After speculation from last week, the star-studded supporters of the company Planetary Resources announced their intention to begin mining asteroids for water and precious metals. While an audacious claim to begin with, the company doesn't stop there: Planetary Resources says it will launch its own fleet of spacecraft, bring in billions in precious metals, and even sell water from space-based depots. This just got even more exciting.
Well, this was inevitable. The abysmal tedium of Mass Effect 2's mining segments has been well-known since initial reviews of the game came out; however, the minigame has now inspired minor nerdcore sensation Kabuto the Python (above) to pen a rap about his frustration with BioWare's design choices. Sample lyrics: "I used to rock microphones, rhymin' in the stadium/These days I launch probes, mining for palladium/Slouched at my console crying from the tedium/I contemplate relations with the slimiest of aliens." Video below: technically NSFW, but if your boss doesn't care about your listening to tracks about Mass Effect at work, we don't think the obscenities per se are going to be an issue.
Now that the U.S. space program is being told to rely on private enterprise for crucial programs such as the Space Shuttle and Moon missions, our nation is going to have to find better reasons to heave men skyward than mere "scientific discovery." But the most likely solution is already woven into the very fabric of our national culture! Now that progress is out the window, what could be more American than voyaging to the stars in search of filthy, void-tainted lucre? We here at Geekosystem believe firmly that both N.A.S.A. and private companies should look to video games for models on how to monetize mankind's outward urge. Humans have been piloting imaginary spacecraft through the digital aether since way before they began exploiting space for pecuniary advantage; below are some of the ideas our best and brightest video games designers have dreamed up over the years.