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Florida

  1. Things We Saw Today: The Hall of Lady Heroes

    NEED

    Toronto-based illustrator Scott Park created this amazing look at "80 of the most butt-kicking awesome women from tv and film." You can grab a print on Society6!

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  2. Why The “Third Boob Lady” Hoax Is Still Incredibly Compelling

    Surprise! We made a dumb internet prank about feminism.

    Yesterday the story of Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida woman who reportedly had a third breast augmented onto her body through plastic surgery, went viral all over the Internet yesterday. It's totally made up, of course. But something about Tridevil's made-up reasons for getting the made-up surgery rang surprisingly true for us.

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  3. Reminder That the Ocean Is Full of Horrors: Watch a Giant Fish Swallow a Shark

    Point made already, Qui-Gon, jeez.

    What's that, Jaws? Don't go in the water? Yeah, that's pretty solid advice when you consider that somewhere under that water are fish that can eat sharks in a single bite. I think he was trying to send these fishing humans a message: get out of my house.

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  4. Badass 9-Year-Old Wins Fight With 400-Pound Alligator, Takes Tooth as Trophy

    "You should see the other guy."

    A story that easily could have ended in tragedy last week took a surprising turn when a 9-year-old boy fought off an alligator that was actively trying to eat him. Seriously, it left a tooth behind in one of the wounds the Florida child sustained, which he's going to keep and make into a necklace as a conversation piece/get-out-of-bullying-for-life card.

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  5. Florida Adds Zombie Apocalypse Amendment, Maybe Knows Something We Don’t

    I assume it includes instructions on how to drive over to Mum's and "take care" of Phillip.

    There are hordes of undead monsters coming for your delicious brains. Where did they all come from? Who do you blame? Right: Florida. So, a Florida State Senator has added language to an existing bill that makes provisions to include a zombie apocalypse. That's good. The first step is admitting you have a problem.

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  6. Florida School Won’t Serve Kids Mountain Dew Before Tests… Anymore

    Come on, Florida. It's too early in the day for headlines like this.

    Creel Elementary School in Florida has had a long-running program to get kids excited about taking the standardized Florida Comprehensive Assessment Test. This includes urging students to sleep well the night before, wear comfy clothes, and eat a well balanced breakfast—before being served some Mountain Dew pre-test to really get them going.

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  7. Forever 21 Store in Florida Robbed by a Werewolf

    Confessions of a shopaholic: I devour vagrants by the railroad tracks when the moon is full. No one can know.

    Late last Saturday a Forever 21 in Orlando was robbed by a werewolf (or possibly a regular human wearing a mask). Luckily for the inherent comedic possibilities of this story, no customers, employees, or backless sundresses were harmed.

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  8. Tampa Police Say: Don’t Report Undercooked Waffles To 911

    It's still the most important meal of the day though

    A Florida woman dialed 911 to report being served "raw waffles," and the tape of the surreal call is now being used by Tampa Police as a lesson on when to use emergency services. Warning: although not as depressing as most 911 tapes, it'll probably make you crave some brinner.

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  9. Man Gets Hideous Spider Tattoo On His Face To Overcome His Arachnophobia

    Because that's how psychology works, I guess?

    Like many of us--myself included--Eric Rico Ortiz is scared of spiders. Luckily, the 24 year old from Florida (shocker) devised an innovative way to force himself to overcome the common phobia: by getting a massive black widow tattooed on his right cheek.

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  10. Teachers in Florida Legally Allowed to Be Drunk at Work

    I knew I should have stayed home today.

    If you want a job with a summer vacation but don't have any actual interest in children's well fare, good news! In Florida, teachers aren't legally prohibited from getting drunk on the job. Good luck, future generations of the Sunshine State, you never had a chance.

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