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The Cake Is A Lie

Blogger Wants To Produce A Cirque du Soleil-like Portal Stage Show In Vegas, Needs $25 Million

A blogger named Gordon Knott has a really amazing idea. He’d like to put together a live stage show based on the video game Portal. He sees it happening in the style of Cirque du Soleil in Las Vegas and would have an initial budget of $25 million. There’s just one problem – he doesn’t have $25 million. 

For the record, Knott is also open to this idea taking form in Universal Studios or Disney, too. Here’s how he described the show on his blog, “A theme park style stage show featuring characters and situations from the video game PORTAL and PORTAL 2. The game features portals, Chell, robots, GLaDOS, amazing stunts and possibly cake. Similar to ‘Cirque du Soleil,’ only enjoyable.”

Hey, I find Cirque enjoyable! But I digress, Portal is infinitely cooler. Here’s the breakdown:

7 similar looking female stunt performers / traceurs / acrobats.
Several circus cannons
Bungee ropes
Mechanically controlled set.
360 degree experience – portals appear all over the auditorium.
Animatronic GLaDOS
Portal lighting/special effects inc smoke, mirrors and holograms.
Script (prequel to PORTAL 1?) by Ricky Gervais
Voice acting by Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and/or Karl Pilkington.
Music by Daft Punk.

Cameo apperance by Gordan Freeman?

A fan of The Ricky Gervais Show, huh? Knott says each show will only last around 25 minutes in order to get more people in and out each day and he guesses this will cost around $25 million to get up and running. “This is a one off fee to develop and build the first set. After that we can replicate it at theme parks around the world for a fraction of the price,” he writes. He hopes to break even after two years with the right merchandising and for an idea of what this all would actually looks like, Knott references the fantastic Portal fan film, Portal: No Escape.

Is Knott starting a Kickstarter for his brilliant idea? No, he’s just putting it out there. And hey, maybe by us putting it out there he might find a backer! You never know. Perhaps that Aperture Science company wants in.

Yes, it’s a pipe dream but a really neat one if you ask me. I would add that the audience should be promised cake at the end of the show but must exit through dirty tunnels in order to find it. Would you pay money to attend?

(via reddit)

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  • Terence Ng

    Given the way Chell looks, the first thing on his list should be pretty easy to find in and around Vegas.

  • Seven84

    Cue a cease and desist letter from Valve/Microsoft/EA in 3…2…1… of course they’ll not only shut him down, but take the idea to a studio themselves and make millions. :p

  • plat0n

    Its one thing to be overly enthusiastic about crowd sourced fan films, with bad staging and acting, overproduced in After effects. No harm no foul.
    But to at least partly seriously considering making big budget stage production on enthusiasm alone without proper experience is pushing it too far. People could get hurt. Everyone should know their place in the world and act responsibly. Delusional charismatics with visions of grandeur are extremely dangerous to people around.

  • Anonymous

    “We’re in between banks right now…Just make those checks out to ‘cash’.”

  • Lance Bravestar

    Yeah, a Kickstarter will definitely not happen, since Valve owns the IP. Remember the Inspector Spacetime web-series?

    Still, I’d love to see this.

  • Jill Pantozzi

    Pretty sure he’s not actually serious about trying to make this happen. Just trying to have some fun.

  • Anonymous

    Yes, They went ahead and produced it anyway, taking out the full name of the character. And they’re considering a second one.
    Web-based projects are not as carefully watched as attempts to do full-blown stage productions.
    Having said that, the guy’s got a neat idea, and he may well be able to present the concept to Valve and see if they’re interested. That’s much more likely than a 21st century version of “Hey kids, let’s put on a show!”

  • Javier Jauregui

    The sad thing is, this sort of thing actually prevents the projects from every even being a thought. As they’ll skirt around it thinking they’ll get a lawsuit for the idea. Happens with fan made shirts for Disney/Cartoon network all the time. IP owners just figure if they try it, they’ll potentially face some sort of idea theft claim.

  • Lance Bravestar

    Yeah, and also Inspector Spacetime is quite detached from Community, and leaves plenty of room for original content, since they only use the concept of parodying Doctor Who and nothing more. A direct adaptation of Portal wouldn’t work like that.

  • Anonymous

    So, you’re admitting your analogy was poor, then?

  • Lance Bravestar

    Alright fine you win I suck at analogies.