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  1. Obviously We Are Dead And This Is Heaven, Reese’s Now Comes In Spreadable Form

    I will absorb it through my pores.

    Nutella to the left! Do you hear me, Nutella? Everything you own in the box to the left!

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  2. Thank You, Hera: Science May Have Fixed Nutella’s Supply/Demand Problem

    We need to start rationing waffles. Now.

    We now have the resources for hella Nutella.

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  3. Frequent Misspelling Of “Suites” Prompts Retailer To Offer Solid-Chocolate Bathroom Set

    For your golden tickets and your oompa loompa dippity doos.

    God bless The online retailer of bidets, toilets and other traditionally inedible fixtures is now descending a delicious slippery slope by selling powder-room appliances made entirely out of chocolate.

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  4. Feast on the Skulls of Your Candy Enemies With Anatomically Correct Chocolate Skulls

    "On a mountain of chocolate skulls in a castle of cotton candy, I sat on a throne of hot fudge." -- A tastier Vigo the Carpathian.

    Hungry for a snack, but also want to look like an real badass? Then consider these anatomically correct chocolate skulls. Handmade from Belgian chocolate, these chocolates are made in a mold crafted from the real skull of an actual dead human by the Black Chocolate Co, a UK-based confectioner probably run by secret vampires.

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  5. Breaking News: Digestive Biscuits Have Chocolate On The Bottom, Not the Top

    Next you're going to tell me that french fries aren't actually Fre-- wait, what now?

    Leave it to the UK to name their cookies "digestives," right? It sounds like an unappetizing experience, but trust me when I saw that they're actually really delicious. Of course, as it turns out, I've been eating them wrong this entire time like the incompetent American heathen that I am. But that's okay: so has most of England.

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  6. Mars Bar Inc. Studying the Life Saving Benefits of “Chocolate Pills”

    Suck it baby, this is for my health!

    The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and Mars Inc. (maker of M&Ms and Snickers bars) are collaborating on a study to determine if daily "chocolate pills" will reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke. Obviously the candy peddlers have a vested interest in the outcome, so I should probably conduct my own research, right? Just to be sure.

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  7. Things We Saw Today: Peter Catpaldi

    Things We Saw Today

    Jenny Parks, who previously drew Doctors 1-11 as felines, has been keeping up with Doctor Who's catsting... uh, casting. You can see the War Doctor as a cat on her Tumblr.

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  8. Oompa Loompa Doopity Docolate, Scientists Can Now Authenticate Premium Chocolate

    There's a lesson in here somewhere.

    Scientists (pictured above) have finally discovered a way to authenticate claims that chocolate is "premium" and not secretly sub-premium Slugworth nonsense. It's a great day for humanity.

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  9. Hungry? Here, Have Some Chocolate Buttholes

    This feels like the punchline to a Saturday Night Live sketch.

    Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof, we currently live in a world where it is indeed possible to purchase fine chocolate molded in the shape of a asshole. Truly, this is the most blessed timeline of all.

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  10. Get Your Face, Possibly the Face of Tom Hiddleston, Printed in Chocolate

    This is just like magic!

    For between $80-$130 3D printing company Choc Edge will create a miniature sculpture of a face out of milk, dark, or white chocolate. Now the intention is that one orders sculptures of one’s own face, but seeing as they work off a photograph I see no reason why you couldn’t send in the face of your favorite celebrity instead. I’m not creepy. You’re creepy. (via: Fashionably Geek) Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

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