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animal sex

  1. Female Frogs Tricked by Scientists Into Responding to Fake Mating Calls From Robots

    We're certain this proves some very, very important things about evolution and so forth. We're just not at all sure what any of those things are.

    Science is great for a lot of things -- curing diseases, creating new sources of heat and energy, what have you. However, science is also responsible for a lot of accidents that weird us out more than anything else. Case in point: consider the Túngara frog, who can typically be found croaking away in Central America. Scientists from the University of Texas discovered a way to fool the female of the Túngara frog species into responding to bogus mating calls that shouldn't even be possible, all using a robot imposter frog to do it. What's next, a cyborg-frog hybrid species? Man was not meant to toy with nature thus!

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  2. Make It Count, Dude: Spider Species Dies After Having Sex

    Male dark fishing spiders have just one roll in the hay in them. After mating, the arachnids immediately curl up and die.

    I know the human dating game can seem rough at times, but the fact of the matter is, we have it pretty good. Don't believe me? Consider if you will the sorry state of Dolomedes tenebrosus, the dark fishing spider. A recent study of the spiders, common around the American midwest, found that males of the species get a grand total of one shot at breeding -- immediately after copulation, their work on this Earth done, the creatures promptly curl up and die.

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  3. How the Chicken Lost Its Penis

    A Current Biology study published this week explains how evolution left most bird species penis-free.

    Researchers have long wondered why evolution robbed many bird species -- like the chicken -- of a piece of anatomy considered pretty key in most of the breeding we're familiar with -- the penis. A new study of a wide range of birds has revealed a key gene that stymies penis growth in males and suggests a few reasons that nixing the penis could be evolutionarily advantageous for the animals, though it does make calling a male rooster a cock among the crueler jokes in the history of time.

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  4. Aww, They Think They’re People: Male Bats Perform Oral Sex on Females

    Earlier today, we brought you news of a sea lion that dances along to Backstreet Boys. This evening brings more news of animals partaking in an activity once thought to be the sole dominion of enlightened animals like us humans: Oral sex. Analysis of a colony of flying foxes in India found that males of the species perform oral sex on females. Yup, you read that right.

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  5. Male Guppies Hang With Their Ugliest Friends to Improve Their Own Chances of Getting Some

    With Valentine's Day around the corner, plenty of us are getting our annual harsh reminder that finding love can be really, really hard. We might like to say it's not so, but the fact is, whether you're a guppy or a human, looks count for a lot in the dating game. Like most things, though, looks are all relative -- the worse looking the crowd we find ourselves in, the better looking we seem to be. According to a study published this week in the Proceedings of the Royal Academy of Science B, guppies  looking for love long ago perfected the mating tactic of surrounding themselves with specimens less attractive than they are, a tried and true human trait on display in bars across the world every weekend.

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  6. Not How That Works! Man Tries to Impregnate Horse, Create Centaur in Worst Possible Way

    29-year-old Texas man Andrew Mendoza was arrested for having sex with his neighbor's horse after being stood up by his girlfriend. To make the story even worse, Mendoza told police he was trying to "make the horse have a baby," because he thought it would have a "horse-man baby." That, Mr. Mendoza, is not how you get a centaur.

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  7. Unrepentant Florida Donkey Diddler Accepts Plea Deal, Will Continue To Fight For His Right To Donkey Sex

    Last week, we brought you the latest developments in the case of Carlos Romero, a Florida farmhand allegedly caught in a sexually compromising position with a miniature donkey named Doodle. It would appear that the judge in the case, Steven Rogers, did not grant the argument made by Romero's lawyers that laws on the books in Florida prohibiting sexual contact with animals violated the U.S. Constitution, a fact which is to Florida's credit. Today, we bring you news that should bring some kind of merciful closure to this sordid affair -- but probably won't -- as Romero has accepted a plea bargain.

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  8. Objection! Lawyers For Man Accused Of Donkey Sex Say Anti-Donkey Sex Laws Are Unconstitutional

    Today in "Yeah, well, it's Florida, what are you gonna do?" news, the latest developments from the long, strange case of Carlos Romero, a Florida man accused of sex acts involving a miniature donkey named Doodle. In a legal maneuver that we pray came as a surprise to the court, Romero's lawyers have filed a motion to have the Florida law that criminalizes sexual behavior with an animal struck down on the basis that it violates the Fourteenth Amendment of the Constitution. Yup, you read that right.

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  9. Size Does Matter: Beetles With Larger Genital Spines Are More Successful Breeders

    Bad news today for less-than-well-hung males. Well, male seed beetles at least. It turns out that contrary to the gentle reassurances of female seed beetles the world over, males with larger genital spines make for more successful and more attractive mates.

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  10. Man Accused Of Donkey Sex Rejects Plea Bargain, Doesn’t See What’s Wrong With Donkey Sex

    A Florida man accused of a sex act with a miniature donkey named Doodle has rejected a plea deal, choosing instead to take his case to a jury. Considering that when he was arrested last month, 31-year-old Carlos R. Romero offered a vigorous defense of the right to have sex with animals, telling detectives that "Florida is a backwards state and people frown on zoophilia here," we don't exactly love his odds in an open court.

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