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  1. Salem, Oregon and Rachel Maddow Unite Against Local Hat-Stealing Crime Owl

    Put a bird on it in jail.

    Local papers are calling the bird "Owlcapone." I'm done here.

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  2. Cats Are Not Enough: Japan Now Has Cafes for Domesticated Owls

    Owl have what she's having.

    Owl cafe: the cat cafe's natural predator.

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  3. Thousands of Snowy Owls Are Migrating to Florida Because It’s Too Cold in Canada

    It's definitely not because they want to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando. Nope.

    Snowy owls tend to stick to parts of the continent that are, y'know, snowy — but anything goes in this weird post-polar vortex world of ours, and now there are reports of snowy owl sightings as far south as Florida. That's right, it's too cold in Canada for animals that have the word "snow" in their names.

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  4. Screw Drones! Have Your Packages Delievered By Owls [Video]

    Or, if you have a working fireplace, a wizard can hand deliver them to you using floo powder.

    We have got to hand it to Waterstones in the UK -- their parody of Amazon Prime Air is amazingly fast on the draw, given that Bezos only announced the plan last night. It's also pretty on-point. Why should we wait for the post to read books when a respectable-looking British man is telling us that owls can fly them to us instead?

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  5. Jerk Owl Ruins Harry Potter-Themed Wedding, is Definitely Not “Owl Post” Certified

    Seriously, Hedwig would never.

    What could be more magical than a Harry Potter-themed wedding? Invitations that look like Hogwarts acceptance letters; a cake with edible snitches; Butterbeer as your signature drink; and you could use an owl as your ringbearer! Sadly for one couple, they ended up with more of an Errol than a Hedwig, and their ring exchange was pretty much ruined.

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  6. Marvel at These Mostly True Facts About the Owl [Video]

    Remember: Don't do drugs, because an owl might just rip your face off.

    How much do you actually know about owls? If I had to guess, I'd say not enough. Thankfully, Ze Frank has once again provided. All of the facts in this video at definitely and totally true, especially the part where he says, and I'm paraphrasing here, that if an owl's stealth were loudness, it'd be the loudest of the birds.

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  7. To Save the Owls, US Government Plans to Kill Over 3,000 Owls

    You'd be surprised how many problems can be solved by killing owls.

    As the old saying goes, you can't make an owl-mlette without breaking a few thousand eggs. The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service is taking this to heart, moving forward with a controversial plan to save the threatened spotted owl. Their solution? Get rid of 3,603 barred owls, a rival species that inhabits the same area of the Pacific Northwest.

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  8. Researchers Study Owls For Clues to Reducing Aircraft Noise, Making Planes More Interesting to Hipsters

    Remember when Harry Potter fans all wanted pet owls, but then realized that they are vicious winged harbingers of death? Turns out they're also silent harbingers of death, and new research is examining how owls stay so quiet in flight. The goal of the study is to make modern aircraft more silent and owl-like. We suggest building an aircraft made from feathers and that runs on mice.

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  9. End of Harry Potter Marks Mass Abandonment of Pet Owls

    With the public's attention span for Harry Potter waning after the release of the final film, so too has the public's love of domesticated owls apparently. In the United Kingdom, hundreds of the birds are being abandoned by erstwhile fans while sanctuaries are filling up fast. Given that they have a habit of taking over from the local birds when released into the wild, it seems they might have a real owl-pidemic on their hands. Please forgive me for that joke.

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  10. Animals in Slow Motion: A Collection [Videos]

    Everything looks excellent in slow motion, especially animals. They are regal, proud warriors, even if they're domesticated cats and dogs catching a treat. When shot on high-speed film then played back to dramatic instrumental music, they are just the finest examples of their kind that ever existed. Behold! Animals in majestic slow motion!

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  11. Harry Potter Causing Indian Owl Crisis?

    Jairam Ramesh, Indian Environment Minister, feels the degrading wild owl population in India is because of Harry Potter fans who attempt to capture the birds as pets in order to be more like the wizardly hero. Yep.

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  12. Hungover Owls

    Today in highly focused Tumblrs: There's now a site called Hungover Owls which consists of ... well, pictures of owls that look hungover. Which apparently describes a lot of owls.

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