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England

  1. Museum Discovers New Species From Fossil They Thought Was Fake

    And bonus, hey named it after a female scientist!

    You hear stories all the time about people who come across fossils, artworks, and other historical artifacts that they think are replicas until someone figures out that they're actually real—but you don't expect that kind of thing to happen in a museum, of all places. Like, shouldn't you guys know the difference?

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  2. Accio Time-Turner: Colleges Now Offer “Study Harry Potter Abroad” Courses

    Sallie Mae Owl, this is literally the worst time.

    Did your Hogwarts Acceptance Letter get lost in the post? Did you drop out of school to pursue your Quidditch dreams, only to have your career cut short by a difficult bout of dragon pox? There's still hope!

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  3. British Inventor Builds Giant Fart Machine, Will Point It at France

    Technically it's a pulse jet, but let's call a fart machine a fart machine.

    British inventor Colin Furze is building a gigantic fart machine and fake butt to put it behind so that he can point it at France. Why? I've reached out in an email asking exactly that, but have not had a response yet. For now let's just work under the assumption that it's because farts are funny, so giant farts should be even funnier.

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  4. Church of England May Soon Allow Female Bishops

    Stain glassed ceilings, your end is nigh.

    This Monday the Church of England's General Synod may pass a vote which would see the Church welcome its first female bishops by the end of the year--possible progress that Queen Elizabeth's Chaplain Rose Hudson-Wilkin says would be "seismic."

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  5. Attention, America: The UK Has Our Sperm

    Sure, they're strong. But are they "swim the Atlantic Ocean" strong?

    If you're an American man with surplus swimmers and a cash deficit, you may be pleased to know that the sperm shortage in the UK is being tackled hands-on by many Americans--but not everyone thinks that's a good idea.

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  6. Screening of Noah Cancelled After Theater Floods

    I cannot think of A Passion of the Christ equivalent for this, and that's probably a good thing.

    Patrons of the Vue Cinema in Exeter, England were unfortunately unable to catch the first screening of Noah last Friday. But divine intervention (or a broken ice machine) still gave them plenty to talk about.

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  7. One of Queen’s Swans Found BBQed Near Windsor Castle in England

    In other news, I might be psychic.

    You ever tell somebody a weird piece of trivia you know only to have it become a weirdly viral piece of news the next day? Because yesterday in an editorial meeting I happened to mention that it's illegal to eat a swan in England because they're all technically property of the Queen, and now we're finding out that somebody tried to do just that.

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  8. Here’s What the Queen of England Would Have Said if WWIII Had Begun in 1983

    Hey, I bet we can probably repurpose this thing for a zombie apocalypse if that ever happens.

    While we now remember the 1980s through the lens of Internet nostalgia pieces and Cheers reruns, it was actually a pretty harrowing time to be alive -- but it could have been a lot worse, apparently. Speeches written for the Queen Elizabeth II in the event of a potential World War III have surfaced, and they make for surreal, terrifying reading.

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  9. Jane Austen to Appear on British Currency

    Not all that glitters is gold

    The Bank of England announced today that Jane Austen will be replacing Charles Darwin on the £10 note, making her the third woman to ever appear on British currency (other than a member of the royal family, naturally), behind Florence Nightingale and Elizabeth Fry. She's also the third artist (unless Wikipedia is steering me wrong), behind composer Edward Elgar and the Bard himself. This comes after protests that with the replacement of Elizabeth Fry with Winston Churchill, the only woman depicted on British banknotes would be the Queen. The bill also includes a quote from Pride and Prejudice, but I can imagine that it was difficult to resist making it "money is the best recipe for happiness." Previously in Jane Austen

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  10. Yes, Alan Turing Deserves a Pardon, But Not Because He Was a National Hero

    Pardoning Alan Turing is a nice thought, but it runs the risk of sending the wrong message -- that thousands of other men who suffered his same fate in Britain deserved it.

    There's a new movement gaining steam in England to officially pardon British cryptographer and godfather of modern computer science Alan Turing, and it appears likely that this one will finally end in a formal pardon. Now, ordinarily, we'd be all for that, but for one fact. If Turing is issued an official pardon, it will be for the wrong reasons, and runs the risk of ignoring why he actually deserves an apology from his government -- and why many other Britons who were similarly affected by a bad law deserve the same.

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  11. This Dragon Skull on an English Beach is the Best of All Possible Game of Thrones Promotions

    The skull was placed on a beach in Charmouth, England. Get it? Charmouth? Dragons? It works on so many levels!

    Props to U.K. streaming video service Blinkbox for knowing exactly how to celebrate the arrival of season 3 of Game of Thrones on their service -- by leaving a huge dragon skull on an English beach. While that's clearly a great reason, we don't know why people don't do this sort of thing more often. It's not like there's a bad reason to leave a giant dragon skull on the beach. Keep reading for another image that drives home the sheer size of this beast.

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  12. Bathrooms Around the World Pretty Much Under Attack by Wild Animals

    When Animals Attack is making a comeback, probably to a bathroom near you.

    The one room in the home that most people can count on for a little privacy has in recent weeks become a nightmare place. Animal attacks, once one of many good reasons to avoid going outside, have moved into bathrooms around the world. In Israel, the latest attack saw a man minding his own business at a toilet rudely interrupted when a snake bit his penis, which might be the only situation to occur in a men's room that is more awkward than that guy who tries to start a conversation while you're both taking a leak.

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  13. Octopus Found on England’s Highest Mountain, Clearly Only a Matter of Time Before They Invade

    Aww. "Mountain." You're adorable, England.

    You know how when you think of an octopus, you generally imagine it zooming around in the water? That's probably what the volunteers who attended the Scafell Pike Litter Pick in Cumbria, England thought, too -- until they came across one near the summit of the mountain. Huh. I guess that's a thing that can happen.

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  14. England Might Put Jane Austen on Their Money: When’s the U.S. Gonna Step Up Its Game?

    Seriously, are presidents really the best we can do?

    The Bank of England hasn't been afraid to mix it up with their national currency these past couple of decades; starting in 1970, they've been printing historical portraits on some of their money, including such notable figures as Charles Darwin, William Shakespeare, and Florence Nightingale. Now it looks like celebrated novelist Jane Austen might get a place on the £10 note, according to the bank's retiring governor. Between this and Canada's dinosaur coins, why is everybody else's money so much cooler than ours? Come on, USA, get with the times!

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  15. Woman Dressed as Vagina Protects Man Dressed as Penis in Most Surreal Street Fight Ever [NSFW]

    Sure, your theater friends are weird, but when's the last time one of them got in a fight while dressed like a giant penis? It's probably been, like, months since that happened.

    Glastonbury, England is home to a massive theatrical community of dancers, actors, circus performers, and all around flamboyant weirdos. Apparently living there during the right time of year is like being an extra at the end of Blazing Saddles right before the pie fight -- everyone's out in the street wearing ridiculous costumes like it's no big deal and nobody takes umbrage. Well, nobody but the prudish townsperson who attacked an actor dressed as a giant penis while his vagina-adorned scene partner tried to diffuse the situation. Dude, don't be so uptight -- it's art, maaan.

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  16. Fungus Afflicting Juniper Bushes Could Threaten Gin Supplies

    Don't even talk about a world without gin. That's not a world I want to live in.

    Gin. It may be the world's most perfect tipple. It's the backbone of the noble martini. The beating heart of the criminally overlooked gimlet. The one true love of tonic water. It's the drink of Churchill -- and yeah, fine, Nixon too. It may be time to start stockpiling bottles of the spirit, though, as juniper bushes in the British Isles are under siege by a fungus most foul. Since juniper berries give gin its distinctive botanic bouquet, this disease could potentially endanger future gin stocks, resulting in a grim, windblown future where gin and tonics are just a bitter memory and the survivors envy the dead.

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  17. British Man Arrested for Leaving Severed Deer Head at Grocery Checkout

    We're going to need a cleanup on aisle...well, it's probably safe to say that you'll know when you get there.

    A 33-year-old British man has been arrested after leaving a severed deer head at the checkout counter of a Tesco grocery store in England earlier this month. He also left the innards of a deer -- presumably the same one, though we can't be positive -- in one of the store's aisles, prompting what was likely the store's least pleasant page for a cleanup.

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  18. British Batman Unmasked, Actual Story Behind The Spectacle Is Of Course Disappointing

    Yesterday, we brought you the wonderful, uplifting story of a man dressed as Batman who dropped off a suspected criminal at a police station in Bradford, England. Now that all the facts are in, we can look at things in the cold light of day and tell you the dream-shattering truth -- the Bradford Batman wasn't a masked avenger on the side of justice, after all. Instead, he was just a truck driver who happened to be wearing a Batman costume when he gave a friend a ride to the police station to turn himself in. Which is really closer to an accomplice than it is to a vigilante, when you think about it.

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  19. British Batman Drops Suspect Off At Police Station

    Police officers in Bradford, England last week got a gift that will be familiar to comic book readers everywhere when a ne'er-do-well was dropped off to be booked at the police station by none other than Batman himself. Early on the morning of February 25, the Caped Crusader -- who looks to have let himself go a little bit of late -- escorted a 27-year-old man into the Bradford police station. The 27-year-old was arrested on charges of fraud and handling stolen goods. Batman, as is his wont, disappeared into the night.

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  20. Good Job, Now Do Hoffa: Body of Richard III Found Buried Beneath Parking Lot

    The long-lost body of one of England's most famously reviled royals has been discovered in a rather ignominious final resting place. Researchers from the University of Leicester are reporting today the DNA evidence has confirmed that a body found beneath a parking lot late last year is indeed that of Richard III. Some historians are hoping the find will provide a chance for people to look at the 15th-century monarch in a new light, independent of the 'hunchback made of pure evil' characterization popularized by Shakespeare's well known play.

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