Think High Heels Are Hard To Walk In? Watch These Guys Bust Out A Beyoncé Dance Routine In Stilettos.
Got me lookin' SO crazy right now.
Prepare to be amazed.
Prepare to be amazed.
Look, folks -- I know we humans like to think there's a lot more than just the bars on the cage separating us from our more primitive ancestors, but that's just not the case sometimes. Case in point? Dancing. You can put all the intricate choreography and emotional involvement you want to into it, but at the end of the day, dancing got it's start as a way for humans to get themselves laid -- which it largely remains to this day, frankly.
There's a reason why, despite even the best of efforts, us human males egregiously fail at trying to attract the attention of our female counterparts -- and evolution's to blame. Lacking the colorful and hypnotic menagerie of feathers that our avian friends are fortunate to be sporting, humanity's male population has only succeeded in sealing its own fate in unrequited love, while birds continue to rub this sad fact in our faces on a regular basis. As if our situation couldn't get any worse than it is now, recent fossil evidence has shown that feathered dinosaurs known as Oviraptors -- hailing from Mongolia -- had nearly the same kind of tail end plumage akin to their modern cousins, even going as far as having the ability to shake them about and get a potential mate to notice the exotic dance number. Great, now even dinosaurs are starting to get a superiority complex.
Like all astronauts, these potatoes and cacti are test pilots. And if you think of the greatest test pilots in history, from Chuck Yeager to Neil Armstrong, you find that they're highly intelligent and also extremely dumb: Intelligent enough to navigate the unknown, and dumb enough to let themselves be launched in the first place. Plants also have these essential traits: The smarts to adapt to novel conditions and the stupidity not to run away... Few people, in my experience, have ever revered a potato, let alone envied one. We tend to eat them, and of course the Irish cursed them during the Great Famine. But now here's the chance for children to look up to potatoes as heroic, just as John Glenn and Buzz Aldrin were once role models... Of course by colonialist standards, potatoes will have territorial claim to Mars since they've beat Homo sapiens, and what's most hospitable to them may be to inhabit it without us around.So, yeah, we were going to do a whole post just on that. But then we went to Jonathon Keats' Wikipedia page, and got lost for fifteen minutes. And so, without further ado, we present a list of Things That Jonathon Keats Has Done.