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  1. Breaking Bad‘s Creator Wants Everyone to Stop Throwing Pizza on Walter White’s Roof


    Throwing pizza on someone else's roof is bad. 1. Those people don't want to have to clean your pizza off of their roof. It is not a trash can. 2. You are WASTING PIZZA. 3. You should probably stop killing people and dealing drugs.

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  2. It Gets Weirder: Turns Out That DOMino’s Pizza Ad Wasn’t “Authorized”

    Someone's going to get a spanking for this.

    Jill would like you all to know that when she first saw this tweet, she thought Domino's was doubling down and making a badly worded joke about dom-style punishment. Turns out, that's not really their thing after all!

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  3. Behold the Pizza Condom. Caution: Hot!

    I'll take mine with extra sausage.

    The pizza condom perfectly combines the two greatest things in the world: pizza and safety. Wait, what did you think I meant?

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  4. Ad for Domino’s Sriracha Pizza Features Your Tongue in Full Bondage Gear, Has Implications

    Holy f***. Sweet mother of all...Cheese.

    Hey thanks, Domino's! I hadn't thought about being penetrated by a pizza even once yet today!

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  5. Study Says Kids Have Unhealthy Pizza Habits; We Blame Those Blasted Turtles

    Pizza! I need it!

    You just said the magic word!

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  6. December 5, 2014: The Day I Made Pizza Hut Cry

    I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

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  7. Things We Saw Today: Bedding For A Pizzaful Night’s Sleep

    A person in the streets, but a pizza in the sheets.

    This bedding will run you $65-80 over on Incredible Things, but that seems a fair price to lie every night with one's true love.

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  8. The American Chemical Society Explains The Delicious Science Behind Pizza’s Mouthfeel

    See you guys later. I need to do some "research."

    I have it on good authority that pizza is made from Chris Evans kisses and God’s daydreams, but the American Chemical Society has another (slightly more credible) explanation. 

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  9. Pizza Hut Has Introduced A BOOK IT Alumni Program For Adults


    Pizza Hut is celebrating 30 years of their "BOOK IT" program. WHAT? Crazy, I know. But that means those of us who remember it fondly get a free pizza. AND YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE TO READ ANY BOOKS! Wait...I actually liked that part!

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  10. How to Measure the Speed of Light With Pizza at Home and Other Important Pizza Science

    But can science explain why anyone would put a pizza in the microwave?

    This video will teach you all about pizza science and using amateur methods like folding to decrease the flop ratio (scientific term) of your pizza. Too bad everyone knows that expert pizza eaters just put one slice on top of the other like a sandwich for maximum pizza intake.

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