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DARPA

  1. Tempting Fate: MIT’s Robot Cheetah Can Now Run Without Cables, Leashes, Fatigue, or Mercy

    You can run, but you can't hide. Nope, you're just doomed.

    Robots do amazing things for us. They take boring repetitive jobs, move heavy objects, and even snark at each other on cellphone commercials. They also do horrifying things like laser our limbs off before we can even feel it and chase us down like we're antelope on the African plains, and MIT has now enabled their Cheetah-inspired, four-legged robot to run and leap all on its own. When the Terminator comes for you, it'll need your clothes and your boots, but not your motorcycle.

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  2. DARPA and the U.S. Military Want to Give Us Mutant Healing Abilities

    I'm in if they can also make me look like Hugh Jackman.

    DARPA, government purveyors of fine bonkers future technology, is working on a new initiative to create tech implants that can adjust your body's functions and accelerate healing. Your ability to survive the process of receiving your very own adamantium skeleton isn't far away now. All you have to do is create adamantium and devise a system to implant it in your body! That's the easy part, right?

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  3. DARPA Contracts Brain Implant to Record and Restore Memories

    Let's hope it carries more than 80 gigs.

    Prospective data spies, your future is fast approaching: DARPA has contracted Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory (LNLL) to develop an brain implant that can record and stimulate neurons to restore memory. Its primary use will be the treatment of patients suffering from various memory loss conditions that currently lack a cure, but I'm sure The Final Cut and Johnny Mnemonic aren't too far off now.

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  4. DARPA Wants to Fix Soldiers’ Mental Issues With Brain Implants

    Great to see you're feeling better. Now would you kindly report for duty?

    DARPA may not be ready to make a full-scale robot army just yet, so they're now working on a way to make unpredictable, flawed human soldiers more like robots. Instead of therapy and medication, they're creating a system to treat soldier's psychological issues with brain implants that fix the problem and keep feeble humans working.

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  5. DARPA And The Pentagon Are Working On Tiny Brain Robots To Help Soldiers With Memory Loss

    We look forward to the day when we all have tiny DARPA robots in our brain!

    Not content with only building gigantic horror-bots that will one day rule your city with a literal iron fist, DARPA has teamed up with the Pentagon to get a little smaller - implantable-brain-robot smaller. Hopefully, this new project will help treat memory loss in soldiers injured in combat (and not turn them into weird DARPA-slavebots).

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  6. Google Just Bought An Artificial Intelligence Company, Might As Well Surrender Now

    Google would also like your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle.

    Since December, Google has been picking up robotics companies all over the place, including the super-terrifying Boston Dynamics, and the DARPA robot olympics-winning SCHAFT. We couldn't have thees robots annihilate the human race without brains, though, so Google has acquired Artificial Intelligence start-up DeepMind for about $500 million.

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  7. Google’s SCHAFT Win DARPA Robot Olympics With Japanese Humanoid ‘Bot “S-One”

    But Google's totally not trying to take over the world, right guys? Right?

    After two days of intense competition, Japanese robotics team SCHAFT dominated the DARPA Robotics Challenge Trials to emerge as the sole victor (there were probably no retractable chain swords involved, though). Owned by Google, SCHAFT's two-legged bot (called "S-One") earned the most points over the course of the forty-eight hour challenge.

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  8. Watch the “Robot Olympics,” DARPA’s Robotics Challenge Live [Updated for Day 2]

    So once we see which robots are best, we'll know which ones we should be most afraid of.

    DARPA is holding a Robotics Challenge where humanoid and vehicular robots will compete in different events to measure their capabilities. Those events include maneuvering around obstacles, and (we're guessing) eradicating organic meatbag populations (humans).

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  9. Google Buys Boston Dynamics, Now Controls Horrifying Robot Army

    DUN-DUN-DUN DUN-DUN (that's the Terminator theme FYI)

    Not content with owning you and everything you do (probably), Google has purchased Boston Dynamics; you know, the engineering company famous for making terrifying robots that will likely bring about the Skynet-pocalypse.

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  10. Cheetah Robot Now Capable Of Running On Its Own, Humanity Even More Doomed

    Where's John Connor when you need him?

    When last we saw the DARPA-funded "Cheetah" bot, it had just broken the world record for fastest robot with a 28.3 mph running speed. It was also pretty much stuck in one place at the time, which was comforting. Now Boston Dynamics has released video of "Wildcat", which is able to spring on its own without any assistance. Yeah, this will haunt our dreams tonight.

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