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  1. In Sext Adventure, a Sexting Robot Doesn’t Conform to Your Human Notions of Gender

    "You receive a sext. Are you DTF? Y/N:"

    Can a robot love? The world may never know, but we do know it can sext, thanks to Sext Adventure. Created by Kara Stone and developed by Nadine Lessio, Sext Adventure is a game that is played entirely within text messages on your phone. The bot on the other end takes you through a sexting narrative based on how you respond to it in the style of old school text adventure games—like talking to SmarterChild, but with more racy photos.

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  2. “MacGyver” Robots Use Their Environment to Solve Problems, Lack Mullets

    This is the perfect setup for a MacGyver reboot, Hollywood. Just saying.

    MacGyver was ahead of his time. So ahead, in fact, that robots of the future are being built based on him. Kind of. A video submission was made to the IEEE International Conference on Robotics and Automation with the title "Robots Using Environment Objects as Tools: The ‘MacGyver’ Paradigm for Mobile Manipulation." If you'll excuse me, I have to write a treatment for a MacGyver vs. Mecha-MacGyver script.

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  3. The Associated Press Will Soon Use Robots to Write Stories

    "01101000 01100101 01101100 01101100 01101111 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101100 01100100," wrote the robots in a statement.

    Greetings human—I mean, hey, did you know that robots have learned how to write? And I don't mean they can print out words that someone else wrote; they can now literally produce fact-based news writing all on their own, and the Associated Press will soon have them doing just that.

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  4. Sperm Donation Goes Hands-Free With the Automatic Sperm Extractor

    This is not how Terminator taught me robots would come after our unborn children.

    Yesterday, we found out that Japan had robots that are after news anchors' jobs, but today we found out there's another job robots are after: hand jobs. A Chinese hospital has introduced an automatic sperm extractor, which sounds kind of terrifying at first, but once you see it in action, it'll tickle your funny bone.

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  5. High-Tech “Origami” Folds In Oven, Kinda Like Shrinky Dinks But Way More Awesome

    It's a magical world, alright.

    I don't know about you, but when I was a kid I could not get a handle on Shrinky Dinks. Every time I popped one into the oven it would contort itself beyond all recognition. These cut-outs from MIT do the same thing when exposed to heat -- well, sort of. Instead of getting all twisted and gross, they fold themselves into awesome shapes.

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  6. Scientists Are Working On Building Electronic Skin for Robots, Because That’s a Thing They Need

    Next step: figuring out how to make "electronic skin" sound less disturbing.

    Robots in science fiction only have human-like skin when they're deliberately trying to look like us so that they can take over the world. But really, if you're a robot, you kinda want a tactile sensing organ to tell you when what you're touching is too hot or cold. That's why scientists are hard at work trying to create something for that.

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  7. Build-Your-Own-Robot Kit Will Be Available Commercially By the End of the Year

    Next Holiday Season will be crazy, y'all.

    By the end of 2014, Intel says everyone and their dog will be able to buy a kit to build their own 3-D printed robot. The package will start at $1,600 -- a relatively small price to assemble your own ally for the inevitable uprising.

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  8. Robot Gymnast Isn’t the Superstar We Thought In This Blooper Reel (But It’s Still Adorable)

    PHEW. So we've got a reprieve before the robopocalypse.

    Any gymnast knows you're going to fall down a lot before you perfect a jump and stick the landing. We didn't think that kind of thing applied to robots, but apparently it does. That's good, because we were pretty worried that Hinametatu's bot was going to put all those Olympic athletes out of a job. Luckily it's still got some kinks to work out.

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  9. A Student-Made Robot Threw the First Pitch at a Baseball Game Last Week

    Warning: operating system requires that peanuts and crackerjacks be acquired.

    Okay, that's it. Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof, we need to have a serious discussion about the "first pitch" of a baseball game, because it has been getting exponentially more ridiculous lately. First dinosaurs, then cats, and now robots? I fear that it's only a matter of time before Michael Jackson's hologram gets asked to throw.

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  10. Pancake Printer Is About To Revolutionize Breakfast, Brinner and Brunch

    Burn your spatulas in effigy! This is the dawn of a new day!

    Parents, weep no more over your bungled attempts at Mickey Mouse pancakes! PancakeBot is back and batter better than ever.

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