Break out your scrunchies and reattach your Tamagotchi to your keychains, fellow nerds: Scream and Johnny Mnemonic are coming back, this time as TV shows.

Man alive, if I was ever more gloriously confused by a headline than I was by this one, I can’t remember when it was. MTV, who has been delving into scripted territory with shows like Teen Wolf, has announced that it’s developing a series based on the Scream movies. The franchise was successful when it hit theaters in the late ’90s, then tried making a comeback last year with a new sequel (which was awesome, but no one saw it). So, here’s the question: Is this a good idea? Or the best idea? Or is it only the best idea if we pretend it’s 1997?

So, you may have been trying to avoid all the buzz that surrounded The Cabin in the Woods, which, if all you have seen of it is the commercials and online ads, is being marketed as your typical “young people in a creepy cabin in the middle of nowhere surrounded by supernatural evil” kind of movie. However, if you’d been anywhere near the internet before its release on April 13, you would have known that there were tons of people who had seen this movie, either at SXSW or at a more recent screening, and could not talk about it because of the massive secret about the framework of the movie that could not be revealed that there was zero indication of in the ads. A friend told me, between the SXSW premiere and the 13th, that Joss Whedon — the movie’s co-writer and producer — said if the secret to this movie got out, he would hunt that person down in their own home and kill them, or something to that effect. (Apologies for not finding Joss Whedon saying that exact quote. Not kill, but mock — the “threat” can be seen here.)

Now that the movie has been out for over a week, some of you have seen it, and some of you are planning on it. And some of you might be wondering, as you hear all the hyperbolic statements about “the spoilers” and “the awesome,” what makes this movie so astoundingly great and unique. Don’t worry, I’m going to tell you. However, I’m also going to discuss the whole movie, so if you haven’t seen it, and you’re avoiding spoilers, I strongly urge you to trust me (and everyone else) to see the movie to find out for yourself how great it is. Because after the jump: tons o’ spoilers.

And now: Why The Cabin in the Woods is everyone’s new favorite horror movie.

Now that March is nearly upon us — less than 24 hours away, actually — it’s obvious that many of us are excited about The Hunger Games coming to theaters in just about three weeks. But one of the major elements of Suzanne Collins’ trilogy is how exceptionally ordinary the protagonist, Katniss Everdeen, is. She’s just a normal girl, thrown into a horrible situation, and then she handles the crap out of it. She sends a message that fantastical superpowers aren’t all that necessary if there is a battle afoot. Even an epically huge, life-or-death battle that concerns the welfare of a country, a planet, or even a universe.

This week, we’re talking about Katniss’ predecessors — superheroines of geekdom who don’t wear costumes, nor do they have superpowers. Some of them might be barely educated or inexperienced, some of them are wildly smart. But what they all have in common is that if you have them on your team in a fight, you will win. Hands down.

The producers of the original Blair Witch Project would like you to remember the no-frills original movie that was released in 1999 and became a gigantic hit after some truly experimental (for the time) Internet marketing and kindly forget the nearly unrelated sequel (Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2) that ended up a huge flop. In order to achieve this, they are considering another Blair Witch sequel that will be more related to the original that we all liked so much and even include the original actors. That’s weird, because I think they were supposed to have been lost forever in those woods? Okay, you have our attention.

Recently on The Awl, Melissa Lafsky said that Scream 4 was the “first mainstream feminist horror movie.” I think that’s a bit short-sighted, considering there were (obviously) three equally feminist-friendly movies before that in the same franchise. Scream was never meant to be a typical horror movie – it was meant to turn the genre upside down.

Be warned, spoilers are included throughout!

In case any of you were ‘shippers, here is a dose of adorable for you. (At DC Women Kicking Ass)