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Congress

  1. Congress Asks NASA If the International Space Station Is in Trouble Over U.S.-Russian Relations

    "You kids behave yourselves, or I will turn this space station right around and go home." —Russia

    Hey, we're not the only ones concerned that Russian Deputy Prime Minister Dmitry Rogozin has been slinging insults and making threats that Russia will just leave everyone else with a crippled ISS in 2020! Congress must have heard what was going on, because they asked NASA if it's more than just a threat.

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  2. Teacher-Turned-Congressman Grades GOP Letter to House Speaker, Posts It to Tumblr for Your Enjoyment

    There are politicians who use Tumblr? This is worse than when the celebrities find our fanfic.

    As much as high school sucked for basically everyone, there are some things about the state of the real adult world that could probably be improved by a little more of the discipline that only an overworked teacher can provide. Former high school teacher Representative Mark Takano (D-CA) decided that maybe the Republican-drafted letter about immigration that was circulating around the floor of the House might benefit from some edits and creative criticism, so he graded it and posted the results to his Tumblr. Unsurprisingly, Takano feels the work needs some serious revisions.

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  3. Department of Defense, Congressional Staff Forbidden From Reading Publicly Available PRISM Documents

    This seems like a ridiculous thing to do, but okay, sure, these documents don't exist.

    Thanks to Edward Snowden's leaked documents, everyone in the world can learn a lot about what the NSA was up to with the PRISM data mining program. Except the people who should have been overseeing it in the first place, as it turns out. Both Congressional staffers and Department of Defense employees have been instructed to not look at the documents and basically pretend they were never leaked in the first place.

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  4. The Entertainment Industry Wants Congress to Let Them Give You Malware

    Pirating content is bad, mmkay? That doesn't make it okay for the content creators to install malware on your computer.

    The entertainment industry would like you to stop pirating things. They've tried digital rights management, prosecuting file sharers, and even making films like The Last Airbender that were so bad nobody would want to pirate them. Nothing's worked. You jerks keep stealing content, so now the industry is asking Congress to let them install malware on your computer to get you to knock it off.

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  5. Good News, Everyone! The House Passed CISPA!

    They say every cloud has a silver lining. If that's true, then there has to be something good about the fact that 288 members of Congress just voted to pass CISPA, right? The bill essentially strips citizens of any right to online privacy, which is obviously terrible, but there has to be something positive about this.

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  6. Congress Might Have Doomed Us All to an Asteroid Apocalypse. Thanks, Guys.

    It Came From Outer Space

    The last few months have seen several asteroids unexpectedly buzz our planet, a fact that has caused a bit of concern for Congress. After all, while the chances of a catastrophic asteroid impact are tiny, if one does manage to hit us the effect could be pretty bad. Like, end of humanity bad. So it makes sense that Congress would want someone monitoring near-Earth asteroids just in case one should come barreling towards us. Hmmm. Who does Congress have to turn to when they need someone to watch the skies? NASA. Whose budget has Congress drastically cut in recent years? NASA. You see where this is going.

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  7. Mr. Rage Face Goes to Washington: Congresswoman Intends to Source Ideas From Reddit

    In a move that will either prove to be brilliant or disastrous, House Representative Zoe Lofgren of California intends to use Reddit to take suggestions on legislation dealing with websites accused of copyright infringement. We think Reddit would be a great way for citizens to interact with their representatives, but the obvious potential for trolling is also worth considering. Internet, please behave.

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  8. Republicans and Democrats Agree On Manhattan Project National Park, Manage Not to Vote It Into Existence

    We've told you before about legislation in Congress that would make the laboratories that housed the Manhattan Project into a national park, commemorating probably the greatest gathering of scientific minds in the history of time and both the scientific progress (atomic energy) and sickening horror (the atomic bomb) that resulted from it. The Manhattan Project National Historical Park Act finally came up for a vote in the halls of Congress last night, and a majority of our great nation's elected represntatives -- 237 grown adults -- agreed that it should be a thing that exists, which, given the state of our political system today, of course means that the bill failed. Confused? We've got your explanation after the jump.

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  9. Goodbye, Tax-Free Online Shopping

    No. No no no no no no no. no.

    Gone are the sweet, sweet days of tax-free online shopping. At least, they might be soon, if an upcoming bill in Congress that would make sales tax standard online passes. Now might be a good time to check out those bookmarked shopping carts.

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  10. The Facebook Privacy Issue Is Heading to Capitol Hill

    Meanwhile...

    The cherry blossoms are a-blooming, and that means it's time for a Washington, D.C.-related post, following the inner workings of the sausage factory we call the government. And in this case, it finally doesn't involve transvaginal probing! No, this is an update to a story we brought you yesterday, concerning the issue of employers asking potential hires for their Facebook usernames and passwords. We briefly mentioned that one U.S. senator was introducing federal legislation to stop that, and now another has joined him. Which leads us to ask: "So, what do you think Chuck Schumer is really trying to hide on his Facebook profile, you guys?"

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