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  1. Benedict #Chocobatch Gets Eaten in a UK Shopping Mall

    Benedict Cumbersnack? Candybatch? Candysnack?

    I love Benedict Cumberbatch. I also love chocolate. Do you know what I love more than both those things, though? BEING SANITARY. UKTV decided to perform The Chocolate Cumberbatch Temptation Experiment, in which they created a life-sized statue of Benedict Cumberbatch made entirely out of chocolate, then left it in the middle of a busy UK shopping mall just to see what would happen to it.

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  2. Things We Saw Today: Here is a Chocolate Benedict Cumberbatch, What a Time to Be Alive

    That vacant stare tho

    I hope if society falls apart tomorrow, this is the artifact future civilizations will judge us by. This and Johnlock fanart.

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  3. Obviously We Are Dead And This Is Heaven, Reese’s Now Comes In Spreadable Form

    I will absorb it through my pores.

    Nutella to the left! Do you hear me, Nutella? Everything you own in the box to the left!

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  4. Thank You, Hera: Science May Have Fixed Nutella’s Supply/Demand Problem

    We need to start rationing waffles. Now.

    We now have the resources for hella Nutella.

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  5. Frequent Misspelling Of “Suites” Prompts Retailer To Offer Solid-Chocolate Bathroom Set

    For your golden tickets and your oompa loompa dippity doos.

    God bless The online retailer of bidets, toilets and other traditionally inedible fixtures is now descending a delicious slippery slope by selling powder-room appliances made entirely out of chocolate.

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  6. Feast on the Skulls of Your Candy Enemies With Anatomically Correct Chocolate Skulls

    "On a mountain of chocolate skulls in a castle of cotton candy, I sat on a throne of hot fudge." -- A tastier Vigo the Carpathian.

    Hungry for a snack, but also want to look like an real badass? Then consider these anatomically correct chocolate skulls. Handmade from Belgian chocolate, these chocolates are made in a mold crafted from the real skull of an actual dead human by the Black Chocolate Co, a UK-based confectioner probably run by secret vampires.

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  7. Breaking News: Digestive Biscuits Have Chocolate On The Bottom, Not the Top

    Next you're going to tell me that french fries aren't actually Fre-- wait, what now?

    Leave it to the UK to name their cookies "digestives," right? It sounds like an unappetizing experience, but trust me when I saw that they're actually really delicious. Of course, as it turns out, I've been eating them wrong this entire time like the incompetent American heathen that I am. But that's okay: so has most of England.

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  8. Mars Bar Inc. Studying the Life Saving Benefits of “Chocolate Pills”

    Suck it baby, this is for my health!

    The National Heart, Lung and Blood Institute and Mars Inc. (maker of M&Ms and Snickers bars) are collaborating on a study to determine if daily "chocolate pills" will reduce the risk of heart attack or stroke. Obviously the candy peddlers have a vested interest in the outcome, so I should probably conduct my own research, right? Just to be sure.

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  9. Things We Saw Today: Peter Catpaldi

    Things We Saw Today

    Jenny Parks, who previously drew Doctors 1-11 as felines, has been keeping up with Doctor Who's catsting... uh, casting. You can see the War Doctor as a cat on her Tumblr.

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  10. Oompa Loompa Doopity Docolate, Scientists Can Now Authenticate Premium Chocolate

    There's a lesson in here somewhere.

    Scientists (pictured above) have finally discovered a way to authenticate claims that chocolate is "premium" and not secretly sub-premium Slugworth nonsense. It's a great day for humanity.

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  11. Hungry? Here, Have Some Chocolate Buttholes

    This feels like the punchline to a Saturday Night Live sketch.

    Ladies, gentlemen, and variations thereof, we currently live in a world where it is indeed possible to purchase fine chocolate molded in the shape of a asshole. Truly, this is the most blessed timeline of all.

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  12. Get Your Face, Possibly the Face of Tom Hiddleston, Printed in Chocolate

    This is just like magic!

    For between $80-$130 3D printing company Choc Edge will create a miniature sculpture of a face out of milk, dark, or white chocolate. Now the intention is that one orders sculptures of one’s own face, but seeing as they work off a photograph I see no reason why you couldn’t send in the face of your favorite celebrity instead. I’m not creepy. You’re creepy. (via: Fashionably Geek) Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

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  13. Yes, But Are These Chocolates… Organic?

    In Which We Make A Terrible Pun

    I'm not even going to try to pretend that the sole reason I'm doing a whole post dedicated to these chocolates by Visual Anatomy Limited isn't because I wanted to make that pun. (via: Geekosystem) Are you following The Mary Sue on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr, Pinterest, & Google +?

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  14. Visual Anatomy’s Collection of Assorted Body Part-Shaped Chocolates Are Fun For the Whole Family

    You know, if your family is comprised of serial killers.

    Most everybody loves chocolate. Most everybody also has a similar set of functioning human organs. "Why not combine these two common interests into one delectable treat?" the team at Visual Anatomy thought. "There's no way that will creep anybody out or anything!"

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  15. Scientists Unravel Chocolate Genome, Scientifically Superior Chocolates in Our Future

    It's okay, Game of Thrones fans: the world can still be an okay place sometimes.

    This weekend was very upsetting for me, from the death of All in the Family star Jean Stapleton to... well, Game of Thrones was pretty rough last night, y'all. At times like this, the greatest remedy for profound emotional devastation is a whole bunch of chocolate slammed right down my facehole. Good to know that the open access journal Genome Biology is looking out for me there, as they've released a fully sequenced genome for the cacao plant which may one day lead to better tasting chocolate. 

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  16. A Chocolate Circuit Board, For When She’s Already Got Enough RAM

    om nom nom

    Japanese manufacterer I-O Data has been making computer parts for more than thirty years now, and to mark the occasion, this year they're giving away some pretty convincing-looking chocolate RAM to a few lucky folks chosen from those who shop from their website. So, this could either be for when your significan other already has more than enough RAM, or for when the price of premium RAM actually drops below the price of premium chocolate and therefore becomes an unimpressive gift. Previously in Food

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  17. Disney World Chocolate Dioramas Are Too Good To Eat

    It's A World of Laughter A World of Tears

    Walt Disney World's Epcot International Food & Wine Festival is happening right now and while there are countless delectable items to eat, you won't be able to get your grubby hands on these. In an exhibit called "The Chocolate Experience: From The Bean to the Bar" chocolatiers Ghirardelli have formed yummy candy into works of art - Disney art, that is! And no, they didn't stick to just Disney proper. Take a look, but don't touch, these awesome dioramas. (via That's Nerdalicious)

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  18. If You Don’t Like Maraschino Cherries This Chocolate Death Star Is a Trap

    For A More Civilized Age

    Now I really want a version of this that's like those chocolate oranges? Where you slam it on a table and it breaks into sections? Forge that for me, fickle internet gods. Previously in Star Wars Food

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  19. How To Make Amazingly Gross Looking Chocolate Facehugger Eggs

    Do Try This At Home

    Backwards Lamb prepared these xenomorph eggs from milk and dark chocolate, and, with the help of some silicone molds available online, has a guide for how you can do it too. Because you know all your friends are dying to chow down on the delightfully biological and creepy design work of H.R. Geiger. Previously in Geeky Food

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  20. You Got Chocolate In My Peanut Butter! And Both of Them In My Oil Spill!

    Fact: There is no situation in life so bleak that it can't be improved, if not entirely solved, by a liberal application of candy. For proof of this statement, look no further than a recently developed chemical that promises to use the ingredients in peanut butter and chocolate to clean up oil spills, like the one that resulted from the Deepwater Horizon disaster. Because like the Planeteers, when chocolate and peanut butter combine their powers, there is pretty much nothing they can't do -- including save the environment.

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