Naturally, city officials frowns upon this sort of behavior and have promised to prosecute anyone caught making these "rogue crosswalks," but that's a small price to pay for some literal street justice. Batman would be so proud.

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  3. Washington Rancher Mixes Marijuana in With Pig Food to Redefine Haute Cuisine

    As a not-born-but-bred Washingtonian transplanted to the East Coast, there are plenty of things I miss about home. Considering that things like "common sense drug laws" and "delicious, locally sourced food" both rank very high on that list, the following story pretty much sums up why I love my home state, where rancher and butcher William von Schneidau is now raising "pot pigs" -- swine fed on marijuana plants as a part of their daily diet.

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  4. Man Gets 18 Months in Prison for Home Invasion With Semen-Filled Squirt Gun

    In news that will no doubt make you shake your head in sorrow over the general state of affairs in the world today, a Bellingham, Washington man has been sentenced to a year and a half in jail after burglarizing a home and spraying a man staying on the couch there with a squirt gun filled with semen. Yup. You read that right.

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  5. Bikini Coffee Stand Owner Arrested After 16-Year-Old Employee Puts on Sex Show for Undercover Cops

    The owners of several drive-through bikini coffee stands in Washington State have been arrested on charges of sexual exploitation of a minor after baristas at the stands -- including one 16-year-old-girl -- were found giving "sexy shows" to patrons for tips. Unfortunately for Bill Dwayne Wheeler Jr. and his as yet unnamed partner, undercover police were among those getting the goods, which reportedly included glimpses of the girls "private areas." And while serving coffee while wearing a bikini may be legal in Washington, serving it wearing pretty much anything less than that is definitely not. It's a thin line, yes, but an important one.

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  6. Incestuous, Meth Smoking Washington Couple Arrested on Charges of Being Worst People Ever

    A woman and her boyfriend -- who is also her half-brother, for those of you working to fill out your "Degenerates on the Internet" bingo card at home -- were arrested in Lake Stevens, Washington earlier this month for smoking meth in their car. The official charge, though, was child endangerment, because of course the woman's 11 month old baby was  with them in the frigid, out of gas, meth smoke-filled car. As if you even needed to ask.

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  7. Washington Man Threatens To Shoot Up Schools If Gun Rights Are Restricted, Gets Arrested

    In stunningly clear object lesson on "Things Not To Do, EVER," World's Least Classy Total Idiot candidate Korry Martinson has turned himself into police who had been searching for him all weekend. Just hours after Friday's horrific shooting in Connecticut, Martinson, 19, allegedly put up a Facebook post thanking the shooter for his actions and threatening to "go shoot up every school in a 100 mile radius" if he felt that the tragedy affected his rights as a gun owner. Now, KOMO News is reporting that Martinson, who was at best drastically overestimating the popular sense of humor level over Friday's shooting, has been arrested on charges of felony harassment for the threat. You can see a screenshot of the alleged post below, but if you're among the many folks who are still kind of reeling from this one, be advised: it makes for exceedingly unpleasant reading.

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  8. Man Sentenced For Fatally Stabbing Parrot With Fork, Whiskey Unsurprisingly Involved

    Richard J. Atkinson, a 63-year-old man from Everett, Washington, has been sentenced to six months in jail for stabbing his (now ex-) girlfriend's parrot to death with a serving fork  while in the throes of what his lawyer described as a blacked-out rage fueled by mixing whiskey and anti-anxiety medication. For those of you who may be unfamiliar with Everett -- the Florida of Washington state -- no word in that sentence should come as any great shock.

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  9. Republicans and Democrats Agree On Manhattan Project National Park, Manage Not to Vote It Into Existence

    We've told you before about legislation in Congress that would make the laboratories that housed the Manhattan Project into a national park, commemorating probably the greatest gathering of scientific minds in the history of time and both the scientific progress (atomic energy) and sickening horror (the atomic bomb) that resulted from it. The Manhattan Project National Historical Park Act finally came up for a vote in the halls of Congress last night, and a majority of our great nation's elected represntatives -- 237 grown adults -- agreed that it should be a thing that exists, which, given the state of our political system today, of course means that the bill failed. Confused? We've got your explanation after the jump.

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  10. Washington to Offer Voter Registration Via Facebook

    Ah Democracy! Isn't it grand that we live in a nation where you can vote with your gum? You can even vote from orbit! But now, Washington State is moving toward the next great innovation in the way we elect our leaders: Allowing voters to register on Facebook. The application is scheduled to launch as early as next week.

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