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vampires

  1. So Chris Pine Is A Vampire Lawyer Now

    It's got that thing, you know?

    Chris Pine and the people at Funny or Die must have known that if they attempted a serious ridiculous sketch about vampire lawyers, they would be up against some heavy competition—Phil Hartman's classic caveman lawyer, for example, or Harvey Birdman attorney at law. So instead they went in a different direction, and the entire Internet is better for it.

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  2. The Art of the Villain Backstory (and Why Dracula Untold Fails)

    “Son of the devil” my ass.

    Villainous backstories are an... imprecise science. When done well they can imbue a previously simplistic baddie with depth and challenge conventional morality. When done poorly, however, they are frustrating, self-pitying, and utterly off the mark.

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  3. The Medieval Ages Were F****** Terrible: Skeleton Found With Stake Through Chest In “Vampire Grave”

    Modern vampires have it so easy.

    Spoopy news for anyone who romanticizes Ye Olden Times: an ancient skeleton has been discovered in a Bulgarian "vampire grave" with an iron ploughshare hammered through its chest.

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  4. Archaeologists Have Unearthed a Dungeon They Believe Held Vlad the Impaler (AKA Dracula) Just in Time for Halloween

    Who's up for a field trip?

    It's monster season! But how do archaeologists on a restoration effort at a creepy abandoned castle get involved in the Halloween fun—aside from the fact that their work location is basically a Scooby Doo set? Why, they uncover the dungeon that likely held the man who was part of the inspiration for Dracula, of course!

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  5. The Twilight Series Is Coming Back… And the Reason Why Is Actually Pretty Cool

    I know. I'm shocked, too.

    When I read that the Twilight movie franchise was being resurrected with a series of five short films, my reaction was akin to a cat trying to get a hairball out of its throat. But then I read the thing that all the shorts will have in common and... readers, I didn't think I'd ever say this, but... Twilight. I am proud of you.

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  6. Do Mermaids Get Periods? or, Explaining The Menstrual Cycles of Various Mythological Creatures

    That is menarche! Er, sorry, malarky. Either or.

    The amount of erotic fiction written about vampires, elves, and mermaids could probably fill up every library in the world, but has anyone ever thought to offer one of these poor souls a tampon? Because I did. Come, speculate wildly with me!

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  7. Are You A-Were? Underworld Is Getting the Reboot Treatment

    Bloody good fun

    Now that I wrote that defense of reboots, I can't say anything bad about this without being a total hypocrite, can I? I have backed myself into a corner.

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  8. True Blood Finale Recap: Thank You

    Now what will we frantically switch the channel from when other people walk into the room?

    Last night happened, and now, for those of you who couldn't bring yourself to watch or are feeling a little nostalgic for the Bon Temps of yore, here is the last True Blood recap The Mary Sue will ever publish.

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  9. True Blood Fans Took To Twitter To Let Everyone Know Just How Horrible The Series Finale Was

    Grumpy True Blood fans are grumpy. Myself included.

    We'll have Carolyn's True Blood series finale recap up later today but until then, we felt compelled to share a bit of the fan reaction that started popping up on Twitter last night. While some fans certainly enjoyed the closure, others weren't so happy with the snooze-fest (my personal opinion) and weren't afraid to show it.

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  10. The Fault in Our Stars Director May Take On Anne Rice’s Next Vampire Adaptation

    A report claims the newly in demand director of The Fault in Our Stars may be tackling vampires in his next outing. But which Anne Rice book will it be?

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