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Archaeology

  1. Ancient Babylonians Were Just Like Us, Complained About Poor Service From Retailers

    They were into Yelp before it was cool.

    You millennials today have it so easy, you know. Time was if you wanted your local copper ore salesman to know you were unsatisfied with his merchandise, you had to painstakingly chisel out your frustrations onto a clay tablet, send it along with your messenger through a part of town where he might get jumped by one of your family's various enemies, and hope the guy on the other end even knew how to read. 

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  2. Taxidermist Recreates Face of 2,500-Year-Old, Heavily-Tatted Siberian Ice Princess

    Magic? Magic.

    For those of you not up on your early '90s archaeological breakthroughs (guilty), back in 1993 Novosibirsk scientist Natalia Polosmak excavated the remains of "Princess Ukok," a mummified woman whose elaborate tattoos are still the best-preserved body art to ever be discovered.

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  3. Museum Officials Admit to Gluing King Tut’s Beard Back On, Damaging It With Spatula

    This is why we can't have nice pharaohs.

    According to the Associated Press, the 3,300-year-old burial mask of pharaoh Tutankhamun, one of the most prized artifacts at the at the Egyptian Museum in Cairo, was irreversibly damaged last year during a bout of overzealous spatulating.

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  4. Bow Down: Archaeologists Discover Tomb of Previously Unknown Pharaonic Queen

    The 3rd Khentakawess, but first in our hearts.

    Czech archaeologists have unearthed a tomb in Egypt belonging to a queen who ruled 4,500 years ago.

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  5. The Medieval Ages Were F****** Terrible: Skeleton Found With Stake Through Chest In “Vampire Grave”

    Modern vampires have it so easy.

    Spoopy news for anyone who romanticizes Ye Olden Times: an ancient skeleton has been discovered in a Bulgarian "vampire grave" with an iron ploughshare hammered through its chest.

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  6. Archaeologists Have Unearthed a Dungeon They Believe Held Vlad the Impaler (AKA Dracula) Just in Time for Halloween

    Who's up for a field trip?

    It's monster season! But how do archaeologists on a restoration effort at a creepy abandoned castle get involved in the Halloween fun—aside from the fact that their work location is basically a Scooby Doo set? Why, they uncover the dungeon that likely held the man who was part of the inspiration for Dracula, of course!

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  7. Rats May Be off the Hook for that Whole “Spreading the Plague” Thing Thanks to New Research

    Good. Splinter needed a win.

    Rats have a bad reputation despite being adorable, intelligent, and proficient in the secret art of ninja. That might have something to do with the fact that rats and their fleas took the blame for the spread of the Black Plague in the 14th century, but new research may exhonorate them. Forensic scientists now say the plague infection was airborne.

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  8. Archaeologists Discover 2,600-Year-Old “Warrior Prince” That’s Actually a Warrior Princess

    Great Hera!

    Did you think I wouldn't use a Xena picture for this post? Did you really?

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  9. World’s Oldest Board Game Found in Turkey

    Turns out Monopoly is not the world's oldest board game, just the board game for the world's oldest people.

    Archeologists have the coolest job pretty much ever. It's not all accidentally bringing mummies back to life, fighting Nazis, or stopping evil cults, but even the real-life ones make really cool discoveries. Recently, a team of archaeologists found what they believe to be the world's oldest game in a 5,000 year old Bronze Age burial site in Turkey.

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  10. Science Says: People Buried Vampires, Tyrannosaurs Hunted Prey

    And Now For Something Completely Different

    Today in part seven of our ongoing series Things People Dug Out of the Ground, new evidence of Slavic vampire burial practices and proof that Tyrannosaurus rex wasn't the cowardly scavenger that know it all little kid tried to convince you it was back in the third grade.

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  11. Iron Age Medicine Tablets Among Treasures From Ancient Shipwreck

    Researchers sifting through the artifacts of a 2,000-year-old shipwreck have uncovered an unexpected treasure --  one not of gold or silver, but simple, unassuming zinc. A tin full of zinc tablets contained within the wreck may be one of the earliest examples of a modern, prepared medicinal compound, say researchers in a story published this week in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences.

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  12. North Korea Finds Ancient Unicorn Lair, Because Sure, Why Not

    Continuing their proud nation's great tradition of being simultaneously wackier and sadder than all other nations, North Korean archaeologists have announced the discovery of what they claim is the lair of a unicorn. What, you may ask, could lead them to believe they had stumbled on such an incredible find? According to the country's state run news service "A rectangular rock carved with words "Unicorn Lair" stands in front of the lair." I think you'll agree -- pretty hard to argue with evidence like that.

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  13. Near-Complete Woolly Mammoth Skeleton Found Near Paris, Causing Visions of Cloning to Dance Through Our Heads

    Winter Is Coming

    French archaeologists have unearthed a near-complete woolly mammoth skeleton about 30 miles east of Paris along the Changis-sur-Marne riverbank. They named it Helmut. I smell an Ice Age spinoff coming on. The remains date back to between 200,000 and 500,000 years ago and were found near two flint axes, which indicates that poor Helmut had some contact, possibly of the deadly variety, with Neanderthals.

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  14. Indiana Jones Cat Discovers 2,000-Year-Old Ruins In Rome

    It Belongs in a Museum!

    Having traveled to Italy this past year, I can attest to seeing quite a few cats laying about on all sorts of ancient items but this one takes the cake. While his owner was attempting to chase him down, a curious kitty discovered a set of ruins untouched for almost 2,000 years. All my cats do is sleep and lick themselves. 

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  15. Skeleton Army Dug Out of Danish Bog, Undead Catastrophe Probably Imminent

    A team from Denmark's Aarhus University is excavating a Danish bog at Alken Enge that is turning out to be a practically never-ending source of ancient human remains. The most recent discovery at this bog is a boon to archaeologists and necromancers alike -- the skeletal remains of a 200 strong army whose lives ended at the bog. But wait, it gets magnitudes of order more grim, because those lives appear to have ended not in battle, but as human sacrifices.With so many remains on hand, the Alken Enge promises to provide researchers with valuable insights on how human sacrifice -- not an uncommon practice in Iron Age Europe -- was carried out in the region. It also promises to be the starting point for an undead army that will almost certainly rise up and wipe Copenhagen from the map, but hey, you can't do science without disturbing the eternal rest of a few hundred angry warrior spirits.

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  16. New Egyptian Pyramids May Have Been Discovered Thanks To Google Earth And Keen Eyes

    Imagine What You'll Know Tomorrow

    Lots of folks have tried to claim throughout the years that the famous pyramids of Egypt were built by aliens. I have a feeling this news will only strengthen those opinions. Google Earth may have accidentally found some undiscovered pyramids thanks to a photo taken from their satellite in outer space. Hit the jump to find out how this all happened and see exactly what Google Earth saw.

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  17. Archaeologists find evidence of 2,500-year-old chocolate

    Curiouser and curiouser!

    Archeologists have long thought that cacao beans and pods were primarily used in pre-Columbian cultures to make an elite beverage, made by crushing up the beans and mixing them with liquids or allowing their pulp to ferment. But a recent discovery by Mexico's National Institute of Anthropology and History has shifted our understanding of the ancient food, suggesting that the historical plant might have actually been used as a sauce or condiment much earlier than previously thought.

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  18. Boobs Had Bras Over 600 Years Ago, 500 Years Before Bra’s Invention

    Today in Boobs

    Holy boob revelations, Batman! Bras have long been thought to have arrived on the scene right around the time when women started abandoning their corsets for more comfortable options--but according to recent archaeological finds, women may have worn undergarments remarkably similar to those on the market today--600 years ago.

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  19. 50-Million-Year-Old Turtle Fossils Found Doing the Nasty

    It's pretty awkward when you walk in on your parents; imagine how the archaeologists felt when they walked in on these turtle fossils dating back to the Eocene epoch. Nine pairs of these copulating long-extinct reptiles were found in the Messel Pit in Germany. This must have been some party!

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  20. Ancient Engravings Prove That Early Modern Humans Just Loved the Vulva

    It Belongs in a Museum!

    Can you see the vulva in this picture? Well, it's there, and it's ancient! A recent discovery was made of 37,000-year-old wall art -- possibly the first-ever wall art -- at Abri Castanet in southern France. And upon closer inspection, it seems like these primitive humans had a great appreciation for female sex organs, so much so that they drew it all over the walls of caves. And it was the first thing they ever wanted to draw on the walls of caves! (Plus some animals and things, but most notably, vulvas.) So, what are we to make of this? Were primitive humans pervs? A lot less inhibited than people are today? Celebrating the female form? Or just simply practicing still-life?

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