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drunks

  1. Indie Band’s Music Video Lets You Control How Drunk They Are With the Click of a Button [Video]

    People from London are really good at two things: indie rock and getting sloshed.

    When Moones set about brainstorming for a live session music video to promote their latest EP, Ollie Kristian had a genius idea: Record their single "Better Energy" over and over again, but have each member of the band drink four beers each between every take. The result is a multi-angle masterpiece of drunkenness that uses over 10,000 YouTube annotations to allow you total control over the band's blood alcohol level at any given moment of the song. Man, if only actually getting drunk were that easy -- think of the money we'd all save!

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  2. Superman Gets Drunk at Jimmy Olsen’s Birthday Party, Causes Problems [Video]

    Spoiler alert: he's a dick.

    Hey, is there something new going on in the Superman franchise? It seems like a lot of people are talking about him for some reason. Huh. Anyway, POYKPAC, the people who brought you such genius videos as Good Morning, Internet! and The Hipster Olympics, have teamed up with the Official Comedy YouTube channel to bring […]

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  3. One in Three Designated Drivers Apparently Don’t Understand What Designated Drivers Are

    In other news, don't trust anyone ever. And maybe just drink at home alone, as God intended.

    In a study conducted by the University of Floridaa whopping 35 percent of designated drivers were found to have some amount of alcohol in their systems, and most of those had imbibed enough to impair their driving.  Remember, though, this was done in Florida, so maybe take the study with a grain of salt, followed by a shot of Cuervo and squirt of lime juice. It is my understanding that many Florida residents operate at a base level of intoxication for much of the time so that they can survive living in the state in the first place. Maybe their designated drivers are all able to adapt to high blood alcohol levels easier than mere mortals like us? Yeah, probably not.

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  4. Nanocapsule Sobers Up Mice In Record Time, Could Lead To Pills That Stop Your Drunk Cold

    Have you ever gotten that kind of drunk where all you can do is watch the room spin and wish you weren't so drunk? It's alright -- most of us have been there. But UCLA researchers may have come up with a new method of sobering up quickly -- a nanocapsule full of enzymes that help digest alcohol. It's been shown to be a promising treatment to alleviate drunkenness in mice, and could one day mean a pill that sobers you up before the hangover sets in, or at least before you start saying unpleasant things about the bouncer's mom.

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  5. Drunk Jerk Arrested for Telling Kids There’s No Santa Claus, Being a Drunk Jerk

    A 24-year-old Canadian man has been arrested after walking along the route of Kingston, Ontario's Santa Claus Day Parade telling children that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. Unsurprisingly, the man -- who police described as "having his hair formed to look like horns that were protruding from his head" -- was drunk, and also in violation of his probation, which is still no good excuse for being a jagweed of this caliber.

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