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Discovery Channel

  1. Discovery Says to Hell With Moderation, Changes Shark Week to “Summer of the Shark”

    My shark week seems to go on forever too, Discovery. I feel ya.

    Much of the country may still be bowed under winter's relentless tyranny, but it's never too early to make plans for summer--especially if you're in need of a public relations boost after failing to stuff a live man down an anaconda's gullet.

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  2. Discovery Channel Promises to Stop Ruining Science With Ratings Grabs Like Eaten Alive

    Maybe we can have nice things?

    Discovery isn't going to do any more fake shark/dudes not getting eaten by snakes ratings grabs anymore; they're going to get back to nature and science! Or, if you're one of the people who regularly tell us how wrong we are about megalodon, Discovery is quitting science forever! Take your pick. Choose wisely.

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  3. In Obvious Cry For Help, Discovery To Air Show About Man In “Snake-Proof Suit” Being “Eaten Alive” By An Anaconda

    *snaps her jaw back in place*

    INTERNET! STOP WHAT YOU ARE DOING AND HELP ME PROCESS WHAT MY EYEBALLS ARE SEEING RIGHT NOW!

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  4. Discovery’s Shark Week Will Kick Off With Another Bullshit “Documentary” Instead of Real Science

    Discovery Channel, stahp.

    Remember last year when the Discovery Channel lied about their Shark Week megalodon movie being a documentary? Looks like they're trying to one-up themselves this year with another "documentary," and they just owned up to being behind the above video as a marketing ploy with Nissan.

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  5. Why the Heck Did Discovery Channel Re-Air the Fake Megalodon Documentary Again?

    Guys. Can we not do this?

    Last night, we here at Geekosystem saw a sudden jump in nighttime traffic due to so many people googling "megalodons." Did the Discovery channel re-air that awful fake documentary they? Yes, yes they did -- at midnight EST on Sunday night. Why.

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  6. 5 Creatures That Would Make Perfect Subjects For Fake Discovery Channel Documentaries

    If the Discovery Channel says that unicorns are real then they have to be, right?

    Now that Shark Week is over and the outrage over Megalodon is winding down, Discovery Channel is going to need some new creatures to make fictional documentaries about. Since mermaids have been done already, might we suggest some of these animals as subjects?

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  7. Here are Some Actual Facts About Megalodon Since The Discovery Channel Won’t Give You Any

    Here's a fact: Megalodons are hella awesome.

    As you all know by now, Discovery Channel ruined Shark Week forever by airing a fake documentary about fake Megalodon sightings by fake people. Let's pretend that they instead produced a real documentary about what Megalodons were actually like -- what would you have learned from it? Well, maybe some of these awesome facts.

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  8. Internet Officially Mad at Shark Week for Airing a Fake Megalodon Documentary

    One could even say that it jumped the... no, no. I'm not going to say it.

    If you happened to tune in to the beginning of Discovery Channel's Shark Week programming last night, you might have caught an unusual documentary about a group of scientists trying to catch a megalodon off the coast of South Africa. Why's it unusual? Because megalodons have been extinct for over 2 million years. Yeah, that'll piss off a few nerds.

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  9. Game of Thrones‘ Richard Madden Heading to the (Great White) North in Klondike

    Winter Is Coming

    The King in the North is about to make his way to a different North: Canada. Actor Richard Madden, who plays Robb Stark in Game of Thrones, has been cast in one of the leads in Klondike, where he'll play a 19th century gold digger who ventures up to the Yukon territories to seek his fortune.

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  10. Giant Squid Footage is Actually of a Giant Squid, And It’s Apparently Silver

    Last month we reported that a film crew from Discovery Channel had captured footage of a giant squid at home in the inky blackness of the ocean's depths -- the place where all the most horrid nightmares are born -- for an episode of the cable network's Curiosity series. Since we're inclined to take a "pics or it didn't happen" view of the world over here, it's safe to say that we were all dubious of the claim, especially when past experience has shown that such overhyped discoveries are often run-of-the-mill colossal squid that don't even merit a second glance. Today, though, we're delighted to report that our cynicism was, for once, unfounded. The team of giant squid enthusiasts behind last month's bold claim has released this photo of the legendary aquatic beast that caused superstitious vikings and pirates to soil themselves at the mere mention of it -- we assume.

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