We love a good heist story here at Geekosystem. We even love ridiculous heist stories, which is good, because this story is exactly that -- Ridiculous. Two men in Australia have been arrested after tunneling into a KFC and holding it up, making off with thousands of dollars, and we assume the Colonel's secret recipe. That's silly enough, but the pair was actually trying to tunnel into the adjacent jewelry store. Better still, this marks their third unsuccessful attempt at robbing that same jewelry store. They're persistence is admirable, even if their burglary skills are somewhat lacking.
As The Smoking Gun points out, law enforcement agencies occasionally put fake mugshots into their online systems for training purposes, which is probably why KFC's infamous Double Down was found within Florida's Escambia County Sheriff's Office's online database of offenders. Everyone be careful, because this ruthless, 41-year-old criminal was released earlier today at 9:22 in the morning.
(via The Smoking Gun)
Casting sensitive geeks: Choose-Your-Own-Adventure edition (Vulture) The coolest painted video game consoles (Buzzfeed) Will the Vermontasaurus go extinct? (Neatorama) KFC losing gamble on Double Down chicken sandwich (WalletPop) 10 minor Star Wars characters with completely unnecessary backstories (Topless Robot) A Q&A with the Creator of "I Write Like": "The Algorithm is Not a Rocket Science" (The Awl) The biggest lies people tell in online dating (OK Cupid) (title image via Reddit)
My name is Scott, and last night I ate a KFC Double Down sandwich.
The Double Down, for those of you fortunate enough to be unaware, is a "sandwich" consisting of bacon, Monterey Jack cheese, pepper jack cheese, and the Colonel's Double Secret Probation Sauce. However, instead of using bread, they pack all that between two boneless chicken strips. All our favorite barnyard byproducts -- chicken, pig, and cow -- together at long last in beautiful, artery-clogging harmony.
They call it a sandwich, but that is a misnomer. Sandwiches use bread as a substrate. In fact, the first sentence of Wikipedia's Sandwich states, "A sandwich is a food item consisting of two or more slices of bread with one or more fillings between them." But the Double Down, my friends, is not a sandwich. It's something entirely different, requiring a name that truly expresses the contrivance. I choose to call it a "meatheap."
The very first time I heard about this meatheap, I honestly thought it was a joke. Some half-cocked viral marketing scheme cooked up by hip young ad agencies trying to make waves on the interblogoTwitFace. But then I heard about the test markets in Nebraska and Rhode Island, where people were actually buying and consuming these things. I knew at that moment -- somehow, someday -- I would consume a Double Down Sandwich Meatheap.
I've always had something of a penchant for test-driving awful fast food products. I generally find they manifest themselves as burgers with a few extra iterations of the meat-cheese-bacon loop (see the Burger King Quad Stacker and the Wendy's Triple Baconator for examples of what I've shoveled into my gullet over the years.) But the Double Down struck me as something more... exotic. It was fresh and new and exciting and something I MUST HAVE RIGHT NOW.
Today, KFC announced that the Double Down Sandwich -- which consists of bacon and cheese sandwiched between two pieces of fried chicken -- is going to be available nationwide starting on April 12th. Below, our thoughts on what the KFC Double Down Sandwich means to us -- and why it infantilizes the sandwich as we know it. Read this article for further context.
Danny O'Brien does a very good job of explaining why I'm completely uninterested in buying a KFC Double Down Sandwich -- it really feels like the second coming of the Famous Bowl "revolution" in which "nutrition" people proclaimed that they were going to remake food by producing expensive (to make and to buy) products.