A 24-year-old Canadian man has been arrested after walking along the route of Kingston, Ontario's Santa Claus Day Parade telling children that there was no such thing as Santa Claus. Unsurprisingly, the man -- who police described as "having his hair formed to look like horns that were protruding from his head" -- was drunk, and also in violation of his probation, which is still no good excuse for being a jagweed of this caliber.
A 30 year old man was arrested in Madison, Wisconsin last week. The arrest came after people nearby complained to police about the gentleman's excessive drinking and drug use. Police found a knife, marijuana, and drug paraphanalia on his person. Given the fact that the cops found a loaded gun in his bag during a previous run in with the law, the man was taken into custody. His name? Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop.