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  1. Chris and Dave Hadfield Made “The Most Canadian Music Video Ever” To Celebrate Canada Day

    Needs more French.

    Not all our readers will appreciate the significance of July 1st, but for those of you who do, I salute you!

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  2. Guy Rescues a Baby Moose, Takes It to Tim Horton’s, Because Canada

    Tim Horton's may be a perfect habitat for Canadians, but not so much for moose.

    That's it, we've found the essence of Canada. This is a story about a guy doing something nice and selfless that involves a moose and Tim Horton's. It's not always the best idea to take in stray animals you find on the side of the road, but if you do, taking them for donuts is probably the way to go.

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  3. Thank You, Toronto Citizen Who Demanded a Library Remove Hop on Pop, For Protecting Me From Being Hopped Upon

    I will not be hopped upon!

    A library in Toronto has received a request to remove the Dr. Seuss book Hop on Pop for fear that it will inspire kids to violently attack their fathers in a hopping fashion. As a father with no desire to be hopped upon, I applaud this brave Torontonian for taking a stand to protect me from my child.

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  4. Canada Is Working Hard To Bring The World A Pizza Cake

    Now I actually know what we're "blaming them" for.

    Boston Pizza is a Canada-based chain that makes third-rate pies but first-rate hybrids of pizza and politics. As part of "their Pizza Game Changer" promotion you can vote right now for a hypothetical weird food innovation you want to see at a parlor near you. If you have strong feelings about Pizza Cake (as you should) then make your voice heard!

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  5. Canadian Olympic Athletes in Sochi Get Free Beer With Their Passports

    As opposed to American passports, which usually just get you silently judged.

    Hey, Olympic athletes need to unwind every now and then, too. It turns out Canada's team has the advantage in that area, though, as Molson Canadian has installed a beer fridge in their Olympic house that opens when a Canadian passport is scanned. Presumably, that beer fridge is now empty, and someone is trying desperately to wake up the Olympians.

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  6. Avalanche Sharks Is a Movie, Whether We Want It to Be or Not, so Watch the Trailer [Video]

    Because the problem with Sharknado was its plausability.

    This summer, the snow will run red with your blood. Wait, what? The inevitable next shark/natural disaster movie is here, but this time, it has way more Canada.

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  7. Canadian Mountie Delighted To Find Tumblr’s Cartoons of Her Stopping Crime With Bear Cub Partner

    Bear Time

    Two and a half years ago, Constable Suzanne Bourque was interviewing witnesses about the activity of a too-friendly-for-his-own-good bear cub who'd been pestering visitors at the Terra Nova National park in Newfoundland and Labrador when the bear cub himself showed up. The ensuing pictures were un-bear-ably adorable, but, in the way of things on the internet, ran under the radar for a while until they finally got their chance at becoming internet gold.

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  8. Thousands of Snowy Owls Are Migrating to Florida Because It’s Too Cold in Canada

    It's definitely not because they want to go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter in Orlando. Nope.

    Snowy owls tend to stick to parts of the continent that are, y'know, snowy — but anything goes in this weird post-polar vortex world of ours, and now there are reports of snowy owl sightings as far south as Florida. That's right, it's too cold in Canada for animals that have the word "snow" in their names.

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  9. Canada Now Has a Truck Made of Ice, Because Water Is a Solid in Canada

    Is this some kind of weird winter-themed Transformers spin-off?

    Last week, we learned that parts of Canada had become colder than the surface of Mars. Now they've used their powers of extreme cold to build a truck made of 11,000 pounds of ice to prove that its battery works well in cold conditions, because just being in temperatures lower than Mars didn't prove it enough.

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  10. This Is What Happens When You Use A Water Gun Outside (When It’s As Cold As Mars)

    Cloud-Making 101.

    Yesterday we told you that a bunch of Canada got colder than Mars. Today, it looks like the same is true for the majority of North America. This guy in Northern Ontario (where it was -41°C and -41°F) filled a SuperSoaker with boiling water, went out into the cold, and created his own clouds. It's like the intense version of seeing your breath.

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