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food

  1. Japanese Juice Company Creates a Backpack That Feeds Tomatoes To Runners

    The rest of the world better ketchup.

    Between smart watches, fitness trackers, and tomato dispensing backpacks, wearable technology is the way to go. Yup, you read that right —if the latter is on your wish list, The Tomatan has got you covered.

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  2. Russia Now Selling Cosmonaut Cuisine in Earth-Bound Vending Machines

    Recommended by 4/5 Dr.Spacemans.

    According to Sputnik News, visitors to Moscow's All-Russian Exhibition Center can now enjoy ISS dining without ever needing to leave Earth! Y...ay?

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  3. British Farmers Claim to Have Created Onions that Don’t Cause Tears or Bad Breath

    That would make one weaksauce sigil.

    Truly we live in tepid times: according to The Telegraph, a Mr. Alastair Findlay of the Bedfordshire Growers has created a new variety of red onion designed to eliminate onion-related sobbing, bad breath, and all ensuing social anxiety. Time to find a new patron vegetable, ninjas!

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  4. Chinese Restaurant Lets Beautiful People Eat Free, Reinforces Society’s Beauty Bubble Standards

    Paging Dr. Drew.

    If you're feeling particularly self-confident, there's a restaurant that will literally subject your face to a panel of judges and if they find your face aesthetically pleasing, they'll grant you a free meal. You bubble dwellers will have to go all the way to China to get your free food, but at least your Chinese is probably as good as Jack Donaghy and Dr. Drew Baird's French.

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  5. If Spoiled Food Is Bad for Us, Why Do We Also Love It So Much?

    Because microbes help us get cultured!

    Aside from some microbes being able to kill us and some being harmless, what's the difference between "spoiled" food that we eat and the kind that we don't? It's all a matter of taste (and sometimes texture).

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  6. Watch a Pair of Stupid Americans Try The Foods of Doctor Who

    Spoiler alert: DO NOT EAT FISH FINGERS AND CUSTARD.

    Join two "stupid Americans" as they try out various foods talked about in Doctor Who, including Jammie Dodges, Jelly Babies, porridge with salt, and, of course, fish fingers and custard.

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  7. Things We Saw Today: One Person Cosplays Every Johnny Depp Character Because Why Not?

    Captain Ichabod Scissorhands at your service.

    Somebody went to incredibly great lengths to get all the costume pieces together to cosplay as every Johnny Depp character. At least that difficulty was probably balanced out by the fact that 90% of them are basically the same. *Ducks and covers.*

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  8. Man Who Invented The Pringles Can Is Now Buried In One

    Top that, string cheese dude.

    Disclaimer: this story, much like the Pringles now growing beards under your couch, is a little old. But as anyone familiar with popping vs. stopping standards will understand, there is no statute of limitations on weird junk food burial news. Plus, I just really like saying "potato coffin."

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  9. Things We Saw Today: Who Just Said “Skull-Shaped Pizza Rolls”?

    It's so beautiful.

    OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD.

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  10. Japan’s Burger King Introduces “Kuro Burger” With Black Cheese, Buns, and Sauce

    ./' I see a burger and I want it painted black ./'

    God, would you get a look at the sad state of fast food products these days, with their stupid preppy yellow cheese and their red ketchup? They're such conformists. If you consider yourself beyond all that gross consumerism, then Japan's Burger King has the perfect thing for you to rebel against those other sandwich-sheeple while still getting to actually participate in gross consumerism anyway.

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