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The Hobbit

  1. Spain Is Working on an Unauthorized Middle-Earth Theme Park

    The world is indeed full of peril.

    Welcome... to MIDDLE-EARTH!

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  2. Texas School Suspends 9-Year Old for Threatening to Make Classmate Disappear With the One Ring

    There is only one Lord of the Ring, only one who can bend it to his will. And he does not share power.

    The boy's father assured officials that his son lacks the magical power to back up his statements. "He's a total squib."

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  3. The Silmarillion Recaps: Of Jerk Elves and Really Shiny Jewels

    Part 1

    I’m going to admit it up front: I love J.R.R. Tolkien’s work. I’m particularly fond of Middle Earth but my favorite book is not The Lord of The Rings. It’s The Silmarillion. I know, I know, that dry historical tome that reads like a bible? YES. That one. I love it. It is epic and dark and lyrical and poetic. It’s also kind of banana pants.

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  4. Hannibal Has Cast Richard Armitage For Season Three Because Life Is Beautiful

    Yum yum!

    The Hannibal gods are good, Fannibals, because Richard Armitage has landed a role in the show's new season. (Spoilers for possible season three plot points!)

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  5. Things We Saw Today: A Life-Sized Downton Abbey Dowager Countess Cake Shaped Like Maggie Smith

    I feel bad for wanting to eat it?

    This cake was made by cake and chocolate artist Karen Portaleo for the Downton Abbey Season 5 premiere party. It took 18 hours to make. May there be many more Maggie Smith cakes and statues to come. (via Jezebel)

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  6. “I Thought I was Being Brave”: Eddie Redmayne Tells Embarrassing Story About Auditioning for Bilbo Baggins

    Yes, arm flapping is definitely what I associate most with that character.

    When you're auditioning for a part that someone's already played before you, it can be difficult to find your own voice. But as poor Eddie Redmayne told those in attendance at The Graham Norton show last night (including Anna Kendrick), what you should probably not do is forgo your own voice entirely and do your best Ian Holm impression, because that probably won't go over very well.

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  7. People Are Using Hacked Toy Hobbit Sting Swords to Find Unsecured Wi-Fi

    "I will give you a name...and I shall call you NO MORE LINKSYS."

    The Elvish smiths of Gondolin had their priorities straight: having an early-warning system for nearby goblins and orcs is all well and good, but finding accessible Wi-Fi networks is just as important. And now, thanks to the work of some enterprising nerds over at Spark.io, Sting's true web-cutting potential has finally been revealed!

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  8. Review: The Hobbit: The Battle of the Five Armies Is the Phantom Menace Of Middle Earth

    Going by movie order, The Battle of the Five Armies is Revenge of the Sith, but if we're looking at quality, it's The Phantom Menace all the way. While not as bad as The Phantom Menace, it's still the runt of the Middle Earth family. The Faramir, if you will. Except Faramir is the greatest, and he treats women a helluva lot better than The Battle of the Five Armies does. This review contains major spoilers for how things go down in funkytown.

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  9. Prepare Yourself For Final The Hobbit Release Today By Watching All 212,470 Deaths In Lord Of The Rings

    There! I'm numb to emotional pain now!

    Total humblebrag, but I saw Battle of the Five Armies at the Toronto premiere and Peter Jackson sat directly behind me because he had never seen it in IMAX before. I have never been so conscious of how I react while watching a film. Also, Lee Pace looks glorious in a plaid suit. That is all.

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  10. Ian McKellan Teaches Cookie Monster About Self Control By Presenting Him With THE RING OF SAURON ITSELF

    One cookie to rule them all.

    Ah, yes, I remember that passage of The Two Towers well. You know, the one where Cookie Monster is all, "Not were Minas Tirith falling in ruin and me alone could save her, so, using weapon of Dark Lord for good and glory. Me not wish for such triumphs, Frodo son of Drogo.” and then Frodo is like "Okay great, but can I have my chocolate chip cookies back?" and then Cookie Monster roars "NO NEVER, MINE ME OWN ME PRECIOUS OM NOMN NOM NOM," and then Sam cries a bunch.

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