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KCNA

  1. North Korea Probably Detonated A Nuke This Morning — Here’s What’s Different This Time

    I hope you like things that are scary, because an unstable regime led by an untested young man probably just detonated its latest atomic bomb. All signs this morning point to a successful nuclear bomb test in North Korea, which the country has been threatening for some weeks. The move comes in defiance of the international community -- or as they are known in North Korea, "western devils jealous of the power and virility of glorious leader Kim Jong Un" -- which had urged North Korea not to undertake what is seen by the rest of the world as a clearly provocative and threatening action, probably because it is totally meant that way by North Korea.

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  2. North Korea: It’s Got What Plants Crave

    According to - we'd like to point out that this bit of news is not from, say, some weird!news aggregator, but, in fact - the BBC, North Korea has developed a liquid panacea. A "super drink." Made of "microelements." Which makes you smarter, whitens your skin, and keeps you from looking old. It also has no side effects.

    We wish we were making this up.

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