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Valentine’s Day

  1. A Valentine’s Day Greeting From Amanda, Age 30

    Awwwwww

    We asked one of our contributing writers, Amanda LaPergola, to create a series of geek-inspired Valentine’s Day cards like she did in 2012. We asked if that was something she would be able to handle.  She said it was.  We asked if she would be able to make the deadline (sometime before Valentine’s Day).  She said that would be no problem.  We asked if she was really, really, really sure that this was something she wanted to do and was capable of handling on her own.  She through her head back and laughed.  And that is how we left things with her. This afternoon, we had heard nothing from Amanda, and we assumed that no Valentines would be had.  Just as we were about to close up Mary Sue Headquarters, a woman arrived at the offices.  This woman, we assumed, was Amanda’s mom.  She handed us a single piece of paper, shrugged, and left before we could ask her anything. This is the paper we were given…

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  2. Reserve Now If You Want To Dine At A Florida Mcdonald’s Tonight

    The perfect way to show someone you'll love them!

    If you're sick of the demanding consumerism that comes with celebrating the people you love today, Ernesto Izquierdo works at a Mcdonald's in Tampa and totally gets it. Thankfully she got her restaurant to take reservations tonight, so we can all celebrate love on the cheap. Yes, it's the most Florida thing ever--but isn't it also kind of sweet?

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  3. Guy Reserved Every Other Seat in a Movie Theater So Couples Couldn’t Sit Together on Valentine’s Day

    Couples respond by probably just going to a different movie.

    What's one to do in the face of a post-breakup Valentine's Day? Forgoing the popular "play video games alone and drink" approach, a man in Shanghai decided to reserve every other seat at a screening of Beijing Love Story so that snuggling couples wouldn't rub romance in his face... at a movie called Beijing Love Story.

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  4. Take Your Makeouts (And Also Your Nightmares) to The Next Level With This Kissing Practice Pillow

    This will really improve James Franco's relationship with his dakimakura, Kimiko-tan.

    Want to creep out your valentine and also imply that they're not a very good kisser in one fell swoop? Have we got the romantic homemade gift for you! All you need is some felt, a needle and thread, pillow stuffing, and a bunch of rubber removable mouths from discarded CPR dummys, and you'll be able to make your partner's dreams come true.

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  5. Tell Someone You Think They’re Alright With These JL8 Valentines

    You're alright, Internet. We guess.

    It's Valentine's Day. You know how we know? Because the Internet is flooded with people sharing Valentines. Love it or hate it, it's happening, and it's going to continue to happen because this set of Valentines from JL8 creator Yale Stewart. We'd be remiss if we didn't share them with you, Internet.

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  6. Pacific Rim Valentines For Your Jaeger Co-Pilot

    THIS IS FOR REAL MAKO

    In addition to these punderful Pacific Rim Valentines by Benjamin Dewey, we've slapped a few miscellaneous geeky Valentines into the gallery as well. Speaking as someone who doesn't do the whole V-day thing, looking at other people's jokey cards is the best part of the whole day, and we'd hate to shortchange you. The candy doesn't go on sale until tomorrow, after all.

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  7. More Than Two Dozen Last Minute Geeky Valentines for You Lazy Good-For-Nothings

    Your Stupid Minds! Stupid! Stupid!

    Sometimes your sweetie, significant other, or BFF gets a beautiful hand crafted Valentine's Day card. And sometimes you do some quick Googling and drop a link on their Facebook page, because that's just how your month went. Google no more. We have you covered.

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  8. Kitchen Overlord Has a Recipe for Custom Candy Hearts That Don’t Taste Like Chalky Ass

    Unless you like chalky ass. Then do whatever you want.

    It's Valentine's Day tomorrow. If you're out shopping for just the right kind of candy heart but don't like gnawing on chalk or passing on canned sentiment, then may we suggest making your own? Our friends over at Kitchen Overlord have this handy guide to custom culinary caring confections. And great news: they're really easy.

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  9. If You Love Pizza Hut so Much Why Don’t You Marry It? Or at Least Check Out Its OKCupid Profile

    I'm in Veggie Likers with you, Pizza Hut, but I don't know if I'm in Veggie Lovers with you.

    Lonely this Valentine's Day? Don't worry, Pizza Hut is there for you--at least if you have an OKCupid profile. It does too. Yes. Now you can date a pizza franchise, just like Saint Valentine intended. (That's what Valentine's Day is about, right?) You could also WIN FREE PIZZA FOR LIFE!

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  10. This Website Lets You Make Your Own Candy Hearts, So We Made Some Nerdy Ones for You

    You're welcome.

    Rejected candy hearts are all the rage this Valentine's season. Well, you know, and every Valentine's season since the invention of the Internet and terrible jokes (whichever came first). But they're especially easy to make this season using the Cryptogram, so we made a bunch of nerdy ones, just for you.

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