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  1. Tampa Police Say: Don’t Report Undercooked Waffles To 911

    It's still the most important meal of the day though

    A Florida woman dialed 911 to report being served "raw waffles," and the tape of the surreal call is now being used by Tampa Police as a lesson on when to use emergency services. Warning: although not as depressing as most 911 tapes, it'll probably make you crave some brinner.

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  2. Star Wars Gets the 9/11 Truther Treatment With Luke’s Change: An Inside Job Parody [Video]

    Loose Change is a video that points out coincidences and uses scary music to convince gullible people that the September 11th attacks were an inside job. It has been a pivotal resource for 9/11 truthers and conspiracy theorists, but it never had enough Star Wars references for my liking. That's why Luke's Change: An Inside Job is so much better. It gives the weird conspiracy treatment to the attack on the Death Star in Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope, and it's pretty great.

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  3. Lolz: FCC Sez W3 Can Text 911 by May 2014 =D

    Well now, this is certainly an ironic development. According to an article distributed by the Associated Press, the FCC is working to give mankind the ability to reach emergency services at 911 via text messaging. You read that correctly, the very same distracting activity that has led to so many vehicular tragedies and other lethal mishaps will soon become our lifeline. You know, for those moments when we find ourselves trapped under rubble or are about to be mauled by a grizzly bear. Only after you text your friends first, naturally.

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  4. Man Calls 911 Five Times to Complain About Broken iPhone

    A broken phone is totally an emergency, just ask any kid in junior high, or in college, or anyone really. Of course, you could probably get a kindergartner to tell you that it's an emergency that doesn't require a call, much less five calls, to 911. Apparently, Michael Alan Skopec had not talked to a kindergartner about the importance of only calling 911 in a real emergency, because he called, repeatedly, to complain about his broken iPhone. Suprisingly enough, no one was able to help him with that, although he did get some police officers sent to his home.

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  5. FCC Rules All Cellphones Must Have GPS by 2018

    GPS capable phones have been around for a while and are an absolute godsend if you have a sense of direction that is as bad as mine. The downside is that I have to rely on other people's GPS enabled phones because I'm still living in the Stone Age. If the FCC has its way --which it will, it just ruled on this-- all phones will have GPS come 2018.

    Why? The reason they cite is for the purpose of tracking 911 calls. Whether or not that's just a smokescreen depends on your personal level of paranoia and frequency of illegal activites. Currently, if a non-GPS enabled phone dials 911, the provider has to triangulate the location, which is annoying and inefficient, apparently. Straight up GPS is just much better for figuring out exactly where you are, however that makes you feel.

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  6. 911 to Allow Texting, Mobile Video

    In an attempt to update 911 to current trends in modern technology, the Federal Communications Commission is looking to have the emergency service respond to text messages and video streaming from mobile phones. Though it may seem a little ridiculous at first, allowing for text messages and streaming video would actually help people report crimes without being overheard.

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