Don’t bother pinching yourself. You’re awake. This is actually happening. With The Expendables 2 just hitting theaters this weekend, Variety is reporting another Expendables-type film will feature a cast made up of female action stars. Hit the jump for my reaction and oh yeah, all the details we know so far.
Sylvester Stallone is upset, you guys. Upset that action movies just aren’t what they used to be. You know, back when men were men, and so were action movies. Now it’s just a bunch of magic guys in tights who don’t participate in any real action because their magic make it too easy. And that’s not action. I mean, look at those freaking arms! Sylvester Stallone never let anyone do any CGI to him, I’ll tell you that.
But seriously, he said that action films are “fading away.” Has he not been to the movies at all in recent years? Man, he’s been working hard on Expendables 2, sequestered all the way up in that Tibetan mountain lodge, far away from civilization as we know it!
Would Will Smith have benefitted from the abilities of a sonic screwdriver in Bad Boys 2? Totally! Would it have made for the most unsuspenseful action franchise that ever existed! Yes, probably. In fact, the sonic screwdriver pretty much blows Earthly technology and weaponry out of the water. And that is why Doctor Who has aliens in it.
An action movie with a strong, proven female protagonist is just the sort of fare The Mary Sue keeps an eagle eye out for. So, it’s no surprise we’ve been quietly buzzing in our cyberhive about the trailer for Colombiana. The forthcoming Zoë Saldana vehicle looks like fairly familiar and compelling territory; a wronged child of war-torn streets grows up to seek revenge from the other side of a sniper scope. At least, Colombiana’s trailer seems to be selling it as a light-fingered, race-shifted lift of La Femme Nikita, an unsurprising turn, since it’s being produced by Luc Besson himself.
The film could very well turn out to be a thrilling, action-filled ride, or it could be a sad, deflated pass at the same old genre elements. Only time, and actual viewing, will tell, so wait with us as we trim the hedges on our bets, and watch this space for our thoughts further down the pipeline. What’s concerning this reviewer, as I drive around encountering billboard after billboard sprung up like mushrooms in the night, is the marketing campaign.