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  1. Groot Has A Cellphone And You Can Text Him Right Now

    For deep answers to all of life's most existential questions.

    Can't get enough Guardians of the Galaxy? Wish you could hang out with them forever? Well now you can have a Guardian in your pocket 24/7, ready to advise you at a moment's notice. Yep, a-holes - you can now text with Groot!

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  2. Kill It With Fire: Chinese Movie Theaters Are Putting Audience-Goers’ Texts On Screen

    UNACCEPTABLLLEEEEE

    I like to think I'm pretty forward-thinking about tech. I'm not one of those pretentious assholes who makes holier-than-thou comments about how people need to unplug from their screens and connect with the natural world, brahhhhhh. I hate the "Must humans play God?!" sci-fi trope. But so help me God, if this becomes a thing I will lose my shit, potential hypocrisy be damned.

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  3. Now If You Text Someone Who’s Driving in NJ, You Could Be Held Liable If They Crash

    Jersey strong! And easily distracted!

    Everybody knows you shouldn't text while you're driving. But what if you text while somebody else is driving? According to an appeals court in New Jersey, if you text somebody and they get in a car accident, it's legally your fault. You know, because you're not going to be putting enough blame on yourself if your friend gets in a car crash over a dumb text you send.

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  4. Texting and Driving’s the New Drinking and Driving, at Least Among Teens

    At this point, it really shouldn't take another study to show us that texting and driving is not safe. But another study showing that is exactly what we have this week, with a paper published today in the journal Pediatrics showing that texting and driving is now responsible for more car accidents -- and more fatalities -- among teen drivers than drunk driving. 

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  5. The Department of Transportation Wants Cars to Disable Your Cell Phone While Driving

    Texting while driving is dangerous, and you shouldn't do it. People still do it, and because of those people the Department of Transportation is recommending that auto makers install systems that will disable cell phones while the car is moving. That will stop texting and driving, but it will also stop texting while riding shotgun. This is overkill.

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  6. Today In Geek History: In 2008, National Grammar Day Begins

    March 4th is National Grammar Day! Now, it's only the sixth year of this universally important holiday, so it's especially important that grammar snobs join together and nurture this young celebration. We must foment superior communication and word snobbery, no matter how unpleasant it may make us at social gatherings. But why does grammar matter? And perhaps more importantly, why does it need a day? Shouldn't we be using good grammar every day? Well, yes, but people aren't. In this age of texting, of truncated language, of abbreviated meaning, we few -- we happy, snarky few -- must hold the line. As King Theoden lamented in The Two Towers -- and I'm paraphrasing -- "What can men do against such reckless word abuse?" Plenty!

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  7. Fox Steals Cell Phone, Sends Text in Language of the Foxes

    When a friend of 16-year-old Norwegian Lars Andreas Bjercke got a text message that read "Jlv In ø a0ab 34348tu åaugjoi zølbmosdji jsøg ijio sjiw," he wondered why his pal would send such a random assortment of characters. Little did he know that the message was written by the fox that had stolen Bjercke's cell phone. What was the fox trying to say? It might have been bragging about snatching the cell phone, or maybe asking for some delicious rabbits. Foxes love rabbits.

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  8. Reward For Not Texting In A Theater? There’s An App For That.

    Almost Totally Excellent

    At a recent trip to the theater I was greeted with two things; one was a message from the chain asking us not to use our cellphones during the show, another was a paid advertisement that talked about texting during a movie as if it were ok. Needless to say, while I assume most people are against cell phone usage of any kind during a film, there are those out there who think it's ok. But a new app aims to reward customers for good behavior. Will it work? 

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  9. Swiss Cows to Send Texts When They’re in Heat, Probably Still Qualifies as Sexting

    There seems to be a trend going on where we'd rather our livestock electronically warn us of things rather than actually checking in on them. For example, sheep might soon warn their shepherds of attack via text. Not content to let sheep get all the cool gadgets, Swiss dairy cows are about to get in on the action too. Due to the fact that it can be difficult to discern when a cow is in heat, sensors attached should be able to take measurements and alert farmers by text so they know when to inseminate the critters.

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  10. Sheep Could Soon Warn Their Shepherds of Attacks by Text

    Shepherding is a thing that still exists. Somebody's got to watch all those sheep. Sometimes, though, the flock is small enough to be a shepherd's entire livelihood while also not affording them the use of a dog to ward off predators. In order to curb this issue, scientists are working on a system of heart rate monitors for the woolly beasts that could eventually warn shepherds by text that their flock is in trouble. One of humanity's oldest professions, meet one of the most pervasive tech advancements of modern times.

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