North Korea Nuke
I hope you like things that are scary, because an unstable regime led by an untested young man probably just detonated its latest atomic bomb. All signs this morning point to a successful nuclear bomb test in North Korea, which the country has been threatening for some weeks. The move comes in defiance of the international community -- or as they are known in North Korea, "western devils jealous of the power and virility of glorious leader Kim Jong Un" -- which had urged North Korea not to undertake what is seen by the rest of the world as a clearly provocative and threatening action, probably because it is totally meant that way by North Korea.
North Korea's nuclear ambitions are well-documented: While the country's dictatorial leader, Kim Jong-il, has recently expressed a willingness to talk about nuclear disarmament, the country has also hinted at further nuclear weapons test plans. But then: Plain old nuclear reactions have been done before; how about nuclear fusion, which has never before been sustained in laboratory conditions? And why not announce its discovery on the birthday of Kim Il-Sung, North Korea's founder and the father of Kim Jong-Il? Take it away, North Korean Workers Party newspaper: