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National Confectioners Association

  1. Frequency of Candy Consumption Not Linked to Obesity, Suggests Study Funded by Candy Lobbyist Group

    This news is much more palatable if you imagine that the candy lobby is being run by Oompa Loompas.

    According to a recently published study in Nutrition Journal, frequency of candy consumption is not linked to obesity. If that's not a shocker, they also suggest it isn't linked to other health risks such as heart disease. In related news, there is no conclusive evidence to suggest that there is any correlation between interacting with water and getting wet. Feel free to eat as many Snickers in your bathtub as you deem fit, safe in the knowledge that you are the pinnacle of health and dryness.

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  2. Fuzzy Math: How Much Halloween Candy are We Going to Give Out Tonight?

    Halloween is the best night of the year, end of story. Costumes are applied, tricks are played, horror movies are snuggled up in front of, but most importantly, children will go door to door adorably threatening to start doing property damage unless their demands for a sugary ransom are met swiftly and surely. Whatever else happens tonight, from ice storms to hurricanes to the raising of the dead, kids are going to get a lot of candy from people just like you. How much, exactly, though? Well, we don't know precisely how much candy we'll give kids tonight, but we've run some numbers on this matter, and you can find our conclusions after the jump.

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