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crime

Meanwhile...

Burglar Invades Old Lady’s House Only to Find She’s a Competitive Axe-Thrower

Robyn Irvine chased off a thief from her California home this week, presumably because the intruder did not know she was a competitive axe-thrower who keeps an axe at her bedside.

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Things We Saw Today

Things We Saw Today: Kermit and Piggy Go LEGO

This Muppets LEGO set is only a proposed project on LEGO Cuusoo, LEGO’s site for petitioned projects the public can vote on, but the Muppet minifigs look ready for the big time. User Jedikermit has suggested multiple sets for the figures, based on the many Muppet films, and given that Muppets Most Wanted comes out next spring, we think LEGO should take note.

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Things We Saw Today

Things We Saw Today: Jedi Michonne Gets a Weapons Upgrade To Fight Zombie Stormtroopers

This poster by PJ McQuade of Michonne, Jedi bounty hunter, is on sale at McQuade’s Etsy shop, so that you can contemplate Michonne in all her intimidating, double-lightsaber wielding power and wish there were really a comic book to explain to you how the stormtrooper-zombie outbreak began.

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It Belongs in a Museum!

Smuggled Tyrannosaur Skeleton Returned to Its Rightful Home

If you follow the world of fossil hunting, you may remember this story. And if you don’t, you might remember it anyway, because there’s little that piques the interest of weird news reporters than headlines that include phrases like “dinosaur smugglers.” Dinosaurs all over the world can rest easy tonight, knowing that the most complete skeleton of Tyrannosaurus bataar ever found is being shipped back to its place of origin, Mongolia, now that the court case United States of America v. One Tyrannosaurus Bataar Skeleton (actual name) has been settled.

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The Future Is Now!

Minority Report Precog-Like Software Being Tested In Baltimore And Philadelphia To Predict Crimes

More and more these days we’re witnesses the technologies from our favorite sci-fi films and television shows get closer to reality. The latest is a new kind of software meant to predict the actions of criminals. Baltimore, Maryland and Philadelphia, Pennsylvania are already using it to prevent murders and Washington D.C. is next on the list. Don’t worry, no one is keeping psychics in a pool. Well, not that we’re aware… 

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I See What They Did There

Dastardly Thieves Dressed As Knights Rob a Renaissance Faire

Nothing to see here, officer.

Using what clearly qualifies as one of the best disguises ever, three to four thieves dressed up as knights and armed themselves with swords and axes in order to rob the organizers of a medieval festival to the tune of $25,000. Though they blended in with other faire goers, apparently these guys were unconcerned with the whole knighthood entailing chivalry bit.

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Clever Girl

Sara Ganim, 24, Becomes One of the Youngest Winners of the Pulitzer Prize For Local Reporting

For her work covering the sex abuse scandal at Penn State, Sara Ganim has earned herself — and her staff — a Pulitzer Prize. And at the age of 24, she is the youngest recipient this year and one of the award’s youngest recipients ever. Considering how this story, which she first started covering when she was fresh out of college, blew up all over the world, it’s a signal of a pretty huge career ahead for the young reporter.

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For great justice

Suspects Arrested in Girl Scout Cookie Money Robbery (No Visible Scars, Though)

In a glorious update of a previous story, two suspects have been arrested after allegedly robbing a troop of Girl Scouts of their cookie money in Texas. You may recall that the girl pictured above on the left, Iravia Cotton, punched one of the suspects in the face before he got away, and that the girl pictured on the right, Rachel Johnson, was dragged by the culprits as they drove away. The latter also wished that the thief “had a scar” following the face-punch. While there was no talk of scars, the cops believe they have identified the jerks who took hard-earned cookie money from Girl Scouts.

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i swear by my pretty floral bonnet i will end you

They Earn All the Badges: Girl Scouts Punch Thief in the FACE After Cookie Money Robbery

The headline speaks for itself: Two Texas Girl Scouts, Iravia Cotton and Rachel Johnson, chased down a horrible person who stole $200 of Girl Scout cookie money from their booth. Iravia punched the guy in the face. Rachel grabbed on to the guy’s car and was dragged as he drove away. You might be wondering if they’re okay, and I kind of think they’ve proven they can take care of themselves. Man, the things girls need to do to earn badges these days!

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Consider the Following

Women’s Criminal Work: 1930s-40s Mug Shots from Los Angeles

A Badger Game is a centuries old two-man con which involves targeting a wealthy mark who appears to be visiting from out of town. The female member of the team attempts to lure him into a compromising position that can be barged in on by her partner posing as an irate brother or father or otherwise recorded for the purpose of blackmail.

The rest of these ladies appear to have been accused of just as impressive crimes (well, except for those who were accused of things that, thank goodness, are no longer illegal in the US).

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