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  1. Would You Eat A Salami Made Of 40% Kanye West?

    No disrespect to non-human salami.

    Soon it may be literally possible to eat the rich. Although at first glance Bitelabs might seem like any internet startup, they're not just your typical group of Silicon Valley biotech gourmands. In their own words, Bitelabs wants to "mix celebrity and animal meats into curated salami blends."

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  2. Lottery Tickets for Christmas Could Turn Kids Into Degenerate Gamblers for Life

    The lottery -- or as you may know it, "taxes for people who don't think they pay enough taxes yet" -- is a fun game, and an only slightly less effective means of losing money than, say, setting it ablaze in a large pile or just flushing it directly down the toilet. It's also easier on your ventilation and sewage systems than those options, which concludes our thorough summary of all of the virtues of playing the lottery. Oh, wait, there's one more -- lottery tickets make fun holiday gifts for children that you have forgotten to buy holiday gifts for, and only might doom them to a lifetime of shattered dreams, broken promises, and horses who just couldn't quite keep it going down the stretch. According to a report issued today by the International Centre for Youth Gambling Problems and High-Risk Behaviors at McGill University, getting lottery tickets as holiday gifts can be a gateway into problem gambling for children. Even if it doesn't, though, best case scenario, it's teaching that kid to do a staggeringly stupid thing, as in play the lottery, so maybe don't do that, just on principle.

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  3. Congressman Lamar Smith, SOPA Author, Is a Copyright Violator

    SOPA's intent isn't what makes it bad. Trying to protect copyrighted content is a good thing, it's just that when that pursuit goes so far as to slaughter Fair Use and threaten to forever change the Internet -- in a bad, bad way -- it's not worth the fallout. What better way to illustrate SOPA's overzealous approach than to start showing how practically everyone would be in violation, people like Lamar Smith, for example, SOPA's author. We told you about the anti-SOPA petition that could have taken down Whitehouse.gov under SOPA, and congressman Lamar's website is a similar situation.

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