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4chan

  1. CNN Asks Tough Questions About The Nude Hacking Scandal, Like “Who Is This Four Chan Person Anyway?”

    Next at 11, "why does Emoji keep texting our teens?"

    Ohhh, CNN. We want to hate you for what you've become—that is, a shallow and irresponsible ratings grab which so often misses the mark when it comes to responsible journalism—but it's almost like trying to hold your bed-ridden racist grandpa to any kind of standard. At this point, it's easier and less head-ache deducing to have a nice inward chuckle at how obsolete you've become. Thanks for bringing some unintentional levity to what's actually been a total nightmare.

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  2. Large-Scale Hack Lands Stolen Nude Photos Of Jennifer Lawrence & Other Celebrities Online

    The internet is a cesspool, but at least we'll always have cat videos.

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  3. Lock Up Your Bronies, Hasbro May Be Claiming Creative Control Over My Little Pony‘s Adult Fans

    Friendship is magic an infringement on property rights.

    Frankly, I'm surprised it took this long: after four years of growing ubiquity, the good "Brony" name and all its accompanying fan-made creations may now be owned by Hasbro. Everyone put your hooves where I can see them and back away from Deviantart. Slowly.

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  4. Samuel L. Jackson Reddit Contest Concludes in Confusion

    Can't we all just get along?

    It all started out so well. Samuel L. Jackson began a contest on Reddit that would end with him saying a 300-word monologue that the users voted to the top. This was all done to draw attention to "one of [his] favorite non-profits, Alzheimer's Association[.]" Cool, right? Wrong. 4chan caught wind of it, and the remainder of the contest became a quick descent into madness.

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  5. You Can Make Samuel L. Jackson Say Whatever You Want!

    There's a contest where the winner gets to have Samuel L. Jackson say whatever they want? We truly live in a golden age.

    Getting Samuel L. Jackson to say something you've written would be a huge honor for anyone. That's because every word out of his mouth turns to solid gold. Then that gold sprouts angel wings and flies into your ears. Jackson announced on Reddit yesterday that he would record whichever 300-word monologue gets the most upvotes on his thread. Reddit handled it about as well as you might expect, which is to say not well at all. This is why we can't have nice things.

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  6. Sadly Not The Onion: Glorious Leader Kim Jong Un Wins Time’s Person of the Year Poll

    You would think that, by now, traditional businesses would have learned not to offer online polls. The Internet can quickly become a hive of trolls, wreaking havoc in whatever way they can. Yet Time's reader poll for Person of the Year went up, same as always, and didn't even include rudimentary measures to prevent folks from abusing the voting system. Now that the vote has concluded, it's pretty clear that something went awry. Kim Jong Un, the glorious leader of North Korea, won.

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  7. 4chan Tries To Dub The Dew, Trolls Mountain Dew

    Restaurant chain Villa Fresh Italian Kitchen innocently tried to crowdsource the name of its new green apple-flavored Mountain Drew concoction, letting people submit and vote for names online. Well, 4chan decided to take them up on their offer to "Dub the Dew," and results were highly educational. I didn't know there were so many ways to describe a carbonated beverage tasting faintly of green apple, and apparently, neither did Mountain Dew.

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  8. 4chan Hits /b/illionth Post

    4chan announced on Twitter this morning that it had just passed 1 billion total posts. Yay! It has been a really weird journey so far, 4chan, and we cautiously look forward to what your next billion posts will bring us.

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  9. 4chan Helps Burger King Maintain Food Safety Standards

    On Monday, this picture was uploaded anonymously on 4chan, smugly proclaiming "This is the lettuce you eat at Burger King". Yeah, well these Burger King employees might be good at balancing themselves on buckets of vegetation, but they're not very good at removing Exif data from their photos. The denizens of 4chan were quick to notice, and the very next day, the lettuce-stepper was fired.

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  10. Ludicrous Bill In New York State Senate Endeavors To End All Anonymous Posting On The Internet

    You know SOPA and you know CISPA, so you might think you have a good handle on crazy Internet legislation. You might think you've seen the crazy stuff, but unless you've seen Thomas F. O'Mara's bill S06779, you ain't seen nothin' yet. Currently sitting in the New York State Senate, 6779 proposes that any and all anonymous posts online should be subject to takedown by a webmaster if the anonymous poster refuses to attach their legal name to the post and verify their legal name, IP address, and home address. Luckily, this bill is probably too insane to pass, and definitely too laughably ludicrous to even enforce.

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