by Jill Pantozzi | 2:45 pm, March 26th, 2013
by Susana Polo | 11:44 am, March 19th, 2013
Pictured here: Jeremy Renner trying to figure out whether he has to be in this or if he can go back to making movies that the producing studio doesn’t hate.
Look, I’m well aware that there are fans of Hansel and Gretel out there, and I would never denigrate anybody who loves an mostly inoffensive flop. In fact, I was actively hoping that H&G would wind up being the same kind of lovable camp as Van Helsing. According to my usual sources, however, it wasn’t. Additionally, it made a very paltry American box office. So why has Paramount put a sequel into development?READ MORE
by Rebecca Pahle | 12:30 pm, February 6th, 2013
If the show gets attacked by aliens, don’t worry, they’ll take care of it. It might take them a little longer than normal, though, because Black Widow and Thor won’t be there.
Wait, who are we kidding? Black Widow’s totally doing her incognito spy thing in the audience. And Thor will bust through the ceiling if Loki decides to put in an appearance.READ MORE
by Zoe Chevat | 12:34 pm, January 28th, 2013
I know what you’re thinking. “Oh, dear God, why.” That is an excellent place to start from. Unfortunately, that’s just the start. H&G is, quite obvious to anyone who has so much as seen a billboard for it, DOA. This is not the part that is interesting; plenty of dead cinematic bodies show up in theaters every year, increasingly so in the empty, hollow months just following award-season cutoff. What is interesting is why such an obviously cold cadaver is showing up at all, even metaphorically. Such a crime of film is as apparent as any corporeal evidence; we cluster around the edges of the taped-off scene muttering amongst ourselves, ‘why, why did this happen?’
So, in the spirit of continued analogy, I am here to perform an autopsy on the long-dead corpse of Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters. This procedure is not due to a genetic lack of the “fun” gland in this anatomist’s body. On the contrary, “fun” is what Hansel & Gretel could have used a good deal more of, and what it so agonizingly lacks.
(Contained therein are a few spoilers. How much one might care about them we leave entirely to the reader’s discretion.)READ MORE
by Rebecca Pahle | 11:30 am, November 18th, 2012
Did you know that Hawk—I mean, Jeremy Renner, hosted Saturday Night Live last night? And that there was a sketch spoofing The Avengers? (Of course there was.) That sketch is above. What do you guys think? Black Widow’s sexy mugging for the camera bugged me a little bit… but then again, it’s just a comedy sketch, though not one that I think is particularly funny. (Yeah, yeah, no sense of humor, whatever. I heard his opening monologue is good; I’m waiting for it to pop up online.) Renner is good in it, though.
My vote for best line: Bill Hader-as-Thor’s “Anyone have a scrunchie?”
by Susana Polo | 4:32 pm, October 29th, 2012
A normal person might ask: Jeremy Renner. You are an Academy Award nominated actor, and fresh off the third highest grossing movie in history. What are you doing in Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters? We know: Jeremy Renner just wants us to be happy.
Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters Trailer Gives Us Our First Good Look at Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters
by Susana Polo | 3:34 pm, September 4th, 2012
We’re holding out hope that Hansel & Gretel: Witch Hunters, featuring a kickass sibling team up, will be something of a buddy cop movie… if cops were witch killers… in an over the top period fantasy piece. The characters have double billing, and after all, it’s not like they’re going to have a romantic subplot. This trailer doesn’t exactly confirm that hope, though we still hold it. Rest assured, however, that we’ll have a review up on it as close to its release date as possible.READ MORE
by Susana Polo | 9:32 am, August 21st, 2012
I’m not entirely certain that this gag reel has been placed online in any official capacity… so we’ll have to see how long this particular version remains viewable. But for now, all I can say is: Cobie Smulders for President. Mark Ruffalo and his dainty hops for vice president.
by Jill Pantozzi | 11:51 am, July 10th, 2012
Well all know Joss Whedon’s The Avengers made a boat load of cash. One might even say, a helicarrier of cash. But its stars didn’t walk away empty-handed. Even though many of the big name actors attached to the project have contracts for several films, that doesn’t mean they aren’t eligible for a raise. The one Scarlett Johansson might be getting would make her one the highest paid actress of all-time.READ MORE
by Susana Polo | 2:17 pm, May 3rd, 2012
Reuters gives us an interesting look at this summer’s blockbusters and the marketing that accompanies them. Specifically, they’re calling it a trend towards marketing action movies to women. While I’m not quite prepared to call it a trend yet because I am feeling cynical today, their article does highlight a lot of interesting coincidences, at least. Lets take a look at their argument.READ MORE