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crime

  1. The Loooooong Con: Criminal Mastermind Leaves ID-Tagged Wiener Dog at the Scene of the Crime

    Just your textbook dachshund and grab.

    A 31-year-old man has been arrested and sentenced to six months in jail after stealing a laptop and $5 from a denture clinic in Quebec and leaving his dog-complice behind.

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  2. Welp, Computers are Ordering Illegal Drugs From the Internet Now

    Yes, IRL.

    If someone programs a robot to randomly purchase items, and it happens to order illegal drugs and a forged passport, was a crime committed? And if so... who committed it?

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  3. Former Power Rangers Stuntman Arrested For Cat Burglary

    No No Power Rangeeeeeeers!

    Yasutomo Ihara was once a stunt man on two of the biggest live action superhero franchises on Japanese TV: Kamen Rider and Super Sentai, the latter of which is recycled into Power Rangers for American audiences. All of that ended, though, when he injured his knee and was forced to retire from his life of acrobatics. What's a broke and desperate former performer to do? Why, turn to a life of crime, of course.

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  4. A Town in Spain Hired a Poo Detective, Sorry Space Lawyers, There’s a New Most Entertaining Job

    Magnum P.O.O.

    We've all, at one time or another, stepped in a pile of someone else's pet poop and thought, "Man, if only I could find the person responsible for this and make them pay." Well, a town in Spain finally made that a reality by hiring a poo detective to seek out and find these dastardly poo-petrators.

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  5. Woman Jailed for Not Returning Jennifer Lopez Monster in Law Video

    Her punishment should be watching that movie.

    Remember physical video rentals? Kayla Michelle Finley will probably never forget. She was arrested and jailed for not returning a copy of the Jennifer Lopez epic Monster in Law.

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  6. Science Finally Able To Tell The Genetic Difference Between Identical Twins

    Sorry, every cop drama ever.

    It's such a great conceit for a crime show: guy commits murder; guy denies it; turns out it was guy's identical twin all along; everyone is happy (except murdered dude). Sadly, procedurals are going to have to get some new plotlines, because scientists at Eurofins have finally discovered a way to tell identical twins apart genetically.

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  7. Nissan Leaf Owner Arrested for “Stealing” Five Cents Worth of Electricity

    We put "stealing" in quotes because we think this is ridiculous.

    Stealing is bad, mmkay? That's a lesson the Chamblee, Georgia police are trying to teach Kaveh Kamooneh, who plugged his electric car into an outlet at his son's school while he was waiting for the boy to be finished with tennis practice. The sum total of his crimes? About five cents. Must have been a slow day in Georgia.

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  8. Burglar Invades Old Lady’s House Only to Find She’s a Competitive Axe-Thrower

    Meanwhile...

    Robyn Irvine chased off a thief from her California home this week, presumably because the intruder did not know she was a competitive axe-thrower who keeps an axe at her bedside.

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  9. This Kid Lived Leo DiCaprio’s Life From Catch Me If You Can

    He basically used the film as an instruction manual, honestly.

    Did you watch the Leonardo DiCaprio film Catch Me If You Can, and think, "Gee, that's a great idea. I think I'm going to try that, because Leo makes fraud seem fun!" Well apparently one Scottish kid thought exactly that, and started living the high life, con-artist style.

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  10. Man Convicted For Burglary Attempt Is Sentenced To Singledom For Three Years

    No time for love, Inmate Jones!

    If you ever get dragged into a plot to commit robbery, you don't just have to worry about possible jail time, legal fees, or probation if you get caught -- you'll also have to worry that you're not going to be allowed to date anyone anymore. That's apparently a thing a judge can demand of you now.

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  11. Oompa Loompas Plead Guilty in Street Fight, This Really Happened

    Oompa loompa doopity de dight, don't go out drinking and get in a fight.

    We always knew the Oompa Loompas had a mean streak in them, so we're not surprised to hear that two Oompa Loompas have been charged for their part in a brawl outside a nightclub. We were surprised to find out that it was actually just two guys dressed as Oompa Loompas, and not real Oompa Loompas, because Oompa Loompas aren't real.

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  12. Student in Spider-Man Costume Tazed and Arrested for Robbery

    Maybe old J. Jonah Jameson was right this whole time?

    21-year-old University of Pitttsburgh student Jonathan Hewson was arrested on robbery charges while wearing a full Spider-Man costume. A clerk at the Atwood Express called police after tazing Hewson, who was then found about a block away. Don't worry: There's video.

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  13. Things We Saw Today: Kermit and Piggy Go LEGO

    Things We Saw Today

    This Muppets LEGO set is only a proposed project on LEGO Cuusoo, LEGO's site for petitioned projects the public can vote on, but the Muppet minifigs look ready for the big time. User Jedikermit has suggested multiple sets for the figures, based on the many Muppet films, and given that Muppets Most Wanted comes out next spring, we think LEGO should take note.

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  14. Man Locks Verizon Worker in His Underground Vault For Parking On His Grass

    You know who really shouldn't have access to an underground vault? This guy.

    A 71-year-old storage facility owner in Westborough, Massachusetts, took the whole "get off my lawn" thing too far when he trapped a Verizon worker in an underground vault for parking on his grass. He was probably either mentally unstable or an overzealous AT&T customer. I'm going to guess it was probably the former.

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  15. 10,000 Live Turtles Found Packed in Luggage at Indian Airport

    I'm sorry, but we're going to have to ask you to check that.

    Two passengers have been detained at an airport near Kolkata, India on charges of smuggling wildlife. The evidence against them? A staggering total of 10,043 baby sea turtles found stashed in their luggage. Now, I'm not exactly well versed in India's legal system, but I do have to assume "possession of 10,000 turtles" is fairly ironbound evidence of wildlife smuggling no matter where in the world you go.

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  16. Oh No! Stolen Picasso and Other Paintings Potentially Burned to Ash

    This is why we can't have nice things.

    Theft in the real world isn't all Thomas Crowne and Daniel Ocean. It actually tends to be kind of terrible. For instance, one of the Netherlands' biggest art thefts in recent history might have come to a close with a painting each by Picasso, Matisse, Gauguin, de Haan, and Freud -- as well as two Monets -- burned to ash.

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  17. Dog Gives Away Burglary Suspect’s Hiding Place

    This right here is why most criminals leave their dogs at home when they go out on burglaries.

    Ever wondered why you hear a lot of talk about "cat burglars," but never so much as a peep about "dog burglars"? Well, it's because dogs make terrible burglars, as a San Antonio man learned when he brought his chihuahua along on a break-in earlier this week. After making a daring escape and hiding in the bushes, the growling of the dog gave away Gerardo Daniel Reyna's position to police, leading to his arrest. This is why, traditionally, dogs stay on the "security" end of crime. It plays to their strengths.

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  18. Things We Saw Today: Jedi Michonne Gets a Weapons Upgrade To Fight Zombie Stormtroopers

    Things We Saw Today

    This poster by PJ McQuade of Michonne, Jedi bounty hunter, is on sale at McQuade's Etsy shop, so that you can contemplate Michonne in all her intimidating, double-lightsaber wielding power and wish there were really a comic book to explain to you how the stormtrooper-zombie outbreak began.

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  19. The Farting Policeman: Officer’s Flatulence Helps Bust Pot Grow-Op

    You'll make Sergeant for this, Officer Fart Cop.

    Today in Top Notch Police Work news, police in Britain sniffed out an outdoor marijuana farm and brought the operation to a halt -- and it was all thanks to the rank farts of one of their colleagues.

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  20. British Burglar Gives Police The Runaround, Expands House Arrest Area To Whole Block

    While being fitted for an ankle monitor -- the must-have spring accessory for any fashion forward petty criminal -- a 16-year-old burglar in the United Kingdom had a brainstorm, taking off for a brisk run around his block before returning. The young convict wasn't trying to escape his captors, though -- just irk them. By taking a dash around the neighborhood while his ankle monitor was being set, the hoodlum expanded the range of his own captivity.

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