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  1. Things We Saw Today: Falkor Is The Tastiest Luck Dragon In All Of Fantasia

    Cake? Did somebody say cake?

    If you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to some sugar about my nostalgia.

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  2. Reddit Mod: Stolen Nude Photos Got Reddit Enough Money to Power Its Servers for a Month

    #Celebgate is the gift that keeps on giving... us nausea.

    The last bit of news we shared with you about those stolen nude celeb photos was actually pretty good, as far as news about this subject goes: The art gallery that was going to display them decided not to, in part because "People were identifying with Jennifer Lawrence’s and Kate Upton’s victimization, much more than [the artist] had anticipated." "Wait. You mean people are calling me out for being awful here? Whoops." Speaking of awful: Reddit making money off the stolen photos.

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  3. Today the Internet Bands Together to Institute Fake “Slow Lanes” and Fight for Net Neutrality

    Damn the man. Save the Internet.

    When you head to your favorite websites today, you may notice some annoying popup graphics. Before you roll your eyes and click the little X, take a moment to note that these are not ads—they're pleas to help save the Internet from the death of net neutrality, and you can help.

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  4. Creator Of Celebrity Nude Reddit Section Boo-Hoos Over Invasion Of His Privacy

    Careful! If you roll your eyes too hard they'll fall out of your head!

    Yesterday the human backwash that started TheFappening subreddit devoted to sharing nude photographs stolen from female celebrities hosted an "Ask Me Anything" to apologize for his egregiously shitty invasion of women's privacy whine over imagined free speech violations in an attempt to extend his fifteen minutes of Internet shame fame.

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  5. Man Posts Parks & Rec Set Visit Pics to Reddit, Finds Out His Grandma’s a Fellow “Reddit Person”

    A Reddit post that won't make you want to throw things!

    We've been hearing a lot of not-so-positive things out of Reddit lately, so it's nice to be able to start off the week on a more positive note. Beware: Your heart might grow three sizes.

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  6. Celebrity Photo Subreddits Banned In The Wake Of Last Week’s Theft

    Welcome to our continuing coverage of "The Worst Month On The Internet."

    A brief refresher, for those of you just now tuning into this ugly mess: Last week, nearly two hundred personal photos (many of them nude) were stolen from dozens of celebrities' iCloud accounts. The photos made their way to Reddit, where they gained particular traction in a subreddit known as "The Fappening." Yesterday, this particular subreddit -- as well as a number of related subs -- was banned.

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  7. Charity Rejects Donation From Scumbag Redditors Feeling Guilty About Posting Nude Celeb Photos [Update: Two Charities]

    HAH-ha! You're still assholes!

    This whole thing with nude photos of dozens of celebrities being stolen and distributed for any jackass with an Internet connection to ogle has been a wretched hive of scum and villainy from start to finish. But this is one update—just one—that makes me smile.

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  8. Brain Orgasms, Spidey Sense, and Bob Ross: A Look Inside The World Of ASMR

    Oh, such a good scientific mystery!

    Since discovering the scientifically controversial but definitely awesome phenomenon known as ASMR, my life (and my browser history) has changed drastically. So why don’t more people know what I’m talking about?

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  9. Woman Discovers Husband, Father of Her Unborn Child, Is A Disgusting Internet Troll

    I need to go take a scalding hot shower now.

    OOF. Awful. And any and all words connoting soul-crushing despair. In a post on Reddit, a woman who goes by the handle whatanasssss recounts how she found out her husband of six years is a "really fucking nasty" troll who preys on people on Reddit and Tumblr. And that's just the start. Warning for some foul (troll-like) language below.

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  10. Sean Bean Talks Dragonriders of Pern, Ned Stark, Burying A Bear With Nicolas Cage

    That is not a euphemism.

    Earlier this afternoon Sean Bean got on the Horn of Gondor took to Reddit for his first-ever Ask Me Anything to discuss past roles, his new show Legends, and what happens when Nicolas Cage gets inebriated around bear skulls. Onto that last item first.

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