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  1. Things We Saw Today: Priorities in Game Development Might Not Be Great for Diversity

    Yes, we're still upset about this one.

    "Look at how the feces squish and plop with realistic physics! Hmm? What do you mean by, 'priorities'?"

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  2. You Can Get A Marvel Action Figure Made With Your Face At Walmart. Unless You Want A Female Character, Of Course.

    Only boys get to be superheroes, duh.

    Chances are, I will never be a superhero. It's something I've had to come to terms with. But now, thanks to Marvel, the most painful aspect of non-superherodom (the lack of a personalized action figure, obviously) has been mitigated. Starting tomorrow, you can head to stores near you and have a Marvel action figure made, featuring your very own face. As long as you're cool with being either Iron Man or Captain America. Sorry, girls; superheroes aren't for you I guess.

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  3. You Can Get an iPhone 5c for Practically Free or a Cheap 5s at Walmart Right Now

    No, this is not a spam email. I promise.

    It looks like Walmart is getting a jump on selling older models of the iPhone for cheap when the iPhone 6 hits, and they're not messing around.

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  4. 14-Year-Old Lived in Texas Walmart for Days by Building Secret Forts

    What? Was Costco closed?

    Anyone who's ever held a retail job is surely familiar with the concept of finding a convenient hiding place among boxes and camping out to avoid detection, but hiding in a store you're not being paid to occupy is a new one by me. A teenager in Texas did just that by building two secret forts in a Walmart and living there for four days before being detected. Maybe he was just waiting for someone else to start a Community-style box fort vs. pillow fort competition?

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  5. Missed Out on Xbox One and PS4 Preorders? Walmart’s Giving You a Second Chance

    Get to the pickings before they're slim

    Those Xbox One and PS4 preorders went by pretty fast, huh? If you overslept the day that retailers put them out, then good news: Walmart's going to have a new stock of preorders available August 24, which is this Saturday. So maybe South Park was wrong and Walmart's not that evil after all.

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  6. Because We Need More Stuff: Walmart Reports Best Black Friday Sales Ever

    In today's totally depressing news, it appears that the American impulse to needlessly purchase junk in bulk is alive and well. Black Friday no longer exists just on Friday, despite the infamous day's name. No, our cup spilleth over to Thanksgiving as well. Walmart was already doing ridiculous amounts of business last night, and they've reported their best Black Friday events ever with almost 5,000 items sold per second between 8PM and midnight.

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  7. Things We Saw Today: The First Poster for Game of Thrones Season 3

    Things We Saw Today

    That's just what you wanted, right GoT fans? (Bleeding Cool)

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  8. Pitbull is Totally Going to Kodiak Walmart, Bringing the Guy That Engineered His Exile

    Hey remember that time that a bunch of people on the Internet took it upon themselves to send popular entertainer Pitbull to a Walmart in Kodiak, Alaska? Well, the unflappable Pitbull has taken it in stride and is not only going to make the trek, but will be bringing the prank's mastermind with him. Well played, Mr. Pitbull.

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  9. The Internet is Sending Pitbull to a Walmart in Kodiak, Alaska

    There's nothing quite like corporate campaigns meant to harness social media being taken by the reins and subverted. The latest hijink comes courtesy of the unsuspecting marketing people behind Walmart and Pitbull, the hip-hop star that will shill out for just about anything. That includes Energy Sheets, which is the brand oddly paired with sending Pitbull to whatever Walmart has the most "Likes" on Facebook by July 15th. So now the collective will of the internet is sending him to Kodiak, Alaska.

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  10. Thousands of Birds Die Flying Head-First Into Walmart Parking Lot, Mistaking It for Water

    Today in unfortunate bird news, thousands of migrating grebes crashed into a Walmart parking lot -- as well as other similar constructions throughout Utah -- because they confused it with a body of water. Wildlife officials said the duck-like probably mistook the parking lot for a safe resting spot, like a body of water, considering grebes are aquatic. Wildlife program manager for the southern region of the Utah Department of Wildlife Resource's Teresa Griffin said the birds are "just everywhere," and that people are even coming into the department's office, dropping them off.

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