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Harvard

  1. Researchers Say Girls Drinking Soda Causes Their Periods to Start Sooner, My 15-Year-Old Self Has Contrary Evidence

    Researchers at Harvard say young girls who drink too many sugary drinks may enter puberty earlier than those who don't. But... but... I was drinking soda straight from a bar spout when I was seven, so...

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  2. Whoops, “Gravitational Waves” Big Bang Evidence May Have Just Been Dust

    There's a strong metaphor in here somewhere about the nature of the universe...

    Gravitational waves that would've formed during the Big Bang's "inflation" were theorized in 1980, but earlier this year a team announced that they'd found proof of the waves' existence, which would be strong evidence in support of the Big Bang. Since then, the discovery has faced a lot of scientific opposition, and new research shows it may have just detected dust in the wind magnetically aligned patterns.

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  3. Nearly Indestructible Inflatable Robot Crawls Its Way Into Your Nightmares

    Metroid had it right. Crawling robots are a no-no.

    Never before has a pink, squishy, crawling robot filled you with so much nope.

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  4. Massive Swarm of Tiny Robots Built To Study Collective Behavior, Haunt My Dreams

    Nope. Nope nope nope nope nopenopenopenopenope

    There are plenty of examples in the animal kingdom of a group working together to accomplish a single task, so naturally this is a behavior scientists are trying to replicate in robots. Harvard University's Kilobots (one letter away from K-I-L-L-B-O-T-S, I'm on to you, Harvard) can collectively and spontaneously replicate shapes. Watch them in action. Terrifying, nightmarish action.

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  5. Harvard Library Confirms That Yes, One of Their Books Is Totally Bound in Human Skin

    I hope it's a Nicholas Sparks novel.

    A few months ago, the Internet was abuzz with rumors that the Harvard Library has a couple of books that may or may not be bound with human flesh. Days later, the library released a report that two of the books in question are not human so we can all just calm down. Except... whoops! The third one is.

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  6. Researchers Believe the “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife” to Be No More Fake Than Other Gospels

    "And lo, Jesus was too busy making metaphors for strangers to remember my birthday."

    "The Gospel of Jesus' Wife" is a pice of papyrus that contains controversial statements about—you guessed it—Jesus' wife. It says things like, "Jesus said to them, My wife... she is able to be my disciple..." and probably a lot about how he's always out boozing it up on water-wine with his 12 buddies. Now there's research showing its authenticity.

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  7. Hey, One of the Harvard Human Skin-Bound Books Isn’t Human Skin After All!

    So... wait, but what about the other two?

    So you know how Harvard's had some anthropodemic-bound books in their libraries for the past couple of years? Brand new information from the university was published yesterday suggesting that one of those three books is actually bound in sheepskin. Oh, good! That's much less viscerally horrific. You know, unless you're a sheep.

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  8. So Harvard Miiiight Have a Couple of Books in Their Library That Are Bound With Human Flesh

    I mean, only three. That's not so bad, right?

    Hey, so you know how flesh is a thing that's normally supposed to be attached to your body? And you know how fancy books are usually bound in leather, which is dried flesh from other animals that aren't human? Yeah, we're pretty sure you know where we're going with this. We don't like it, either.

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  9. Relax, MIT and Harvard Scientists Did Not Build a Lightsaber

    We find your lack of accuracy... disturbing.

    A team of physicists from MIT and Harvard have created a new form of matter by binding photons into molecules. The team compared the way these new molecules interact to lightsabers, and the Internet went bonkers. Pump the brakes, everyone. They have not created a lightsaber. Here's what happened.

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  10. Bill Gates Admits That Control+Alt+Delete Was A Big Mistake

    Next maybe he'll have something to say about the blue screen of death.

    The "three finger salute" of Control+Alt+Delete has been a part of Microsoft lore since it was first put into the Acorn computers in 1981 by developer David Bradley. It's also used to log in to Windows 7 and below, which annoys users to this day. Gates is real sorry about that, as it turns out.

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