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France

  1. Pass Go, Collect Real Money in Monopoly Boxes in France for the Game’s Anniversary

    Well, Euros always kind of looked like Monopoly money anyway.

    In France, 80 boxes of Monopoly will ship with real money in addition to the fake money needed to actually play the game. It's nice of them to still include the game money, but I don't think anyone would mind if they had to go buy a second box of Monopoly to both play the game and spend their free cash.

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  2. Pro-Deliciousness Parents Banned From Naming Their Kid Nutella in France

    Somewhere, there is a child named pretzel who will never find their soul mate.

    "Nutella, by any other name... No, seriously. Could we please name this kid literally anything else?" -France, probably.

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  3. Things We Saw Today: A New Book By Kate Beaton!!!!!

    This is real life!!

    Drawn & Quarterly is publishing the follow-up to Kate Beaton's wildly-successful Hark! A Vagrant! Step Aside, Pops even features our favorite sassy velocipedestrienne on the cover. (via LA Times)

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  4. Attack on Offices of Satirical Magazine Leaves French Cartoonist Community Bereft

    Many folks on this side of the Atlantic woke up this morning to news of a violent attack on Charlie Hebdo, a satirical newspaper with offices in Paris.

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  5. MEAT CUTE: French Farmer Starts Online Dating Site for Cows

    We also would have accepted "OK Moo-cud."

    Where's the beef?

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  6. British Inventor Builds Giant Fart Machine, Will Point It at France

    Technically it's a pulse jet, but let's call a fart machine a fart machine.

    British inventor Colin Furze is building a gigantic fart machine and fake butt to put it behind so that he can point it at France. Why? I've reached out in an email asking exactly that, but have not had a response yet. For now let's just work under the assumption that it's because farts are funny, so giant farts should be even funnier.

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  7. France Is Spending $4.2 Million to Save Endangered Hamsters

    Wow, tiny burritos are expensive these days.

    If there's one privilege that Americans take for granted, it's our abundance of hamsters. France is spending $4.2 million on preservation efforts to save the Great Hamster of Alsace (not pictured)—enough money to buy a lot of shredded newspapers and exercise wheels if that was a thing the wild rodents actually needed.

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  8. France Bans Work Emails During Non-Working Hours, What Will French Workers Compulsively Check Now?

    As long as no one bans non-work emails during working hours, we'll be OK.

    Working in France has some pretty great perks like several weeks of required vacation time and a 35-hour work week (though they've relaxed restrictions on exceeding that limit a bit in recent years). Well, they're going even further to protect their work/life balance by banning work-related email activity after working hours.

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  9. Samuel L. Jackson (as Nick Fury) Is Not Impressed With Captain France in Winter Soldier International Marketing

    Samuel L. Jackson is contractually required to drop one F-bomb per appearance.

    Hey, guys, come on, those are some pretty tired stereotypes—what? Oh, this is from a French show called Le Grand Journal? Nevermind, this is awesome self-deprecating humor. Way to go, France. Still, the absolute best part of this is watching Samuel L. Jackson's reactions. I don't think he had to dig too deep for the disapproving looks.

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  10. The French Just Successfully Implanted A Long-Term Artificial Human Heart

    There's a joke about smoking and French cuisine in here somewhere.

    We are one step closer to fulfilling everyone's greatest dream/fear: becoming a terrifying race of immortal cyborgs! French biomedical firm Carmat has successfully implanted its prototype artificial human heart, and the patient is alive and kicking.

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  11. Pinhole Camera Turns Empty Apartments Into Surreal, Upside-down Cityscapes [Video]

    I could watch this all day.

    Today in really awesome things, photographers Romain Alary and Antoine Levi create amazing works of visual art by setting up a camera obscura to pick up outdoor scenes and project them upside-down in empty indoor spaces. This video depicts a Parisian apartment, and it's basically the prettiest thing to come out of France since Marion Cotillard started an international career.

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  12. Crime-Plagued French City Asks For Help From Batman

    The hero Marseille deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

    France's second-biggest city, Marseille, has been plagued with gang crime for months, and the problem is only getting worse. With the police seemingly incapable of bringing law and order to the streets, Marseille residents have reacted in the only reasonable manner available to them -- they've called for help from Batman.

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  13. Man Builds Functional Boeing 737 Cockpit in His Son’s Room, Because It’s Not Like Anyone Uses It

    Not pictured: His son, crying that he just wants to go to sleep.

    Laurent Aigon really likes airplanes. He grew up living almost 700 feet away from an airport and playing Flight Simulator constantly, but somehow his obsession never amounted to anything -- until he decided to build an exact replica of an airplane cockpit in his home, just inches from his son's bed. Seriously, in your kid's room? You can't do that on the balcony, buddy?

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  14. Gang of Feral French Cats Attack Woman and Pet Poodle

    Faster, pussycat! Kill! Kill! Spay and neuter your pets, folks.

    France isn't all it's cracked up to be. Sure, it's full of gorgeous art, rich cuisine, and basically all the wine you can drink, but stray too far outside city limits, and you run the risk of falling prey to terrifyingly vicious beasts. Like, you know that scene in Beauty and the Beast where they're all attacked by wolves? Imagine that happening to you but with cats. Seriously.

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  15. Later Retirement Could Lower Risk of Dementia, So Maybe Put That Off a Few Years

    Mental and social stimulation from work could reduce decline in cognitive functions

    It might feel like work is killing you, but it's also giving your brain mental exercise that could help keep you sharp in the future. A wide-ranging study from France has found that those who retired later had a lower risk of developing dementia, the condition of mental deterioration whose leading cause is Alzheimer's disease. These new findings are consistent with past studies that have discovered the importance of keeping the brain active in order to reduce the risk of cognition-related disorders in old age.

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  16. Woman Marries 600-Year-Old Bridge in Southern France, Jilted Troll Presumably Very Upset

    I'm just assuming that every bridge in Europe has a resident troll.

    Australian artist Jodi Rose is really into bridges -- so much so that she's spent the past decade travelling all over the world recording the vibrations in bridge cables and incorporating the sounds into her "Singing Bridges" music project. Apparently she enjoyed Le Pont du Diable's song most of all because on the 17th of June, she held an intimate marriage ceremony where she and the 600-year-old French bridge became, well, bridge and wife. Let's hope it's an open marriage, because judging from her CV she's probably not going to stop seeing other bridges.

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  17. French File Sharing Law Claims Its First Victim

    One French citizen faces a fine of up to 600 Euros and a two week disconnection from the Internet for sharing files online.

    After sharing a file or two and ignoring warnings from the government to knock it off, an as-yet-unnamed French Internet user has become the first person fined under France's controversial 'Hadopi' law -- a statute that gives file sharers "three strikes" before swooping in with draconian measures like hefty fines and disruptions in Internet service. In addition to a fine that could be as much as 600 euros, the individual will reportedly have their Internet service cut for up to two weeks.

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  18. French Teacher Suspended for Showing Saw to Sixth-Grade Class

    Saw is probably not a good film to show 11-year-olds, and not just because of the predictable plot and hackneyed direction.

    It's that time of year again when kids are starting summer vacation and teachers just couldn't give a damn. Yesterday, we brought you the story of a fourth-grade teacher from Wisconsin who got falling down hammered while chaperoning a class field trip. Today, Europe is getting in on the action as a sixth-grade teacher in France has been suspended for putting on a viewing of Saw for a roomful of 11-year-olds. If he really wanted to watch a Cary Elwes movie that badly, it occurs to us that The Princess Bride might have saved him a lot of trouble. Also, it's a good film, unlike Saw.

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  19. French Intelligence Forces Volunteer Sysop to Delete Wikipedia Article

    In what seems like something straight out of an updated version of 1984, the Direction Centrale du Renseignement Intérieur, or DCRI, a French intelligence agency, apparently recently summoned and subsequently forced a Wikipedia volunteer to delete an article on the online encyclopedia. This came after the agency first attempted to get Wikimedia France to remove what it considered classified information from an article about a French military compound in March. They declined to remove the offending bits, so DCRI took more drastic measures.

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  20. France Could Fine Twitter $1,300 Per Day If It Doesn’t Name Noms

    As if replacing the word "hashtag" with their own French word "mot-dièse" wasn't enough, France could soon begin charging Twitter fines of $1,300 per day if they don't comply with a new court ruling. The ruling by a civil court in Paris says that Twitter must release the names of users who tweeted anti-Semitic remarks and images using the hashtag mot-dièse #UnBonJuif. That translates to "a good Jew," and the Union of French Jewish Students wants to prosecute, but Twitter refuses to turn over the names.

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