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Shark Week

  1. Discovery Says to Hell With Moderation, Changes Shark Week to “Summer of the Shark”

    My shark week seems to go on forever too, Discovery. I feel ya.

    Much of the country may still be bowed under winter's relentless tyranny, but it's never too early to make plans for summer--especially if you're in need of a public relations boost after failing to stuff a live man down an anaconda's gullet.

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  2. Things We Saw Today: Who Needs Hogsmeade, Oreo May Have A Butterbeer Flavor

    If these taste remotely like rootbeer I'm calling shenanigans.

    Someone alerted us to these cookies via e-mail, but there's no confirmation yet from Nabisco if this package is real or just photoshopped by someone with a Mirror of Erised.

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  3. Discovery Is Misleading Scientists To Be Interviewed for Shark Week Pseudoscience

    Reminder: Real sharks are incredibly interesting.

    Last year Discovery got on the Internet's bad side by presenting a fictional story about a fictional search for a fictional megalodon, but it turns out they like it there. They're continuing their shady pseudoscience practices and io9 is reporting that they're misleading scientists to get interviews for their fake Shark Week documentaries.

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  4. The Mary Sue Giveaway: We Want to Give YOU Shark Week Cupcakes!

    Om nom nom nom.

    It's Shark Week on the Discovery Channel. We would like to ship you Shark Week cupcakes. It's (almost) that simple. 

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  5. Discovery’s Shark Week Will Kick Off With Another Bullshit “Documentary” Instead of Real Science

    Discovery Channel, stahp.

    Remember last year when the Discovery Channel lied about their Shark Week megalodon movie being a documentary? Looks like they're trying to one-up themselves this year with another "documentary," and they just owned up to being behind the above video as a marketing ploy with Nissan.

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  6. #CrushItLikeQuint With Jaws Beer Can Re-Release

    Here's to swimmin' with bowlegged women.

    We tend to focus more on sci-fi and fantasy movies here at Geekosystem, but any film geek will tell you it doesn't get much better than Jaws. To celebrate how great Jaws is, and how great Shark Week used to be, the Narragansett Brewery re-released the can famously crushed by Quint the film. Oh, show me the way to go home...

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  7. 5 Creatures That Would Make Perfect Subjects For Fake Discovery Channel Documentaries

    If the Discovery Channel says that unicorns are real then they have to be, right?

    Now that Shark Week is over and the outrage over Megalodon is winding down, Discovery Channel is going to need some new creatures to make fictional documentaries about. Since mermaids have been done already, might we suggest some of these animals as subjects?

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  8. The Best of Real Shark Scientist David Shiffman’s Ask Me Anything Reddit Thread So Far

    Oh boy, now I'm excited about sharks again!

    University of Miami marine biologist David Shiffman really loves sharks, but is super bummed by the state of this year's Shark Week -- so he decided to take questions about his life's work as part of Reddit's Ask Me Anything subreddit. Finally we're going to get some real answers from a real person who studies real sharks! And here are the best ones so far.

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  9. Got Actual Shark Questions? Ask Real Live Scientist David Shiffman In Tomorrow’s AMA

    He's a real person who isn't an actor or anything!

    Between the current criticism lobbied at this year's Discovery Channel Shark Week programming and the mysterious dead shark found in the New York subway the other day, people have a lot of unanswered question about sharks. Well, tomorrow you'll have somebody to turn to -- David Shiffman, a marine biologist who specializes in shark conservation.

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  10. Watch Tara Reid Vaguely Attempt To Explain How Sharks Work For Discovery Channel [Video]

    Tara, honey, please stop it. You're not Brian Fellows.

    And the mindless Shark Week programming keeps on coming! The other night on Discovery Channel's Shark After Dark, which I guess is like Talking Dead but for Shark Week, Sharknado star Tara Reid joined host Josh Wolf and co-star Ian Ziering to teach us literally nothing about sharks. Seriously, I know less about sharks now than I did ten minutes ago.

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  11. Somebody Found a Dead Shark On a Queens-Bound NYC Subway Last Night

    When asked, the shark shrugged and said that he couldn't afford to live in Manhattan anymore.

    Angry science junkies may have boycotted Discovery Channel for airing that completely bogus Megalodon documentary, but apparently the Universe won't allow us to let go of Shark Week so easily this year. Or, at least, this dead shark that showed up on the N train last night in New York City didn't. We're sorry, Shark Week.

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  12. Here are Some Actual Facts About Megalodon Since The Discovery Channel Won’t Give You Any

    Here's a fact: Megalodons are hella awesome.

    As you all know by now, Discovery Channel ruined Shark Week forever by airing a fake documentary about fake Megalodon sightings by fake people. Let's pretend that they instead produced a real documentary about what Megalodons were actually like -- what would you have learned from it? Well, maybe some of these awesome facts.

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  13. It’s Shark Week – Here’s A Cat, In A Shark Costume, Riding A Roomba.

    Elsewhere on the internet

    It's Shark Week, and even the cats are celebrating! Max-Arthur, the cat dressed in a shark costume who rode a Roomba chasing after a duckling, is back! This time he is taking his steed around the kitchen floor. You'd think after thousands of cat videos we'd start getting immune to the silly-adorable charms of our felines. Yet here we are, still guffawing at a shark-cat on a Roomba. How does this never get old? Only the internet knows. Previously in Cats

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  14. Internet Officially Mad at Shark Week for Airing a Fake Megalodon Documentary

    One could even say that it jumped the... no, no. I'm not going to say it.

    If you happened to tune in to the beginning of Discovery Channel's Shark Week programming last night, you might have caught an unusual documentary about a group of scientists trying to catch a megalodon off the coast of South Africa. Why's it unusual? Because megalodons have been extinct for over 2 million years. Yeah, that'll piss off a few nerds.

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  15. To Celebrate The End of Shark Week, Here’s The Best/Worst Hollywood Shark Attacks

    Offered Without Comment

    Because you need more sharks in your life. (via The High Definite)

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  16. A Song About Discovery Channel’s Shark Week By Marian Call

    i'll just leave this here

    Shark Week is almost upon us! This song, written by Marian Call and Patrick Race, should be playing every hour on the hour until then.

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  17. Blogger Shark Longs to be a Part of Your (Internet) World

    It began with a simple request over Tumblr. The proprietor of My Life as Rebekah was asked, "can you draw a shark who's addicted to the internet?" The response is truly wonderful, combining all the best of obsessive sharing platforms like Twitter and Tumblr with Shark Week and Disney's The Little Mermaid. This veritable pop culture cavalcade coalesced into a fantastic comic strip which will have you humming Part of Your World for the rest of the day. How wonderful, you ask? Read on below. I assure you, you will not be disappointed. 

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  18. It’s Shark Week, Everyone! Andy Samberg Gets Us Psyched [Video]

    hold on to your butts

    It's here, guys. Shark Week. That midsummer tradition, provided to us by the Discovery Channel, kicks off tonight at 9:00 pm with this year's formidable host, Chief Shark Officer Andy Samberg. We are happy to know that this shoot was successful and that he has all his limbs. Because sharks, man. Sharks. (BuzzFeed)

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  19. Andy Samberg Is Hosting Shark Week

    Yes. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes. Yes.

    Geek heartthrob/my "TV boyfriend" Andy Samberg has signed on as the host of Discovery Channel's 24th Annual Shark Week. He is also being named as the first-ever Chief Shark Officer (CSO), which means he's like a boss. A boss of sharks. Sharks with whom he might swim. According to the incredibly excited press release:
    As CSO, Samberg will host the network’s 24th annual SHARK WEEK celebration, cable’s longest running programming event and the official mark of summer. He will film on-air wraps for the weeklong event, host a SHARK WEEK special and may even take the plunge and dive with the apex predators ... Said Samberg: “I’m overjoyed about being appointed CSO. Everyone loves Shark Week. It’s the Bill Cosby of week-long television blocks dedicated to sea animals.”

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  20. Shark Week In 30 Seconds

    Feeling horribly behind on your Shark Week TV viewing? Well, this handy mini-guide will get you caught up in a jiffy. NSFW if yours is the kind of workplace that is totally cool with your reading Shark Week-themed infographics, but not at all OK if a cartoon shark briefly uses mild swear words.

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