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  1. Things We Saw Today: Falkor Is The Tastiest Luck Dragon In All Of Fantasia

    Cake? Did somebody say cake?

    If you'll excuse me, I need to go talk to some sugar about my nostalgia.

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  2. Someone’s Making All The “Burgers Of The Day” From Bob’s Burgers Because The World Is A Beautiful Place

    Do the Child Molester next! Everyone loves candy!

    You know the hilariously dorky puns that show up on the specials board in Bob's Burgers? Don't they always sound kind of... delicious? (Yes, even the Foot Feta-ish burger). Some cooking bloggers certainly thought so, and they've decided to transform every dumb play on words into its own amazing burger recipe.

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  3. Charles Ramsey Doesn’t Want Your Charity Burgers

    Or any attention at all, actually. No, really. Go away.

    Remember how a number of restaurants in the Cleveland area, where Charles Ramsey helped three women escape from their alleged kidnapper, wanted to offer the everyman hero free burgers for life? Well, he wants you to know that not only does he not want those free burgers, but he would really like everyone to stop using his face in their ridiculous marketing campaigns and Internet content. Leave the poor guy alone, people. He's just a guy!

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  4. A Bunch of Restaurants Promise Charles Ramsey Free Burgers for Life, Also Probably Artherosclerosis

    Charles Ramsey is going to eat like a king for the rest of his life, provided that kings ate a lot of hamburgers, which I'm pretty sure they did.

    Charles Ramsey, the Cleveland man who intervened to help three women escape from the man who allegedly kidnapped them and held them captive for a decade, was famously eating a Big Mac when he was alerted to the crime. Now, in honor of both his heroism and his penchant for burgers, no less than thirteen restaurants in the region are offering Ramsey free burgers for life.

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  5. Artificial Meat Made From Human Poop

    Japanese researcher Mitsyuki Ikeda has accomplished what we've all dreamed of doing: He has extracted protein from human fecal matter and turned it into edible, artificial meat. Yep, that burger pictured above is a human poopburger. A noble intention, Ikeda went down this road in order to be resourceful by recycling poop, which in theory, would actually help create food for the less fortunate -- although one may say anyone who has to eat a poopburger is pretty unfortunate.

    Currently, the poopburgers are quite expensive, costing around ten to twenty times the price of regular meat, because each burger has to factor in the price of Ikeda's research. As delectable as "poopburger" sounds, Ikeda calls the poop extract "sewage mud," which only sounds slightly better. Head on past the break to see a short video segment featuring Ikeda and his poopburger.

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  6. McDonalds’ Burgers Actually Decay at the Same Rate as Similar Natural Patties

    A few months ago we wondered exactly how McDonalds could claim that their burgers are made with “100% pure USDA inspected beef; no fillers, no extenders [and] prepared with grill seasoning (salt, black pepper),” when over a period of 127 days, one photographer captured one disturbingly unchanged Happy Meal. Well, thanks to J. Kenji Lopez-Alt and a much more generous helping of the scientific method, we now know: the reason why McDonalds burgers don't grow much mold is not because of chemical preservatives, high salt levels, or a sterile manufacturing process. It's because "The small size of a McDonald's hamburger is allowing it to dehydrate fast enough that there is not enough moisture present for mold to grow."

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  7. Digg 404 Error Page To Be Brought to You by … Burger King?

    We've heard of funny 404 error page Easter Eggs before, but ... sponsored 404 pages? Strange. Apparently, that is the direction that Digg is headed, with an ad for Burger King set to appear on the error page that users hit when they type in a query with no results, BrandFreak reports. The ads, which were briefly up last week, are slated to reappear within the week. (The above picture is not an actual ad, but rather an artist's rend.) The ads will be promoting Burger King's "Tiny Hands" campaign, about a man with freakishly tiny hands who is sad because he cannot grasp a Burger King® Double Cheeseburger.

    WalletPop grabbed the text of one such ad, which will be accompanied by a hypertext link to a "Tiny Hands" BK ad:

    The error page is reported to say, "No results for 'Your Search Error' were found. Looks like your search had a typo. Blame it on your tiny hands. The beefy $1 Burger King Double Cheeseburger gives tiny hands some trouble, too."

    We're conflicted:

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