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  1. Just In Time To Ruin Easter: Jelly Bean Milk and Springtime Eggnog

    Where did they find these cows? In a dream?

    Easter is a confusing holiday, guys. As if religion and a bunny who hides chicken eggs aren't complicated enough, apparently there's also a veritable cornucopia of truly weird seasonal dairy drinks to guzzle in celebration. Most alarming? Jellybean Milk and Easter Nog.

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  2. Pre-Raphaelite Painters Used Ground up Humans and Cats to Make “Mummy Brown”

    I bet they wish they'd kept this...under wraps.

    If you're a fan of paintings from the 1800s through the 1960s, you've probably admired a highly-prized shade of paint called "Mummy Brown." Why the macabre name, you ask? Oh, no reason, just the ancient cat and human corpses used in its composition. Guys, now I'm worried...what's in my Bitches Brew nail polish? What?

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  3. Music Video About Sexing Mythical Creatures Is Strangely Beautiful

    Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them? Getting their bone on, apparently.

    Sharing intimate moments with a mythical beast (note: not an acceptable nickname for any part of the anatomy) can cause bigger problems than a pregnancy or STD. This tragic animated music video from miracleofsound is like the Ballad of Jack and Rose, but if Rose spent way more time waiting for goats under bridges, and Jack became someone's dinner.

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  4. Innovative Dad Pulls Son’s Baby Tooth Using Flying Drone [Video]

    Just wait until your wisdom teeth come in, boy.

    Apparently the "slamming door" method was just too boring for Malcolm Swan and his brave son, Adam. Instead, the pair removed Adam's baby tooth the good old fashioned way—by tying it to a DJI Phantom Quadcopter and then letting the drone rip. Sadly, Adam's tooth was never recovered, but I think the Tooth Fairy will still pay up.

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  5. How To Poo On A Date Wins Award For Weirdest Book Title

    I guess He's Just Not That Into Poo was taken.

    Matt and Enzo's comprehensive guide to the romance of defecation may be all about number two, but as far as awards go the pair is number one: How To Poo On A Date was recently awarded the 36th Annual Diagram Prize, proving definitively that they're the shit.

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  6. Chicken Embryo Found in Soup, Campbell’s Sends Fed Ex to Pick It Up

    Why didn't I get one?

    Here, allow me to validate every food-based fear you've ever been told was illogical: a Colorado woman recently discovered an amorphous beaky creature in a can of Campbell's Chicken Noodle Soup.

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  7. BroApp Will Outsource Actually Caring About Your Girlfriend, Because Who Wants to Do That?

    Fake love letters were not exactly the part of Her we were hoping to get in real life.

    The jury is still out on whether BroApp is a serious thing intended for bros to actually use or a parody, but it certainly is a thing you can download on your phone right now and use if you're a massive sociopath. Yes, you really can get an app that will automatically send messages to someone you'd like to appear to care about.

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  8. Gross, Internet. There’s Now an App for Betting on Friends’ Relationships Through Facebook

    This is why we can't have nice things.

    You know what we needed in a world where people can already find out way too much about us? An app that lets us bet on whether or not our Facebook friends' relationships will last. Thanks, Forever|NOT. Now, cynics have an easy platform to pass judgment on other people, which I guess isn't surprising, since that basically describes the Internet.

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  9. Just in Time to Ruin Valentine’s Day, Here’s a Horrifying GIF of What a Kiss Looks Like From Inside Your Gross Mouth

    Humans are disgusting.

    Ugh. Gross. I think deep down we all know kissing is at best a little gross, but we just kind of accept it because, well, it's fun. But the view from inside your mouth while you do it is some next-level stuff.

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  10. Firefighter Pours Out Two Bootfuls of Sweat After F-16 Crash [Video]

    Fire is hot, but so is the equipment brave firefighters have to wear to fight it. It's probably not a surprise to anyone that firefighters sweat under all that gear, but the volume of it is amazing. This video shows a firefighter dumping a lot of sweat from the boots of his "Level-B suit" after putting out a fire from an F-16 crash in 110 degree heat. You shouldn't be able to pour your sweat out of your shoe. Seriously. Go thank a firefighter, and will somebody please buy this guy a beer?

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