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Drunk driving

  1. One in Three Designated Drivers Apparently Don’t Understand What Designated Drivers Are

    In other news, don't trust anyone ever. And maybe just drink at home alone, as God intended.

    In a study conducted by the University of Floridaa whopping 35 percent of designated drivers were found to have some amount of alcohol in their systems, and most of those had imbibed enough to impair their driving.  Remember, though, this was done in Florida, so maybe take the study with a grain of salt, followed by a shot of Cuervo and squirt of lime juice. It is my understanding that many Florida residents operate at a base level of intoxication for much of the time so that they can survive living in the state in the first place. Maybe their designated drivers are all able to adapt to high blood alcohol levels easier than mere mortals like us? Yeah, probably not.

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  2. Irish County Council Votes to Issue Drunk Driving Permits to Rural Citizens

    Ireland, it would seem, has officially decided to just start living up to all the ugliest stereotypes the rest of the world has about it. Exhibit A:  The local council for Kerry County in south-west Ireland has approved a measure that would allow police to issue permits to people living in rural areas that would allow them to drive drunk legally. The new rule was proposed by council member Danny Healy-Rae, who we hope to God was drunk when he came up with this idea, if only because the other option is him being stupid all the time.

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