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No. No no no no no no no. no.

Finnish Police Confiscate 9-Year-Old Girl’s Laptop Because Piracy

Seriously, Finland? We understand that Internet piracy is a problem, but this is just too much. Police raided the home of a nine-year-old girl and confiscated her laptop — her Winnie the Pooh laptop – because she was accused of downloading one song off The Pirate Bay. That really happened. We all live in this world now.

Back in the spring of this year, the parents of the little girl were told their Internet connection had been used in an act of online piracy. Their daughter had come across a song she was searching for on The Pirate Bay and downloaded it. She later bought the album. The family was told to pay 600 euros for the incident and sign a non-disclosure agreement, but they refused at the time. On Tuesday, things got real when Finnish police showed up at their door with a search warrant, and took their daughter’s Winnie the Pooh laptop.

Read more of this story at


the internet is serious business

Representative Zoe Lofgren Shows Her Internet Savvy: Ask Reddit for Internet Law Suggestions

Zoe Lofgren made sure that her name echoed loudly through the hallowed halls of the internet (did you know we have halls? Yeah, like tons of halls. Acres. With pillars and junk.) a year ago during the SOPA/PIPA debates in congress, by loudly opposing it, and even engaging in a Reddit AMA, hoping to drum up some attention to the pretty alarming powers the bill gave to rights holders and the pretty alarming requirements it made of internet service providers. While I won’t say she brought the issue to Reddit’s attention in the first place, her engagement with a large and influential internet community became part of a temporary internet revolution that culminated in Wikipedia, Tumblr, Reddit, Google, and a host of other websites going completely dark or otherwise completely devoting a day to raising awareness of the bill.

She has returned to Reddit recently, at the turn of the tide to perform a rather interesting experiment:


TK-421 Why Aren't You At Your Post?

Injured By A Reckless Jedi? Call The Law Offices Of Lando Calrissian!

Yeaaah…what about all those Imperial officers who get injured in the line of duty? Who can they turn to?

(via igeektrooper)


Marvel Is Getting Sued Over Their Avengers DVD Briefcase Set

I don’t know about you but I wouldn’t mess with Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. but a German luggage company is about to step up to the main man in a big way. The company, Rimowa GmbH, is suing Marvel and owner Disney’s Buena Vista Home Entertainment. Why? See that magnificent DVD case above? That’s one of Rimowa GmbH’s designs. We know that for sure because they allowed Marvel to let Samuel L. Jackson carry it in The Avengers. What they didn’t do was allow Marvel to mass produce and sell it. Oops. 


Today in things that make us scream incoherently

Female Lawmakers Indefinitely Banned From Michigan House of Representatives for Saying, Apparently, “No Means No”

Earlier this week the Michigan House of Representatives passed a bill that would criminalize abortions in pregnancies older than 20 weeks in all cases including incest, rape, and severe birth defects, leaving exception only for the physical health of the mother; make it a crime to coerce a woman into having an abortion (but not, of course, to coerce a woman out of having an abortion, coercion is fine, apparently, if it’s going in the right direction); would limit access to abortion to women who are able to find the time, money, and transportation to have their doctor present for the procedure regardless of whether they are having surgery or simply being prescribed abortion-inducing medication; would require doctors who perform abortions to foot hundreds of thousands of dollars more in malpractice insurance costs in order to do so legally; and would require abortion clinics to maintain a surgical outpatient facility regardless of whether they provide surgical abortions, an unnecessary cost and effort that would force most uncomplying clinics to close. It’s being called the nations worst anti-abortion bill, which, unfortunately, is quite the claim to fame at the moment.

But before the bill passed, Lisa Brown (right) and Barb Byrum (left) were among the members of the House minority party (Democrat) who spoke against it, and, for their responses to the bill, both women have been indefinitely banned by the House Majority Leader from speaking on the floor of the Michigan House of Representatives initially without official explanation. And naturally, since it was without explanation, theories have run rampant this week.



Update: First Lady Michelle Obama Sponsors Nuclear Submarine USS Illinois

UPDATE: The Hill has since updated its post to say that they were mistaken in reporting that the USS Illinois would be crewed only by women. The Hill left unclear whether this mistake was made completely erroneously or because the Illinois would have more than the usual opportunities for seawomen seeking posts on nuclear submarines. Please enjoy the rest of this post, which is still otherwise about factual gender opportunities or lack-thereof in the U.S. armed forces and Command Sgt. Maj. Jane Baldwin and Col. Ellen Haring’s lawsuit against the mandates that restrict them.

Nuclear submarines have been some of the last holdouts in co-ed military integration worldwide. Long deployments and superlatively cramped and mostly communal living spaces kept most navies from being comfortable with bunking men and women together. The strict economy of space has kept separate bathrooms and sleeping quarters low on the priority list of technological innovations for new submarine classes.

However, in the past year or so, the United States increased the categories of women allowed to set foot on submarines from “female civilian technicians for a few days at most; women midshipmen on an overnight during summer training for both Navy ROTC and Naval Academy; [and] family members for one-day dependent cruises,” to allow women to serve in certain cases. But yesterday, Memorial Day, First Lady Michelle Obama sponsored and announced the creation of the USS Illinois, a Virginia-class nuclear sub that will, when it enteres the Navy fleet in 2015, be crewed by women, exclusively.


Assuming Direct Control

The Pentagon Snubbed The Avengers Because They Didn’t Know Who Was in Charge — Them or S.H.I.E.L.D.

The American military is generally pretty cool with cooperating with Hollywood on making military stories look as authentic as possible (while still making the military look honorable). And while they have lent their expertise and image to many fantastical kinds of movies — including Marvel‘s Iron Man — there was just something bugging them about where they fell in the food chain in The Avengers. Namely, were they going to have to answer to the director of S.H.I.E.L.D., Nick Fury? Because apparently, this was unclear, and the military brass were not cool with that. And that’s why the highest level of “official” crimefighting came from the New York National Guard.


the internet is serious business

Court Ruling Says Liking Something on Facebook Not Free Speech, Therefore You Can Totally Be Fired For It

Stories like this make me feel, more than ever, that I’m living in a cyberpunk world. The genre is generally about a crappy future, not a shiny future. For example, in the year 2012 we aren’t sailing through space trying to decide whether robots should be considered citizens, we’re trying to figure out whether or not clicking buttons on the internet should be protected free speech.

According to U.S. District Judge Raymond Jackson, it isn’t.


Real Or Not Real?

The Hunger Games‘ President Snow Convicted of Crimes Against Humanity in Student Mock Trial

If you read The Hunger Games hoping that the tyrannical President Snow would eventually be subject to some serious comeuppance, you are not alone. But would you take the steps necessary to hold a trial and convict him of his various crimes against the people of Panem? That’s exactly what a group of kids did on Take Your Child to Work Day in Broward County, Florida. On a field trip to the Broward County Courthouse, one group of kids took a trip to the local courthouse and held a mock trial against President Snow, acted as the jurors, and found him guilty, providing an alternate version of, well, we won’t spoil it for you.


Things We Saw Today

Things We Saw Today: The Hungry Hungry Games

May the tiny white plastic marbles be ever in your favor. (Fashionably Geek)