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  1. Wiccan Priestess Blesses Iowa Legislature; Legislature Responds With Ignorance and Intolerance

    In an attempt to show how diverse and inclusive Iowans are, Iowa State Rep. Liz Bennett invited Wiccan High Priestess, Deborah Maynard, to deliver the morning blessing at the Iowa Legislature this past Thursday. They've had Christians, Jews, and Muslims deliver the blessing, and Rep. Bennett has also approached Zen Buddhist leaders and others. But this was the first time in the Legislature's history that a Wiccan had been given the opportunity.

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  2. Thor’s Got A New House: Iceland Is Building the First Temples To Norse Gods They’ve Had In A Millennium

    "ANOTHER!"

    Thor, Odin, and Frigga would be very pleased by this: Iceland is building its first major temple to the Norse gods in, well, a very, very long time. Since Vikings was at its most relevant, basically.

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  3. Over 50,000 People Want Target Australia To Stop Selling the Bible, Which They Don’t Actually Sell

    Jesus wept.

    Oh well, let he who is without sin sign the first petition, am I right?

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  4. This Hella Old Book of Spells Has Finally Been Deciphered

    Somewhere, Giles is panicking.

    A 1,300 year old Egyptian text of mysterious origins, deemed "The Handbook of Ritual Power" by researchers and invoking an unknown deity addressed as "Baktiotha: lord over the nine kinds of serpents," has finally been translated. Woe upon us all.

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  5. It’s Official: The Church Of England Will Soon Appoint Women As Bishops

    Somewhere the Catholic Church is coughing nervously.

    Bishops with bob cuts and magnificent bosoms for every parish! Hooray!

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  6. Priest Receiving Texts From Demon With Apparently Great Phone Plan

    If you say Siri's name three times in the dark, all your contacts will be deleted. Truth.

    After unsuccessfully performing an exorcism on a woman he believes to be possessed, Polish Priest Marian Rajchel told The Daily Mail that the demon in question is now harassing him via text. But that's clearly ridiculous, right? Reception is way too bad in Hell.

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  7. Church of England May Soon Allow Female Bishops

    Stain glassed ceilings, your end is nigh.

    This Monday the Church of England's General Synod may pass a vote which would see the Church welcome its first female bishops by the end of the year--possible progress that Queen Elizabeth's Chaplain Rose Hudson-Wilkin says would be "seismic."

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  8. We’re Sending A Bunch Of Super-Important Cultural Artifacts To The Moon, You Know, Just In Case

    So that means they're including Pacific Rim, right?

    If you've ever watched any film set in the (not-so) distant future, you'll know that Earth is headed for a swift downfall, usually involving darkness, rain, and killer robots. To safeguard the best of our planet against our eventual slide into dystopia, we've decided to send a bunch of our important cultural artifacts to the moon. Just in case.

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  9. People Who Pray for Their Romantic Partners Are Way More Committed to Keeping Them Around

    In a related story, the sky is blue and the Pope is Catholic.

    Today in "news that's actually kind of obvious," a study published in the Journal of Family Psychology claims that people who pray for their significant others are usually more committed to them. Unless you're a female mantis, of course. Then, you're probably about to kill yours.

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  10. Neil deGrasse Tyson Will Speak During Omaha’s Pastafarian Conference

    That's some bad hat, Neil.

    Noted astrophysicist, Director of the Hayden Planetarium, and host of Cosmos Neil deGrasse Tyson will be speaking during the Omaha Pastafarian conference "Apostacon" this September. Allow us to explain what that is and why we've photoshopped a colander on Tyson's head.

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  11. Paramount Warns People That Noah May Not Be Biblically Accurate

    Yeah, I thought Hermione was only in the New Testament.

    Apparently Paramount has entirely renounced hope that Darren Aronofsky's beleaguered Bible epic Noah will be popular with Christian audiences. Yesterday the studio preempted expected religious outrage by releasing a statement warning conservatives to please not freak out, but the movie won't be 100% Biblically accurate.

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  12. The Internet Is a Gift From God, You Guys. The Pope Says So

    That God guy just has to take credit for everything, huh?

    Pope Francis has been known to say crazy things, like how he doesn't need to talk about abortion and gay marriage all the time and that non-believers just need to try to obey their conscience. Madness. Now he's saying that the Internet is a gift from God, which makes me wonder if he's ever actually been on the Internet.

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  13. Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. Draws Ire From Hindu Group

    old gods do new jobs

    Two weeks ago, Marvel's Agents of SHIELD produced an Asgardian-themed Thor: The Dark World tie in episode in which a character mused that if the Asgardian gods had turned out to be real aliens, whether other belief systems might also have extraterrestrial origin, adding "Vishnu for sure, right?" While I myself wasn't certain whether I'd forgotten some relevant detail about Hinduism since my middle school days that would make that a cleverer joke or the creators merely picked a deity name out of a hat, the Universal Society of Hinduism takes issue with the insinuation.

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  14. Yom Kippur Begins Tonight, So Atone For Your Sins With the eScapegoat

    It's okay to slaughter a goat if it's not actually real, right?

    Did you guys know that the word "scapegoat" comes from the ancient Hebrew tradition of transferring your sins to a goat and then sacrificing it as an offering during the Day of Atonement? That's probably illegal now, so if you want to celebrate Yom Kippur right, you should probably transfer your sins to this fictional Internet goat instead.

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  15. New Pope Announces Papacy Via Twitter, Enables Cruise Control for Cool

    The Holy Smoke Monster has spoken! Rather, the white smoke issuing from the Sistine Chapel announced that a new Pope has been chosen. But more importantly, the Bishop of Rome and successor of Saint Peter has returned to Twitter -- the modern-day proverbial mountain from which all things are shouted. And shout Pope Francis I does, with ALL CAPS, in tweet #1.

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  16. That Didn’t Last Long: Pope’s Twitter to Close Up Shop in Wake of Historic Resignation

    Benedict XVI, as we all know, is stepping down from the office of the Pope after nearly 600 years of no one doing that. But even more stunning -- brace yourself, Internet users! -- is the fact that the Pope is going to disconnect completely by not tweeting anymore. That's right, @pontifex will be shut down. But will anyone pick up the papal micro-blogging slack?

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  17. Does The Pope Quit in the Woods? Benedict XVI Resigns, Here’s What Happens Now

    Pope Benedict VXI has shocked the world by resigning this morning, citing the ravages of age and poor health that, he feels have begun to prevent him from carrying out the duties of the office. While the office of Pope is not necessarily a lifetime appointment, stepping down from the post is exceedingly rare, and has been unheard of for the last 600 years.  The 85-year-old pontiff will continue poping it up -- the technical term for serving as Holy Father of the Catholic Church -- until the end of the month, while the College of Cardinals convenes to find his successor. Here's how they'll do it.

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  18. According To Census, Star Wars’ Jedi Religion Is Most Popular Alternative Faith In England

    May The Force Be With You

    If you're a devoted Star Wars fan, you might want to consider moving to England. That is, if you don't already reside there. A census shows the Jedi faith is strong there.

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  19. Pope Benedict XVI Starts Tweeting, Doesn’t Quite Know What He’s Doing

    The entire Twitter community felt the holy vibes this morning when Pope Benedict XVI began tweeting in earnest on his once languid network profile. Within minutes, pious devotees, critics, and people who couldn't pass up the opportunity to crack a topical joke swarmed His Holiness' profile to communicate with Pope Benedict XVI directly. Tweeting under the moniker @Pontifex -- which is Latin for "bridge builder," but sounds more like the name of a dragon from Skyrim -- the Pope is dishing out the blessings and words of wisdom in 140 characters or less, but based on his tweets, it looks like there's a going to be a bit of a learning curve.

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  20. Anti-Choice Group Plans to Exorcise Empty Abortion Clinic

    what is this I don't even

    I mean, considering some of the things anti-choice groups sometimes do out side of abortion clinics, yelling, shaming, getting in personal space, this could be worse. 40 Days of Life, the anti-choice group that is sponsoring the exorcism, has recently been accused of even filming people walking in and out of a London clinic they were picketing, which, if used in the right way, constitutes a pretty awful breach of privacy. They maintain they had the cameras on to film people who were insulting them, as they were there "to pray and to show there is love in the community out there." A representative from the clinic said their protest was "on a scale we haven't seen before." But most recently the organization has planned to exorcise an Ohio abortion clinic. On a Sunday. Which, like I said, is probably better than picketing it, because this particular clinic is closed on Sundays and no one will be there.

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