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Terrible News

  1. Brett Ratner’s Making a FarmVille TV Show, And There’s Nothing You Can Do About It

    Are you sick of hearing about J.J. Abrams directing things? Yeah, us too. Here's the problem, though -- all the other news about other people signing on to projects is much, much worse. Case in point: because absolutely no one demanded it, you're getting a FarmVille TV series produced by no less a luminary than Brett Ratner, so abandon all  hope ye who enter here. It's a pretty inspired choice, we have to admit -- a man whose movies everyone watches and no one admits to watching paired with a video game many people play, but no one admits to playing for a TV show that probably no one will watch, but we'll bet still gets more episodes than Do No Harm.

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  2. Elmo Puppeteer Vindicated! Accuser Recants Allegations, Childhood Restored

    We reported yesterday on the story that Elmo puppeteer Kevin Clash had been accused of having a sexual relationship with a teenager. Good news, everyone! The New York Times says the anonymous accuser has recanted the allegations. In a statement made by his lawyers, the accuser is now calling the relationship an "adult consensual" one. That's great news, because yesterday we felt gross. All. Day. Long.

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  3. Childhood Ruined: Puppeteer For Sesame Street’s Elmo Accused of Affair With Teen

    This morning in "Things That Are Terrible" news, The New York Post is reporting that Kevin Clash -- the puppeteer who has brought beloved muppet Elmo to life for decades -- has taken a leave of absence from his work on Sesame Street in the wake of allegations that he had a sexual relationship with a then 16-year-old boy. If you can think of anything more inappropriate or childhood marring this morning, we very seriously don't want to hear about it.

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