Your Stupid Minds! Stupid! Stupid!
Gather round, dear readers, for story time. Your tale today is about the hamlet of Fairfield, Connecticut. A quiet town where crime is low (not a single murder since 2008) and crops are bountiful (well, no crops, but with an average household income of just under $100k most people can afford to buy the food they need), its citizens nevertheless found their peaceful lives rocked yesterday when they were hit by a calamity of epic proportions. What could they do? Who could they turn to? How would they survive
Or, in plainer terms: There was a cable outage an hour before Breaking Bad
was set to air, and a ton of people called 911 to complain about it. Let's break out the "I'm judging you" gifs, because this is messed up.