Of all the movies coming out in 2015—The Avengers sequel and Star Wars: Episode VII primary among them—Pirates of the Caribbean 5 holds the distinction of being the one approximately nobody cares about seeing. OK, maybe I’m projecting. Maybe there are people for whom the one-two punch of At World’s End and On Stranger Tides didn’t kill the franchise. (How could you do that to Norrington?!)

But, for me, the rumor that POTC 5 is getting close to finding a director resulted in a hearty, disappointed groan.

The speculation that the sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman will be exclusively about the Huntsman has been laid to rest–Kristen Stewart has confirmed that she will be back for the sequel, though original director Rupert Sanders will not.

Snow White and the Huntsman debuted top of the box office, eventually garnering nearly $400 million from its theatrical run, and while I didn’t have a particularly high opinion of it, I was happy that yet another an action film with a female lead was getting its money’s worth this summer. News of a sequel (disappointingly) featuring the movie’s male lead followed quickly, as anyone might expect for a monetarily successful film. What most people probably didn’t expect was the news that married director Rupert Sanders and Kristen Stewart were having an affair.

I don’t really need to tell you what’s going on with Kristen Stewart right now. If you have an Internet connection, you know. She cheated on Twilight co-star Robert Pattinson with Rupert Sanders, the married director of Snow White and the Huntsman. The scandal has given birth to a plethora of gossip rag covers, a few awkward TV interviews and speculation on how the final film in the Twilight franchise might be affected by the break-up of its stars.

I don’t want to talk about any of those things.

With everybody—from gossip hubs like Perez Hilton and TMZ to legitimate bastions of entertainment journalism like Variety and The Hollywood Reporter—keeping the public informed about the (possibly career-ruining, if reports can be believed) scandal, what gets me most curious about this whole thing is why people care so much.

It’s a mark of honor (honor, right, not shame?) that when a news story gets big or trends high enough, it becomes a fertile internet jungle where predatory spammers and data thieves hunt the unwary clicker. History has shown us that there are few things more juicy than a good sex scandal, and the reveal of actress Kristen Stewart and director Rupert Sanders‘ affair has become the latest place for spammers to hide malicious code in tweets, status updates, and webpages with tantalizing titles that are googlebombed to the top of search results.

In fact, according to the Norton security firm, common searches related to Snow What and the Huntsman and its cast have been returning more than 50% not simply false, but malicious results.

After hitting the top of the box office last week — and following the sisterly lovefest between its two female leads — Universal is looking into its magic mirror and seeing more Snow White and the Huntsman movies. While there is no official word yet on which of the titular stars will be returning or if Rupert Sanders will come back to direct, but we can tell you that David Koepp, who wrote the first two Jurassic Park movies, Sam Raimi‘s first Spider-Man movie, and almost everything else, has been chosen to write the sequel. Maybe Koepp’s efforts will make for something a little less, er, confusing.

Snow White and the Huntsman hasn’t hit theaters yet but like many movies these days, studios feel so confident about their product they’re willing to move ahead with a sequel before box office numbers are in. So is the case of highly-anticipated Snow White adaptation starring Kristen Stewart, Charlize Theron, and Chris Hemsworth. They’ve already chosen a screenwriter and we’re not sure which is cooler, the fact that he wrote 2002′s Spider-Man, or the fact that he wrote Jurassic Park. 

With all the positive hype surrounding Snow White and the Huntsman, we figure Disney must be kicking themselves. Why? The director, Rupert Sanders, went to Disney with the film idea first. And they turned him down. 

It’s not very often that a trailer for something makes you completely rethink the movie it’s advertising. We’ll admit, we were a little wary of Snow White and the Huntsman at first, especially when Kristen Stewart was cast as this apparent “warrior” Snow White. But wow. Kristen Stewart is a warrior Snow White. And Charlize Theron is a terrifying evil queen. Terrifying. The trailer, after the jump.

Mirror Mirror may be hitting theaters first but the Snow White film I’m most excited for is Snow White and the Huntsman from director Rupert Sanders. We’ll be seeing a new trailer for the Kristen Stewart, Chris Hemsworth, Charlize Theron movie next week apparently, but until then, we’ve got four behind-the-scenes featurettes to keep you satisfied.